Friday, November 19, 2004

my share of life

school has been the only thing that has been keeping me busy and its the only thing that i've been doing. if you can't find nowadays, the library is the place to be. and you would see me there burning my ass off...

something new right? its the time of the term that all of us are working hard... and this term i had my part of college life. i started majoring this term and i realized how hard it is to be sitting pretty at home when all of your mates are working their ass off.

now i'm feeling what they're feeling when i do the same. i see my friends do nothing and a few of us are the only ones doing the work.

i'm here in speedbytes (computer shop). for two weeks, my classes are upto 11am only and then i'm free. and today im just hangout before going home. i don't want to go out coz they're playing the CD of Alicia Keys. and they're right now playing Heartburn. and i dont care if people are looking at me. i feel like singing... i miss her so much.

when i'm doing stuff that really hurts my head, i just think of that night my cousin and i watched the concert and it has been the best night ever.. i want to remember how it was.

but i have to be researching right now. but i can't concentrate. it's the song. i feel like floating in the air.

and i guess i dont have more to say... if i ain't got you with me baby!!!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

im sooooo freakin' pissed!!!

it started when my first class was thru. i went to agno, the usual that i would be meeting kaycee. but it was shit coz when i got there kaycee was about to go. felt really shitty. i just can't seem to tell why. i was staying there for one whole hour and i see her again passing by with her NFF (new flag friends). but whatever coz i was with yot na.

yot and i was there and we were talking about anything lang. not just anything. the first thing that pops into our minds.. literally we weren't even talking sense. AT ALL. the whole conversation was (blah). and we were already laughing at each other. both of us are just plain weird.

i went to mcdo coz jeanette and other people were there. and i was just waiting for the group meeting for our project. i was getting pissed coz its been two hours and they can't make up their minds if we are going to have a meeting or not. so i forced to just stay in school and study inside the library. and in the end, only four of us was there to attend the meeting coz we can't everybody. and it was just to meet up and go to the supermarket and buy some stuff for the product.

i was really pissed. we should've finished this last week. if they could've listened to me when i was saying to them that a calamansi sanitizer is not a feasible product. but NOOOOO! they still wanted to go their way. they didn't look at the long term situation. and just now they acme to realize what we ahve been telling them. they should've listened to us in the first place. now that there are lots of stuff to do, we can't even make our palns straight.

the only thing that is making me happy right now is thank god i have jeanette in my group or else i would leaving the group and pursue a sole proprietor project.

she was telling yesterday that i should look at the bright side. we were already in the right track. at least now they would be listening to us. but still i feel the hassle side. we all want to do want each one wants and there is no cooperation. we don't even alot a time to meet coz we are busy doing something else. i just hate it. how will we survive the next 5 terms of our lives.

i have to control myself. i just i have to... coz IM SOOOOOOOOOO FREAKIN" PISSED!!!!

im having my BF...

you know what that is


Tuesday, November 02, 2004

there is still hope

its back to school from a one day holiday. damn it! lasalle is just shittin' us all. after the dreadful midterms week, we are back again. seeing what our hard's work have paid us. and it did... i passed naman pala accouting to my shock, i got a 2.0 midterm grade for the class.

coming back to school is just tiring. lots to be passed and to be accomplished. i just promised myself one thing. that i'm not going to cut classes from now on. i have to be focusing more on my studies (i have heard this before... ah... from me). even if it's a hard thing to do, i would be sacrificing. i have to maintain a grade point average of 2.0 for the next two years of my life in DLSU. we all can't do anything about it.

but there will always be my long breaks. i would really try my best to stay inside school and study for my classes. make the most out of the time we have left.

i can say that there is still hope for us all. especially for me. my type of person. the BUM!

just for me to bring out the best inside...

Friday, October 29, 2004

i failed the accouting test

i just hate it. i failed the accounting test.

i didn't sleep because i was studying for two tests i will be taking yesterday. i popped extra joss and red bull so that i would be awake but it wasnt really helpful. i just wished i just slacked off so i wont be feeling bad that i studied kinda hard for the test. the ENVSCAN test was okay. it was just a modified true or false type of test. the take home quiz is okay and quiet easy.

i even cut my MARKETI class so i could study for the test. it is just sad that i was so proud i could understand the test easily and i just placed 4 asterisk in the letters. and after all that i still failoed. i checked while i was in the LRT - 52 points. no point of checking it again because it is a sure fail. i was so pissed because their was still time to spare. iw as the first to stand up in the class because i want to catch the last train. and i have exactly 45 minutes in the alarm.

i was really pissed that i called my friend while in the LRT and ranted everything to him. i was almost crying coz i really wanted to pass. i wasn't aiming for a high grade but if given the opportunity, okay! but just to pass. but unfortunately its 18 more points before i "break even".

when the teacher told us that she will be giving the person who gets a perfect score in the exam a 4.0 in the final grade. and i was kinda hoping at first but when i started guessing i know that i will just pass it. but i didn't realize that i will be failing. i didn't expect that i would getting a 52... FIFTY TWO! not even close to the passing grade. NOT EVEN. x-(

officially missing you

right now. after all that's been happening. even if i was always irritated by him. im finally saying i miss him so much. now that i haven't been seeing him for a quite a while, i can say that my days are incomplete without seeing him or even annoying him. at times i want to hide from him because he will be getting my stuff and using it without even asking. i mean eat my food or get money from me. feeling that i am treating him.

our friends are there but he isn't. i can still feel his presence whenever i go to starbucks but without him here beside me, the memories of you are just coming back to me. i just cant help but cry at times. but i have to stop thinking about you becasue it will just be a waste of time because i know you're not thinking of me. maybe you're just saying that but when we are not talking you won't even remember me as a friend.

i dont get why i always have you in my mind. i have you in my heart and even when i sleep, in my dreams. everywhere i go, places we've been, parties we've crashed, bars we've trashed, and even the streets we've just passed by. i remember us. together.

but there will never be a future. i dont want it to ever happen. i think if it happens again, i will only get hurt. it's hard to even trust a person like you again. i trust you like a friend you have always been to me but i don't think i can ever give my whole heart. all our friends are always slapping me whenever they see i'm still sad. and they know that it is because of you. they say i'm so stupid to even think of the mere existence of you. that even if you have hurt me a million times, i am still loving you as a person you have been when i first met you.

it's as if last year was yesterday. it has been forever but the pain is still there. it's as if you were here a moment ago but now you're gone. we can't do anything about it. you told me you are going back. but please dont make me wait. i think i would be waiting if you say so. how about the life must go on. live the most out of it. enjoy life while you still can.

without you how will i enjoy or even live the most out of it, if there is a hole inside me. when you're not around, i feel a hollow portion within me. and that part of me is always aching. and i dont know what to do with it anymore. no medication helped. i even went to the doctor to check if it is only a bad body ache. but he told me it wasn't.

they all say so. and they all tell me to forget and move one. and the ache will go away sometime if do what they say. all the experts / professionals say so. but are there really specialists for this type of illness or sickness.

there is no maybe. it's you. it has always been and it will always be you.

can you help me figure it out?

can you even mend the pain?

if the wound is gone will the hole leave a scar? or

will it never end?

i'm officially missing you *****!

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

its all a blurrrrrrrrr

everything happened so fast.

october 16, 2004

happy birthday yot!!! it was yot's birthday. debut niya and iw as really excited and nervous din coz i haven't practiced that much for my performance. iw as really hoping i could go also to mikko's party but i can't ditch yot... kasi love ko tong person na to. pero people are expecting me to be there so i told forced my mum to let me go...

both party was awesome...

yot's party:
it happened in Patio Vitoria in Intramuros... i came there late and i thought i was but the party hasn't started. thank god i really wanted to see yot dance. so i got there unprepared and wasted as hell. haven't fixed myself. a total wreck!

got there and just enjoyed myself. a lot of iv-5 people were there and i was really shocked that one of my barkada was there and it has been a while since i last saw her.

we did some dancing, singing, shouting(ako lang pala). drinking and just having the time of my life... until i can't remember what happened. i sat down taking pictures in my phone. so i could remember that special night by...

mikko's party:
i got there all dressed up from the first party. DRUNK!!!! people are telling me stories of what i've been doing. i only passed by to say hello and goodbye to everybody coz my mum and bro was waiting for me outside.

i can't remember the party but i know i wanted to have a good time...

i did the problem was the memories of the second party was all a blurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

a lot of people i dont know saw me drunk and a lot of them helped me out. as in kakahiya i dont even know therm i went there just to make a scandalous scene. hindi ko naman intention to be like that i just couldn't help myself pero i really want to thank all the people who were helping me. and those who laughed at me... kwentuhan niyo naman ako ng mga happenings coz i can't remember a thing about it.

i woke up the next day... walang hangover... asteeg i went to jogging as always. thank gopd someone gave me coffee to drink and according to people it was mikko's sister-in-law. ang bait niya. patch ata yung name niya well i couldn't remember talga... but my mum didn't even notice that i was drunk. isn't it funny iw as talking the whole time na sobrang wala na tlgang voice coming out of my mouth.

next time i'll let them take a video so i could see what i have been doing...

next time... later ulit... sino naman ang kasama ko...???


so that nothing will be blurrrr


Monday, October 11, 2004


i was with kaycee the whole time and it was really fun. hehehe i feel like i can't get over the concert. the whole time i was talking to people i just can't help but slip little statements about the concert. it was the best ever. it was i think better than alanis'. but i love them both... next concert is NO DOUBT!

i'll be seeing you again alicia. maybe in new york or back here in manila

and jeremiah jamae... i love him. i love yoU!

Sunday, October 10, 2004

a keys concert!

the concert was a blast. i never thought my dad would let me go. iw as dressed up and all for the concert and i was really hoping on seeing her up close... i was so excited. i have never been this excited since alanis' concert 1999.

the whole week i was so nervous because of the concert. i didn't want to spoil anything so i was really behaving myself but unfortuantely somthing went wrong. i forgot to text my mum that i would be going home late. i was really pissed off coz it was tuesday night that everything just went down with me. i couldn't stand up. i was so frustrated in school and especially at home. i couldn't do anything but just go with the flow of the day.

the days went by and nothing seemed right anymore.

but saturday was just my day. i was kinda feeling that i would be going but i wasn't sure if it would be a legal gimik.

we got there... a little late for the front act but just in time fos us to get comfortable.

AK! you rock!

im gonna rock wit you!

Saturday, September 11, 2004


actually my break started last august 25. fun times i could say. i've been in and out of the house and at times sneak out to meet up with my friends.

im back to my old habit. but not for long. i promised myself that when the next term starts, i would be really fousing on my studies. i have to get my grades higher than before so i wont have a problem in the end.

a whole lot of nights pigouts and drinking out and finally, i took my driving lessons.

movies and music just plain fun...

i enjoyed every minute of it.

Friday, August 13, 2004

boracay in the middle of the term

it was a week after my birthday. my mum told me she was going to boracay with my aunts, who just came from japan. well i was kinda excited coz when i asked her when she said september 6,7,8,9,10. and by that time i would be having my term break.


but then the trip unfortunately was this month.

i still got to go top boracay. people are asking me that wouldn't i not enjoy coz it's already raining. but still its boracay so whatever... im went...

i love the beach...

when i got there... i was kinda freaking out coz nobody was there to pick me up. i was kinda excited as well becauase im in caticlan already and a boat away to boracay.

some problem in the welcoming area but nothing to worry about. my mum as always got into a fight with the clerk or something. that day, it was very sunny. i loved it. i really didn't care that i was alone in the boat. i kept taking pictures from my phone in the boat.

we stayed in fairways and bluewaters. a very exclusive place for members only but because of the famous toti carino... thanks by the way! we got a free place... but the food wasn't free...

AMAZING! the place was just amazing. everyday i can see the sky so blue. the sun so bright and the weather - just GREAT! the lord wants me to have fun. i have been very busy in my studies that i dont have time for relaxing already. im always in school until night trying to finish a lot oif project papers.

this time im relaxed. nobody is to disturb me. im going to be having my sun bathing. hehehe there was this funny moment when i said im just going to be lying down the beach for like 5 minutes but unfortunately because i was so tired, i have fallen asleep. and my mum woke me up and that's when i really got dark.

the best part of the trip was the jetski. it was my first time to ride it AND BEST PART WAS DRIVING IT. i really wanted to try it and there was my chance.

tip: when riding the jetski wear a sunglass or something so that the splash of the water wont get into your eyes. it burns...

it was so fun. i went shopping for lots of accessories. i should have gotten my henna tattoo but i figured i wouldn't be appropriately looking when doing my class presentation in school. just not corporate and good looking.

so well don't be afraid of the sun. explore the beach even if it's raining. you'll love it.

so friends. next time i go there... i would be with you guys... let's play under the sun next summer...

Saturday, May 29, 2004

my first free saturday

it's my first week from school. and it was okay... at first i was okay with my sched as it turns out i have one class which i dont know anyone.. at all! so i decided to adjust in another class of the same faculty. unfortunately, the section was closed.

i talked to the teacher and she let me go to the other class without even paying the late adjustment fee of P220. its kinda expensive so i was really hesitant in adjusting.

thank god the teacher was nice.

i adjusted to the class where my other friends are in. so i started to attend the class yesterday. i was suppose to take seat at the back but a guy told me that the seat next to him was vacant. so i moved my stuff there and waited for the class to start. because i already heard the lecture, i was able to answer the questions of the teacher.

i was the only one answerng the questions. its as if im the only who's there. oh well. so i try giving the answers to the chinese guy next to me.

at my last class i was talking to my friend.

"galit ako sayo! lagi mo kinakausap yung guy na katabi mo" i was really sure who the guy was. i just wanted someone to answer stuff for me. i wasn't really thinking. but when he told me who the guy was. iw as like... that's him. yeo's brother. okay he is not cute and besides i dont dig chinese guys. he is all yours.

so this guy was the my friends inspiration in learning in that class pala. they're all chinese so they kinda like his looks. but not me. so they were saying that yeo(UAAP guy)'s brother is in the class too. they were all like telling me in that drolling face and saying how cute he is.

the yeo's brother i know is the who looks like him in team b. but he is really not the guy. they're just look-a-likes.

basically, i really didn't care. it's just nice to have to know someone in class which is kinda hard.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

summer is over... school starts.

as always we start shool earlier from other schools. we started to go back to school yesterday. it was exhausting coz i have three straight classes from 1140pm to 330 pm. to breaks at all. but it was okay my schedule is kinda hard to get...

break = loss of money

i say this because when there is a break you tend to spend money so that you wont get bored and for that matter you'll lose a lot of money. i mean from experience, i know myself that much that i would do anything not to get bored.

oh well. so school starts again. im not classmates with almost half the class. but it was fine. ir eally haven't seen the lot of them. but who cares. so i go to school yesterday midmorning when a girl stepped on me in the LRT. i was kinda pissed because my shoes B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! i was so shocked i couldn't help myself saying the F and the P word. it just popped out of my mouth like a potato hot from the pan.

people were shocked they were looking at me like im a devil or something. but whatever. i was just shocked she stepped on both shoes. i mean nobody steps on both shoes unless you meant it.

well so i got to school just in time for my first class. it was a very hot day. my first class was in the third floor of my building and i had to run to the third not to be late. but unfortunately i really wasn't late. the teacher was. you may never know what to expet on the first day at those teachers..

after the day has ended... the usual thing happened i went to my usual tambayan and the usual my friends so me there and invited me for a cup of coffee and the usual combo. without knowing it. i was sitting there with nothing to do and not even pulling a stag. i mean not so usual. i've stopped for almost a month and a half and it was kinda funny coz everybody just couldn't believe it. even my cousins just can't believe.

but two days past and i still have the power. i'm not mesmerized by the smoke surrounding me. i survived.

today same thing happened. i went to school almost late for class but just got there on time... i was with the sub teacher in the elevator. i got in first. hehehe... and she even started to lecture even though she is just the sub... oh well... just plain boring.

so there... im back to school... something im not that happy of...

Saturday, May 08, 2004

what's it been like over a decade

actually it been two months... it has been that long sine i updated.

nothing has happened really... nothing that important. after holy week we had our three-day exam. it was brutal. i didn't have sleep and i still crammed myself with those formulas and facts.

a week after it was judgement day. i was hoping i wouldn't fail anything because i was kinda baosting to my father that i was pretty sure that passed everything. and i really wanted him to give me the permission to go to boracay with my friends and if i pass everything, i would have a better chance of going. unfortunately my friend who was treating us to boracay had failed economics. it was sad. so now that boracay trip was cancelled. she had to have two summer classes and it would a total hassle for her if the trip goes on.

it was her birthday yesterday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYCEE!

so i went to baguio with my family. a tradition that we go there every year because my and dad and all his other friends at work are going to compete in a golf tournament.

but it was a different trip this year... it was short and we were few this year unlike those other years we went to baguio with friends.

maybe because it been like a decade... things really do change and for a decade.... it must have changed a lot... i guess... i wish it would be for the better

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

happy graduation

happy graduation to my two sobrang kulit na brothers... [JL, Ramon]

its the second day of the week and i have no money left. im down 3K!!!! i thought i was having the best week already but NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! i was wrong.

bad move... i wont do it again... i just have to make bawi of the money... and then stop... if i'm up by a thou of something... basta...

im looking forward to kaycee's boracay birthday bash. i really want to come... but im scared to ask my dad... baka hindi niya ko payagan... eh people are expecting me to be there and if i dont come, kaycee's 4 other guests wont come. qand because of me...

it's an all-expenses paid trip for two weeks in boracay... and im in the program. im expected to sing for her or something... im kinda having the feeling that a lot of people would want me to sing an in their birthday... im not a one-woman band. i have a band you know...

Saturday, March 13, 2004


last night was the concert of INCUBUS!


i was so excited when papa gave me the permission to watch the concert... after all the pleading and excuses... he finally said yes... i was crying na talaga kasi he wouldn't allow me... sabi niya "school first". pero it didn't end their... good thing naresched yung shipboard namin...

conflict kasi yung concert to the midterm-slash-shipboard namin. i can't miss that day kasi i won't pass ROTC... pero i was willing to sacrifice na ngayung concert... but then when i met my friend, he told me that the trip was resched already... so i checked it out and found out it was true... the first thing i did was call my dad but he wouldn't answer.. he messaged me "school first". deadma talaga....

hindi ko na talaga tinigilan... during class. my dad called na and PINAYAGAN NIYA KO!!!!!!!! WOOHOO.... i couldn't help but scream sa corridor during the class... as in when i got in... my friends knew that i can go na to the concert.... i couldn't help but smile the whole class and cut the last class kasi i was so excited...

during the concert... we were walking like everybody else... when we heard "warning", kala namin ng cousin ko they're just playing it... LIVE NA PALA YUN! as in we started running but my cousin couldn't run kasi she hid the digicam sa socks niya... so she was limping all the way.. to our belief na magcheck sila ng bags for camera... ang bawal lang pala is ballpen ang water... (kasi daw baka magkasulatan... or magkabasaan) bwahaha... funny talaga.

so nasically we were late as usual and we missed almost 3 songs... hindi tulog namin narinig mashado yung "megalomaniac".

pero unforgettable...

hehehe... ahd fun even if it's tiring to stand up on those monoblocks and stretch our neck because we couldn't see anything... but it was worth it... they were very good...

you should have been there... if you were.... diba???

Friday, March 05, 2004


... grabeh ang hectic na ng schedule ngayon... ang dami na ginagawa for classes... sobrang pagdating tuloy ng summer susulitin ko yung tulog ko... as in..

reden... if ever mag-baguio this summer... sama ka... hehehe para hindi ka na namin pag-usapan. hehehe...

grabe torture... hindi ko na lam ang gagawin ko... dun sa mga nakakaalam ng kwento... nangungulit na nman si paolo sa kin.... yesterday nga... hinihintay niya ko sa labas ng EGI taft tower... hindi ko talaga kinaya na aalis na siya tpos pabaon bago siya umalis ay kukulitin niya ko.

sa march 12 na siya aalis.. kasi hindi pa siya sure dun sa school niya sa chicago... eh gusto niya university of illinois kaya punta siya ng masa maaga para maayos yung school... mamiss ko siya sobra...

well may class ako ngayon... hindi ko lam kung bakit lagi ang tagal ng teacher namin... lagi na lang siyang late... sana maaga siya dumating para maaga rin kami umaalis...

pero okay lang rin naman... kaso inaatok na ko... ang aga ko kasi dito sa school. 6:30 pa lang nasa school na ko... kasi magpapaxray and gusto ko una ako sa line and fortunately i am infront of the line. i was frist pero i had to wait pa rin for the xray section to open. and mga *20 siya nagopen... so halos ganun din... i was hoping pa nga to go to the library and study p-ero unfortunately i had no time... so tumambay na lang ako sa agno(my second home) and nagyosi ng mga natitira kong yosi...

badtrip nga lang nung kumain ako ng cheeseburger ni ate chat, tumulo yung sauce ko sa bag and hindi ko nakita... eh nagtapon ako ng somethng sa can infront of me... when i leaned very white shirt touched the bag and with the sauce. so nagkastain yung shirt ko.

good thing i brought two polos with me. the ones that a friend would borrow. pero thank god i have an extra. so i have to wear a longsleeves polo and look like a complete idiot when the weather is
hot... sobrang stupid...

oh well... hindi pa rin dumadating yung teachert namin and tinatamad na kong magtype ng mahabang message. and mahaba na rin to... baka makwento ko an buong life ko if ever...

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

happy birthday!

it's my lolo litong's birthday. when i woke up this morning. i saw that my phone's light was blinking. and i saw that it was my lolo's birthday.

when i got home...

late as always...

just hanged out...

well it was tiring for my whole body and mind...(very long irritating story)

my dad asked me where i'd been and i told him i had an interview which was postponed... and they're alling me pala kasi they wanted me to go home early and i wasn't answering because i was busy eating. and didn't even find time to call or text them why they were calling

when i got home, i ate dinner and went straight to my room. what a daughter. my mum calls me a border because i don't greet them very well when i get home...

it's like i'm only a border in the house. i get home and don't even say hi or something. i just lock myself in the room and come out when it is time to eat...

but i have my days when i'm happy and i just greet them hahaha... just sharing...

it's my lolo's birthday. i wish i have known him or something. when i was born, he already passed away.

my dad tells us stories about our grandpa and i'm guessing he is as strict as my dad... "like father, like son". with all the stories i hear, i wish i was hearing it from him... you know... i would be laughing at my dad's mistakes and just be close to him or something. i never had a grandpa.

in both mother and father side. they were dead even before i was born. even my my grandma in the mother side. she died even before her husband. the only lola i had was lola rosie. and i'm not that lose to her. just when we go out, we get to talk. pero after that, i don't even see her during the whole week.

we live in the same roof but we don't get to see each other. if she's home im not. when i'm home, she's not. or she's in the other house. always like that... or we just like locking ourselves in the room...

happy birthday lolo! take care wherever you are.

Monday, February 16, 2004

because i got high

Falling in love.

Laughing so hard my face hurts.

A hot shower.

No lines at the supermarket (little marvel)

A special glance.

Getting mail

Taking a drive on a pretty road.

Hearing my favorite song on the radio that reminds me of someone. (halaga by parokya ni edgar)

Lying in bed listening to the tv in the other room.

Finding the sweater i want is on sale for half price pero hindi ko pa rin binili 'coz i don't have the money.

Chocolate milkshake. whippity!!!WOOHOO

A long distance phone call.


A good conversation.

The beach parking lot.

Laughing at my beautiful self.

Midnight phone call that last for hours.

Nung nabasa yung paa ko with those sprinklers i almost ran into

Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

Having someone tell me that you're beautiful today (only!!!).

Laughing at an inside joke.


Accidentally overhearing Chito say something nice about me.

Waking up and realizing I still have a 30 minutes left to sleep.

My first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner) SECRET!.

Making new friends and spending time with old ones.

Playing with a new old puppy before i went to school.

Having everybody play with my hair.

Sweet dreams.

Hot chocolate by Munch.

Road trips with friends hanggang kanto ng Vito Cruz.

Swinging on swings. actually sa sirang chair lang.

Making eye contact with a cute stranger

Winning a really competitive game (bet na hindi ako mag-aano kapag mag-aano ako nung saturday night).


Spending my time with close friends.

Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from my friends.

Holding hands with someone I care about.

Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad)
never change

Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.(Gonuts Donuts)

Watching the sunset from the jam-packed LRT.

Getting out of bed this morning and being grateful for another beautiful day!!! ---------Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Saturday, February 07, 2004

one hot day

actually it's kinda windy today. it's another ROTC training day but i didn't produce a single sweat today. the whole time there were no officers and we stayed the whole day in room M410. we had two lectures for the day... where i just fool around with the instructors. even if i was sleepy... i did get a lot of notes in the class...

but something happened...

my pen ran out of ink... so i had to stop taking down notes... and i became very sleepy and sleepy until i took a nap and woke up when we are having our recess...

recess: i had egg & cheese sandwich and a slice of marble cake. i wasn't full yet i don't want to buy another food. the food in that place is expensive. i was excited for the dismissal because i am going to buy siomai rice in agno... oh the siomai is good.

all good!

pero before i leave because im tired already, i'm gonna tell a little story. the one i was telling you about a girl on the bench..

well for starters, the girls name is kach. she is a girl found always at that specific bench with her friends and whoever just passes by. she's almost famous. but she has this specific friend that she wants to see that's why she goes to this bench, all day when she has time or she even gets this crazy idea of just staying at that bench, she would. just to see eeno.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

isn't obvious...

i can't write anything tonight because i'm so busy doing my homeworks. tomorrow i'll tell you a story of a girl in a bench.. quite nice to read about.

so i'll let you think about the girl in a bench. i'll let you in a little...

the girl gets to... hehehe... just wait!

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

soooo last week...

it has been a very rough university week for me. i have confronted with many things i didn't know how to handle by myself. and so what i did was just hangout and drink to it. i know in a matter of time, all my troubles would go away.

Monday (January 26, 2004) - nothing happened. sheng.

Tuesday (January 27, 2004) - nothing actually happened. sheng.

Wednesday (January 28, 2004) - Parokya Concert in Ampi during U-break. OH i would never forget the opening band. they were so good and the drummer was so cute(pag malayo!)... i wish he is cute up close and personal. they weren't the typical band who would be playing the rock or alternative or what some people look as the "noise".. the moment they started the soundcheck they got me mouth hanging from my face. oh they were very very good! i couldn't believe they were playing those 70's type of music.

and imagine. they were the engineering people so, they are very very intelligent plus they are musically inclined. the drummer was singing - twist and shout... la bamba... etc... i would give anything to get to meet the whole band. 100 PGI POINTS for yoU! they weren't the typical opening act where the audience were bored... they got the audience and they got good!

but when Parokya arrived. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I wanted to run to the stage and take the microphone and sing witht he band. i just wish i did. they can't stop me... you know i'm big. and you know it.!

"tama na yan. inuman na! o pare ko tumagay ka!"

Thursday (January 29, 2004) - nothing really happened. hindi sheng.

i was waiting for james meneseses in agno for 2 hours but unfortunately he forgot he had to go home early. i understand naman. pero sana man lang nagtext ka... kaso ok lng din because my phone was off (low batt! buiset!) so it was okay. i was hanging out in my kingdom the whole night upto 6:30 with dream. oh he is so cute.. even if i didn't drink that night, i was drunk with all the hugs i received from him. we were fooling around and i got to hug him and he hugs me back..(dreams do come true!) WOOHOO!

Friday (January 30, 2004) - Battle of the Bands. i ahd to cut class becaus ei had to attend a cultural concert but i didn't attend. i just told the president to sing me up. so he did. thanks HERSHEY! so i hanged out the whole time in GP. this is not Glorietta Pour(long story! tell you some other time)... Green Place... had one bottle of beer.

just one!

i miss those nights when there were practices at my place for the bandfest. i miss the stage. the crowd and the music. i only hear them in my player. the shouts and cheers. i really cant resist. i can't stop cheering. when the band started to shout at the top of my lungs - I love you _____________(the band members) even if i don't know them. and i would shout it out loud when the band is setting up their equipments. it was so much fun. but i was so sad when the band i was cheering for didn't win. i actually cheered for everybody but the guys i knew didn't.

it was so much fun. it has been a very long time since i have shouted like that... except when i see cockroaches... they're just yucky!!!

Saturday (January 31,2004) - ROTC time. it was tiring actually we were soaked under the sun for two hours and we wwere taught by the officers to from our company and march around the field. but the most tiring part was the drop. we had to drop in the very muddy field without doing anything.

it was just tiring. when i got home. i sleep. when i woke up. i slept.

Sunday (February 1, 2004) - tiring. i just slept the whole day.

one thing. i wasnted to share that a friend of mine told me someone is admiring me because i can hangout with the boys... she meant that i was one-of-theboys type of person. that i could hangout with boys alone. and even if im the only girl i could still enjoy myself. i don't know why but im just more comfortable with them. not that being with the girls isn't omfortable but i mean im just used to with the boys. i can realte to them and play with them and fool around with them if i have to. i just can interact witht hem without worries...

no insecurities. not like other girls out there who has to impress pa guys to get to be close to them. what a waste of time noh!...

well just want to share that. but i was thinking of something my cousin, lola and i had talked about last week.

its about the abortion and the adoption. i told them that i was okay with it abortion. i mean just kill the child if you're going to give them away when they are out here already. i not saying im going to kill my baby if i had one. i'm just saying if you decide to give birth to the baby, be sure you will not give them away. i mean the hild has the right to be with their real parents. it will not be really easy for the child to grow up without the presence of their birth parents.

i just can't help but think of the stories whatsoever i have heard and so in the movies.

it was dreadful for the hild who has grown up knowing that she is with her parents bnut knowing that he not. that they are not the real ones. it was just sad that they had to be confronted with such pain because of one simple mistake of giving away your baby.

i just don't like the idea of giving away babies. i gave birth and he/she is mine. he/she is my blood and skin and i can't understand how some parents could handle letting other people take care of their babies.

because in reality, people can't afford to take care of the baby. okay. reason accepted. i just wished you planned before doing a deed that brought about the baby in the first place.

i can't really say. i mean. if the time comes that i would have a baby. i wouldn't really know what i would do. but if you think about it. i would never really give my baby away. i would maybe kill it if its only like a dot inside me.

all im saying is...

"practice safe sex"

but if you can't do that.

don't do sex at all!!!!

Friday, January 23, 2004

nothing really...

the day hasn't been exciting. i went to school and studied. eat hangout and chill! the main purpose of my existence in school.

good day!

Thursday, January 22, 2004

kung hei fat choi!

Happy new year to the chinese society out there. i'm actually part chinese but we don't celebrate chinese new year. pero what i love about chinese new year is the rice cake. here it is called tikoy. heaven.. pero baka tumaba pa ko lalo! im trying to work out... i mean not go to the gym pero work out something to make my body fit enough!!! ahahah... impossible... but i know i can do it...

so many people are inviting me to parties they are having and i one wasn't gonna stop so, chloe, a very close friend, picked me up and put me the drinking chamber!! drinking again! and again! everybody was drinking but they were trying to get me drunk! but they failed! so i went home and now im using the computer. im just filling out this page... i just want to tell you guys what other small things had happen to me today. right after my 4:10pm class, i waited for james (boyfriend of San) in my kingdom. hahaha and i know i was bound to sing a lot. and i did! so when he got there. we got to talk about stuff.. and stuff.. hahaha and we left by 7:00pm. i did sing a lot. people come and go. and i was there... and people came back and i was still there. what a life. HARI NG TAMBAY!

new yeaR! what will my resolution be? i don't know. i can't be certain. hindi ako pwede magsalita ng tapos


it was the craziest day. i went to school early because i had to take an iteo test (reading comprehension), which i didn't finish by the way because i stopped when i was in my 2nd to the last question to look for my watch and find out how many minutes i have left. *krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrng* time was up. bwahaha...

i still had lots of time before my first class starts. i have no more load and the only place i know is the library. and of course friends of mine are staying there studying for accounting (i failed the very first quiz today). i had to go somewhere not to crowded and closed. i am suffocating there. but in my kingdom. the air is fresh and the ambiance is very friendly for the morning.

it was weird. i didn't sing a song in my kingdom. not a single song. it was a miracle. i just drank my morning coffee. i wanted to see 'dream' buit i saw him when i was on my way to class. just after i put my bag in san's car. we went straight to class because we don't want to be late. ah crap! i don't want to attend class but i have to! i need to bring myself in place. get my scores up high.

the day - tiring! the 2-hour break wasn't enough for watching "My Sassy Girl". We didn't even get to the good part. But we had to leave. it was our accounting test. and we didn't want to be late as always. so as always, i didn't get anything right. i didn't even know if i scored anything from the identification part. it was horrible. i can't even understand how the journalizing goes. pathetic! i shouldn't have cut classes. buit even if i did attend the class. i would be so drunk, i wouldnt understand anything too.

Whacked! i went to glorietta. i hitched in san's ride and i went all the way to glorietta to eat then go home. i just wanted to go somewhere. i wanted to see some friend of mine, but unfortunately, that some friend doesn't want to see me. it's hard. when all of a sudden, you lost contact of a very close friend. you would miss him/ her so much. just a single day without talkin' or chattin' with the person - would kill you. its like a whole year, whatsoever time, that you have been apart. what more if you're not just friends. it would be very hard to lovers to be apart even for a second. i wonder?

i was just thinking... what if something happens to me... whatb if i die tonight. i didn't have the chance to say i love you to the one i love (i haven't found you!), to the people i love, family and friends. who will cry? who would lock themselves up in their rooms and mourn. what would people do? will the "cry" indicate friendship? i wish that those people i consider as friends would cry just a little teardrop. i don't intend to be the cause of pain. but i just want to know... who are my friends? who are my true friends?

i once wrote:
friends are there when i have money
friends are there when i am happy
but now i'm broke, i can't see their faces
now i'm lonely, i ask, "Why are my friends hiding from me?"
is it just my wealth you're after?
are you just a friend for laughter?
can i count on you to be here beside me?
will you be a friend for eternity?

i was just a kid when i wrote this. but i feel that some friendsa re not really friends. i know who... i just want to see... but if i'm wrong, i'm so sorry. it's just how you show this it to me.

crazy days give me crazy ideas. crazy, ain't it? i just wonder. am i crazy?

"to be or not to be. that is the question."


Saturday, January 17, 2004

the long day is over

how can i say that the day is over? do i need to say something? i mean oh well. this day was very tiring. i wake up, took a bath, dressed up and went to school. i stayed in school from 10:20 - 7:00pm. 8 hours and 40 minutes, i was running here and there inside the school campus. butbut half the time, that i was there, i was hanging out in my kingdom.

i had a very good lunch. it was a good lunch. not only does my wallet still has something in it, but also does my stomach full and tight. bsta. i was solved by 57 pesos. 1 bartburger, 1 jumbo burger a juice and a song, it felt like heaven! heaven to me. i kept thinking if i get someone to be with during the times i want to eat in BM (Burger Machine - place to go when you are saving money or if you dont have money at all), even if its far away, i could really save up. hah!!! this is something to think about. or maybe!!!! i should just bring my own food everyday.!!!

we have our ROTC tomorrow. and it bugs me that i have to wake up early again tomorrow to go to school. it bums me big time that we would be under the sun for 6 hours... actually not our platoon (we are just the regular guys! people don't care about us.. not a bad thing! at all!). we stay at the classroom and burn our butts until the we check our attendance in the field again and leave. hahhahahahah! i think it is really a waste of time to go to school and do that program. i don't know why they still implement that law... as i said, it is a law! so what can we do about it? even if we have the right to question that law??? as many people did, to take the program away, we will still fail. as to the governemtn it is an obligation. hahaha! obligation my ass. whatever!

i was watching this film, "il mare"(means 'the sea'), when i remembered recent events in the recent life in the recent recent recent!!!! it is a long story? 'i will tell you a long story. can i trust yoU!!!???' *sniff* *sniff* *sniff*

happy birthday tito villy! i hope you have many more birthdays to come... it is the birthday of my cousin's father, tito villy. they're our neighbor so when i got home from school, they invited me over to eat dinner. i was alone eating but it was fine. siomai, shanghai rolls, hicken, pancit... i was solved again!. i catched up with them when they were playing MONOPOLY. i was chatting with ate chri about the LRT and MRT. hahaha sana pwede na tyo magsabay sa LRT. mas masaya... wish ko lang!

the day is almost over. i have to sleep early. for tomorrow is another long day. hahaha catch ya'll when i catch ya'll!

Friday, January 16, 2004

starting with a new

everybody has to start somewhere...

i just got home from school 9:00 in the evening with all the thought in my head of surfing the net. i was hoping to catch someone in the messenger. to find five former classmates of mine from St. Theresa's College.

we started conversing about love and love and love... many thoughts, many experiences shared. then we ended up having the group of singles... blog, friendster, e-group, mail, we have made one for our group. we are commemorating our singlehood. that even if we are single we enjoy life as it is and enjoy being single. its not an abnormality. it will come and time will tell.

it is true. we singles are sometimes your savior. without us, you won't have those people you can run to when you have problems with your partner, kung gusto niyo ng date and desperate to find one. here we are!

we are not jealous. actually its much better because we have to get ourselves into the thinking... what we really want and what we need. we coud prepare for the person who we could share things with. when it's time, it's time. no matter how bumpy the road will get, it will!

we have converse about it. i kept thinking. would this be singles for life? would there be anybody? so soulmates are not true? because if anyone, out there is for me, why hasn't he came to save me from this treacherous world.

moving on! the time has come to forget the past and think of the present. don't think about the future because it will only make your head hurt. pain, pain, pain, pain!

"life is a road, i want to keep going. love is a river, i want to keep rowing. life is a road, now and forever. wonderful journey. in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning."

Thursday, January 15, 2004

shout at the top my voice....

have you ever felt the urge to shout when you're so pressured of the happenings around you. its so hard not to see feel that burst in your heart. lidsuabdcldasjcnwli;euhfwnc lwuic;wajke clawhc;woai cwqb delau awdjncfeqwhgc'awoedichewjdb...

i really want to shout at the top of my voice. but i really can't. even if i wanted to. people will hear me and they would be asking me and i would be telling them my problem and it would result to crying and crying and crying. i really don't want that. my eyes hurt already. i've been crying my eyes out since monday and my eyes is not that swollen but it really hurts. it's like i've not slept for a whole week.

if you look at it closely. i don't want people to call me selfish but it would be very painful for both sides if it will continue. long-distance does not work that well. it is really hard. i know. i've been there and i don't think can do it again. pero if i don't know, i really can't say something. i couldn't end my statement because at times like this never does it happen that there is a repetition of situations. i couldn't get myself to type it and give out all the emotions inside of me. i just couldn't get it out of my system.

have you ever thought of this... my friend posted in our groups the question "is love for you?" have you given a thouht to this. when will it really come. when it will stay? who will it be? how will it happen? will it ever come? we don't know. well its for us to find out... i once said that if you want to know the taste of the food, you have to find it out yourself.

think about it. i am still thinking too.!!!!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

life must go on...

i have news. i think i would "never had a dream come true. till the day that i found you. even though, i pretend that i've moved on. you'll always be my baby" hehehe. it has been a day of misery yesterday for me. i'll continue it later.
peace out!

My inner child is six years old today

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

i think it was the six year old me who dictated that it should end. i had my reasons and it doesn't really matter.

January 12, 2004
early in the morning, my friend picked me up and we talked from then. there is really nothing to share. the fact that we are still friends is enough. that is enough. i wanted to feel happy but still, i can't make out the smile i use to have in face all the time. well time will come. i'll be fine. it won't be easy to forget. why should i? even if there are bad time, i have learned from them and it made me different. I told a friend that i can do it again but i think i can never be a martyr like before. i have done it once and i don't think i should do it again. he yold me, to follow my heart. bullshit. i an never hear my heart beat again. its very hard to find someone that would make you smile and just view life with much happiness. what more could i ask for a friend.
almost everybody who have heard the news, consoled me in different, yet comforting way. Yot, nicky, trish, chloe, raise, chet, mike, and enzo hugged me. Reden, dove,san, nicole, jc, joel, ange, and zaza gave me advices. they were very helpful. but i'm very thankful for reden. he has gave me the strenght to do what i really have to do. the people who gave me the hug, did this without question. they approached me and gave it to me when i really needed it. i've realized i have friends who loves me and i love back. i love you guys! i really wanted to cry but no tear has fallen again since that very morning.. thankful as i am. but i wanted to shed tears. it would make the pain go away if th etears gushed from my eyes down my face and into my hanky. but no, i am still numb. numb numb numb

love is blind. as far as the eyes can see. deep and meaningless. words to me. easy lover, i need a friend. road to nowhere. twist and turns but will this ever end. love will always flourish. it doesn't go away. it is hidden. there is pain because there is love and if there is love automatially there is pain. a friendly reminder: to love is something extraordinary. to be inflicted with pain is something you sacrifice for something extraordinary.

January 13, 2004
another ordinary school day. but it is not quite ordinary. i ahve spent 1000 bucks for this day. but not for food. for something different and shocking - school books and supplies. i'm gonna get that money back. well everything was in place. we had our classes, i ate, i hanged out in agno, and i started to like economics. whoa! something different.? yes! i have liked this lass since today. but i don't know until when. maybe it's just the topic of discussion - Maroeconomics (geek!!!), maybe its because it wasn't too animating like our economic lass before. not that i'm complaining but to tell you guys the truth. even if i got 2.5 = 80-84, i still didn't understand anything from that class. we all had our laughs but that was all. i could remember those stories but never the lessons. it was sad because he was a very good teacher... maybe it was me... we don't know.

i was thinkin' what if joel is right. what if "pare" would happen.?? NAH!!! that won't! you know why. because it won't. enough said! i can tolerate whatever teasing you give me. i don't care.

i missed my old self. i've been very sentimental these past two days. and i don't really like acting this way. i want the wacky kat!!!! i want her back!!! soon!!! it will take someone... DREAM... it will take something... DREAM... it take everything... DREAM. it will take DREAM... for me to go back to normal. take care people!!!

Sunday, January 11, 2004

some things can really be depressing

I am Spongebob!

Which Spongebob Squarepants Character Are You?

this made me happy. even if im still a little depressed... ill tell you everything. its just not yet sure.

whatever happens... i will do the best i an to still be the me you know.

Saturday, January 10, 2004

day full of dirt! (leaning my room)

the new look for my room in the year 2004. it was mum's idea, to clean-up my room and i have filled up an entire trash bag with all the papers i have compiled during this school year in DLSU. i didn't realize my room is a living library of handouts, copied notes (xerox). and books (xerox). it is really one of my problem. i am always having a hard time throwing things away like my first and last perfect test in COMATH1 and everything. i put sentiments on it so i couldn't just throw it away. and sometimes, it may be of help in the futures to come.

when i was in fourth year highschool. i was part of the crative writing classes. it was my elective and i really had fun. i became almost close to other batchmates who barely know. (not really my thing) and i got close to a friends "beach". in one of our class, as an assignment, we had to write an essay about what i need that could have help in me and in the country. it goes a little something like this: blah blah blah.. having a a robot who is almost exactly like me. but doesn't have the heart. so they could do things for me. like my personal yaya! harhar. bsta. it went somehow. the professor kinda liked the idea! harhar. (this is just a very opinionated opinion).

back to the real story, i was shocked at the dust at the bak of the computer, boxes and other stuff in my room. it was full of dust rabbits. (the one in the lizzie mcguire show) well ewe! my room has been a complete nightmare. i couldn't lean-up all day so i decided to take break from it and wandered around the house and in the other houses and played badminton outside. something to do that wont let all the fat from the food i've eaten to be stuck in my body forever. in short to burn the fats! haha now i have been sneezing with all the dusts i have encountered during the day, i can feel all the dirt in my nose. just don't picture it. it doesn't look good. it make you barf big time!

i have taken a break again ang mama started telling me to clean up again. the very big problem why i couldn't clean up is because i don't know where i should put the stuff i have cleaned when it is clean already. my roon is so small to move the furniture around. some cabinets just dont fit. it gets worst. i still have my TV set in the box. i couldn't use it unless i have cleaned the whole room. without leaving any sign of spiderweb or dust spots. the very big box has taken all the space in the room so i have to move the box everytime i want to get something or when i want to go out of the room or i want to change or anything.

i don't have my privacy from the things i do inside my room like change in some dress or outfit. there would be times when i'm all naked somebody would just barge in and not even have the decency to knock on the door. it is just really hard for me. i would really like to put cement on the other door (the one connecting my room to my parents). that is why i have an idea. lola rosie is a very weak person already, and she couldn't go upstairs fast. she is having ahard time going to her room. so if papa would make lola a room in the first floor. i woul djust get lola's room and turn it into mine. it would be better because it's bigger and i would really have the privay i want. but because that is MY idea. nobody would ever know. my thoughts never count in this family. whatever! later!

Friday, January 09, 2004

break, break, break (sorry for the delay)

three classes and a break:

something unusual happened today - i came to school early not having a good reason to be early. the moment i openned my eyes, i went straight to the bathroom and dressed up as fast as i can (in my pj, white shirt, flappyflappy - total sleeping outfit), but not knowing it will look like that. without a doubt, my dad scolded me like any other day that he sees me in a shirt without a collar. beause that's the rule. i can't leave the house with wearing something without a collar, that is not a school attire. what is? office attire?... that's why people perceive me as a very mature person.. with all the crap i get during the early morning. i went to school one and a half hour earlier than my class that starts at 9:40. what a waste. but i couldn't take all the crap i get when im at home. it a very confidential story and i an't mention anything (but in time).

i had my last song to be sung in my kingdom. SAN (my buddy), was with me and we will go to our different classes after that last song. we were savoring it's every tune when the bell rang. so we had our first class and from my kingdom to LS (where i will be staying all my college life. the other end of the world) the class moved to miguel (just around the corner) to watch an introductory video for ENGLONE. and because there will changes in our teacher. we were dismissed after the 20-minute video. and so my 2-hour break starts with an extension of an hour because an hour of ENGLONE class remains. Amabel and I waited for Nix to arrive. it took her a 2 hours to arrive school and i met her alone in agno and the first thing i asked her, "how traffic was traffic?" then we went to venue to play a little billiards. and minute passed, we didn't realize it was already time. all in all it wasnt a bad boring break. i have accomplished a lot of things but it was bad for my pocket. it was left with nothing.

COMP2AE is the next best class. we had check our mails, logged on to site and stuff, when the teacher (Mr. See, the same guy) arrived, we all hooted and shouted fro joy because he was a very nice teacher. because he was our teacher, he just interviewed some other students not from our block. then we were off again leaving us a thirty minute break again where i could just get a sneak peek in my kingdom if "dream" is there. And he was. and some other friends... like honey (ang pinagkakamalan), JC (intphil guy), some other goks friends. and off i am to my last class....

Save the best for last... ECONONE is out last class. the teacher again was late for like 10 minutes and he just grouped us we laid us the classroom rules and we were off. We were free! dismissed at last! and you can just guessed where i went to. yes youa re very right - my kingdom!

it was worth it. every minute of it was for keeps. my eyes, my tummy, my heart and whole body was satisfied. the siomai was great. dream was great. i couldn't think of anything else. what could i have possibly wish for that i don't have. we know that. but it couldn't happen because of some friend. but it was okay. dream will come true and in time.

in conclusion i had 4 hours of break and with everything that happened it was worth it. i say it was worth it, baby! and i know its for keeps.

pero i was thinking what have i done. why does everybody say that i've fallin deeply in love with dream? it a hefty estimate for me to say that i've fallin' in love with dream. i know it's just an infatuation... i'm just fond of him being all that wacky and funny all the time. and besides i've yet to experience it myself. like i always say, "to feel is to believe", and i don't feel anything. so there is really nothing. kaya to the people in agno. please do not spread the rumors. it will affect my image. it will destroy my reputation. and it would be hard to change it. like echo whose image is the "manggugulo", he is known like that before the people even know his first name. i don't want to have a hard time changing an image.

harhar. from all the break, break break. one things for sure i know i'm happy! shalala! it's so nice to be happY! everybody should be happy!! shalala! happy! happy! happY!

i am pissed

i have types my suppose to be my longest blog yet. but with my computer being this P5000 worth only. the internet got diconnected when i was publishing it and didn't reover any post... SHITHEAD. i should've learned from past and still im doing it all over again. im just going to continue my "break, break, break" story when i'm all awake.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

break, break, break

the topic for today is 3 subjects and a break. my subjects for today started at 9:40. but as early as 8am. i got to school one hour and a half earlier than my class because i don't want to stay home with all the blah blah blah here, and blah blah blah there. the moment i openned my eyes, i went straight to the bathroom and dressed up as fast as i can(my pjs, plain white shirt, and flappyflappy), but without knowing it. and my dad, without a doubt, scolded me again. for the nth time.

from agno, san (blockmate) and i harrassing ourselves to LS (the end of the world) where our class is. but the room was changed beause we were to watch an orientation / introduction on ENGLONE. and right after the short video, we were dismissed already. but because our class was divided into two (this subject only), half of them went back to their respective classroom. while amabel and i went to agno to wait for nix to arrive from the traffic. because nix took so long to arrive we still hanged out at SJ walk (cute-guy-spotted). there were none!. i left amabel and met up with nix and the first thing i asked her was, "how traffic was traffic!?". it was horrible. she arrived 2 hours after she left the house.. we ate siomai (so cheap, so yummy!) and ended playing billiards. and i, in onclusion had my three hours of break.

COMP2AE is my next class and our teacher (See, the same guy) was as always late, and after telling us what we would expect in this class, we were dismissed. the whole time he was talkin', i was checkin my mail (yahoo and hotmail). thank god i have openned at last my hotmail account. it was full already i wasnt receiving any messages since december 26. exxag!!!!all my mails bounced. so whoever sent me something. i'm very sorry i didn't get the chance to read your mail.

another 30-minute break for me in my kingdom. but i couldn't be late for my next class so pulled one song and savored every tune of it. it was worth it!!!

my last class and i'm off. hahaha. the teacher (Dr. Raymundo) was late and when he got there, the silence was deafening. you can even hear a pin drop to the floor. just asked us to group ourselves, gave us an assignment, and laid the classroom rules. and we were off. what a relief that they didn't start to discuss anything. ECONONE was over.

the day was over, 3:30 and my break added up to 4 hours all in all. it wasn't that bad for me. but it was for my pocket. it was all because dream. he was there... hahaha. he was all! i was okay! dream was there, i was there. dream went to class, so did i. dream went home, so did we.

joel, echo and i sung our last song in the kingdom and straight home. the moment i stepped in the house. i saw the food in the dining table, so i ate dinner so i could try to finish my assingment in accounting. but sadly, i couldn't get myself in place. to hold a pen and a 10-column worksheet and start the review exercise we were given. i really couldn't. i will just copy someone else's assignment tomorrow. i have all the time in the world. i have a 2-hour break everyday of the week. and i hate this sched of mine. i just didn't feel like adjusting anymore because it was really hard lining up in the office and knowing there the class you wanted to adjust into is closed. blah blah blah! i would just force myself to take it for the passing grade. to finish it and not fail. whatever. i wish we had our sched the last two terms. it was a nie one. not that much breaks and its halfday either the in the morning of in the afternoon. next term, i would definitely pick a subject which starts early and ends early. thank god next year we wouldn't have PE and ROTC. that would be taking out thorns from my throat.

well all i did was tell mystory. well because that is the purpose of this site. all about me, me, me, me, me, and me alone. but tell you something. when i hear something really funny or sad that you guys should know about. i'll tell you as soon as possible. well i gotsta go. catch you later.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

blisters on my feet

the day ended with my feet aching because i've walked from amorsolo st. to dela rosa st. and back. my feet wasn't used to all the long walking with my sandals.

pero the truth is... the day wasn't that boring at all. i went to finish fixin' my educational plan papers this afternoon and it went like hell. my mum and i waited for an hour just to be called and having to sit again because they atteched it to the wrong paper... sadly it was mine.

i was strollin around greenbelt until i went back to CAP. walking..... walking... walking... my feet hurts like hell.. i wanted to take a cab but it wasn't that far. i was just tired of all the things i've been doing during the break. i didn't buy anything because.. i only have 500 bucks in my pocket... what can i buy...

i shouldn't spend much these days.. i have to get my organ back. (9700 golden money!!!)... and because my unhealthy habit... (doodie! harhar!) one big number! dont ask. even if i have lots of oh-my-god-i-want-to-buy-that-things, i shouldn't. coz i have to pay up... im all drained... tomorrow is our first day... and i don't want to go to school. but just one factor urges me to... the dream.... baby face with oh my god those dimples. uuuuhhhhh! cute talaga. see you sa agno, dream!!!!!!

i need to go to sleep. i have to wake up early because as always i am slow.... slow... slow...

last day of the break

nothing has yet to happen. so hold to your knickers... am still about to embark on a very boring day ahead of me... later!

because everywhere it's jammed..... and in the end... there will be happy endings!

today was the first day of my brother back to school... hahaha. ramon, miguel and JL, had to sleep and wake up early so they won't be late. oh god i don't miss those days. when you would wake up in the morning feeling so damn tired and use some lame excuse so that you won't go to school. act like you're sick or something like that... never fails me... it works everytime.

while i was dragged early in the morning to go to school to enroll my ass off.... well i got there not later than 11am. and i was shoked on how the accounting office was full and had to accept the fact that i wont finish working for my school papers... so i deided to bum my way to agno (my kingdom!!!)... until lunch time was getting near. so i decided to get my big butt out of agno and into the long line of the registrar. in matter of time... the line was gone. i didn't have a hard time... but when i got into the accounting. boredom!!!!!!!!! desperate need to go out again.. so i just waited for my O.R. and went staright to agno again... so i could see my true love (dream). he was there... he said to "i love you" twice... do you the feeling of being speechless. i am always like that when he say very shocking lines to me... hahaha he is so cute that dream of mine!!!!

i went to fix my educational plan papers an because i dont have a ride. so a friend picked me up and we went to the mall for a while after going to CAP. then he dropped me off at my dad's job site... end of the day... im safe at home... harhar

Sunday, January 04, 2004

new year. new thing.

do you believe in love?
at first in was in the state of whatever! love is not forever. it will come and go. and it will leave your heart burning in all the depression and angst. but that is all a maybe. i am not an expert just a mere spectator of love. i haven't experience it but i was in a dream about it. i felt really good...

.....zzzzzz..... i so pappy in agno with some of my friends.... he was so cute... he is really a dream...

i am totally in love. i try to hide it but i cant. i am nice and pritty in my own way and i am a bit of a daydreamer myself.

today was so boring. i couldn't help but just surf around the net. so bored thaT i went to to take some test and find out some not-so-important-but-you-need-to-know-somehow stuff....

and here are the results.

which male celebrity i would end up marrying?
Elijah Wood
Please rate this quiz I worked hard on it thanks
and I hope that you had fun

What Celebirty are you going to MARRY?!(14 outcomes with pics for anyone)
brought to you by Quizilla

what type of drink am i?
You like it fast and strong and you drink for one reason: to get piss-ass drunk!
Congratulations!! You're a shot of some good old
hard liquor!

What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

what type of ice cream?
strawberry. not too sweet, not too sour. GO YOU

which harry potter character am i?
dumbledore, you are the greatest. voldemort is afraid of you.

which spongebob charater am i?
U r Mr. Krabs, u really care bout money, money, and money, but it is okay cause then u could get rich, and famous (yah right), good luck!~

which F-R-I-E-N-D-S character are you?
Your Rachel!!!

what F-R-I-E-N-D-S character r u?
brought to you by Quizilla

sex and the city quiz?
You are Samantha!  You're sexy, sassy and a bit of a slut!  You're older than you look and you have certainly lived!  Men don't have any power over you, you're the one in control%
You are Samantha! You're sexy, sassy and a bit of
a slut! You're older than you look and you
have certainly lived! Men don't have any power
over you, you're the one in control and you
love to show then who's boss! Deep down though
you are searching for true love.

"A 'Sex and the City' quiz"
brought to you by Quizilla

worst hangover ever. when my mum and i got back from MOntalban (her hometown). as we celebrated New Year with her side of the family, i had finished the whole bottle of tequila and climbed my way upstairs.. it was really hard... a climb to remember... harhar... when i woke up, i couldn't move my feet, my arms, my legs, my whole body except my lovely fingers. my head aches like some prick is trying to put some curse on me. i hate it... when i had the strength to stand up. i got to my pills and had taken three Advil! it was such a relief. advil really works for me. i don't know where i'd be without them.

i'm so bored. i have turned down every party where i was invited. they were a lot. even if most people will start their school tomorrow, they still organize parties... they will conduct it in boracay.... all expenses paid. damn you rich kids, cavite, laguna... i mean they are all so far from my house. if only... *dreaming*

even if my cousins and my brothers are having the garage sale. i can't take myself out there and help. sorry about that. im just not in the mood. and i'm kinda lazy these days... sana we could just to some place else where we could sell those things and youn know, we could even sell them at a higher price. and earn a much bigger number. oh well. don't mind me. i'm just bored.

bored bored bored... this is the first time in my whole life that i wanted to go bak to school... its just that i like being in school. not the fact that i want to study but... in school i have so much fun i forget everything and just think about the present... i don't think about what would happen. now, when i don't have anything to do, i just try picturing myself in the future. or the if situations... just to ghet my mind of the blank! it makes me feel that i'm dumb or something. that i don't have anything in my head, i don't have the brains. i dont' have a life.....
happy birthday to my dearest zaza. harhar. zaza is my kadaeveryday friend. she is currently studying in benilde. and lastnight she, celebrated her debut.

the place was full of famous people from hollywood (we wish!) Relatives and friends came in glitz and glamour. and everybodyw as there to celebrate the wonderful evening and give joy to zaza's being here for 18 years. --->full of crap!!!!!

you could say that it was a reunion for some of our classmates. since the last time (i can't remember when), this was again the first time we meet. it was really fun. we get to tell zaza how we really love her. she's our friend that we would never forget. i didn't bring my camera so i'll just ask for copies of the picture after tonight. whenever!

for us, we had to show a video to zaza that we have been doing since forever. at first i didn't care about it, but because i was zaza's closest, i was given the responsibility of i tell - EVERYTHING! well it was okay as long as it's for zaza. but her sister! uuh!... oh well. long story!... all i can say is she's not the birthday girl. and the gift is not for her... thats all in the past...

the video took 20 minutes full of meesges from her friends that i have interviewed. commentaries from us.. and her pictures. na ginawa naming MTV. basts ool sha... may boring na part lang talaga para sa kin. kasi i have watched it 5 times and i edited it pa. i was drowned in zaza's everything. pictures. pictures. pictures. pictures.

the night was young and we started dancing when the music was turned on... we didn't stop until all got home. as ong as the music was up. we had fun in short.

happy birthday zaza!!!! love you!

Thursday, January 01, 2004

harhar. it was a nice talk. i hope it will be forever.
something to write about

It's been a while since i last logged-in here. I have lots to share from the sadness to the joys of life.

last Sepetember, mika and paolo got back together. two good friends of mine. they got back together... cute story... a week after. Paolo goes ballistic over a family friend of mika and paolo breaks up with her. makes her pay for the necklace he gave her.

Its was so insensitive of him. he gave it to mika and then lets her pay for it. what a real jerk. if i will have a boyfriend like that.. thanks! but no thanks... it doesn't matter how cute he is, but if he is a big booger like that. blech!@!@!

Actually i can't express myself with their story because its a very hefty estimate. i've yet to experience it myself like fallin' in love. just hearing, reading stories like that it makes me cry for so long and i just want to kill the person because it reaLLY HURTS. . It's bad that she gave him another chance even if they're almost the perfect couple before. and if ever i had the oppotunity to bring back time... I would have just told them to stay as friends. it would be better that way. i am not an expert on these types of situation, i speak for my own opinion on what i see and in what i conclude from those...

It really sucks. In school, it has been very busy but with all my new friends, it's been a blast... My friends are great and school has been hard and all. at least i have experienced the whole lot of it.

so all-in-all my life has been meaningful. I have been learning alot from my experiences. it's much better to be very close friends than having the commitment. because there will be no way that you will hurt each other's feelings. And in school. i should be friendly. and not be a snob. because it's so much of relief to have lots of frineds to go to when you're down and tell your stories and secrets to. to confide to and treasure forever...

... the long day is over and you will have them there to listen to you. tiring as it is. you talk to them over the phone and tell stories to each other and share laughters to one another...
[ Tue May 06, 01:53:00 AM | katrina pastor | edit ]
i can't take it... every guy wearing a cap that sits next to me or is beside, i get nervous. I remember the incident that happened recently and i can't help but wonder how stupid i am not to check the door locks.

May 2, 2003 (Friday)
Lola, my cousin and i went to a party in J.P. Rizal. It all went well. During the book browsing in fully booked (former PAGEONE store in Powerplant). The desert in Icebergs Jupiter. Then all of sudden because of a single stupidity, i almost got robbed. We were driving along Osmena Highway when a White Pajero stops and wanted to change lanes. The door then opens and i thought 'why open now, we have been driving for almost 15 minutes now.'. As i reached for the door a man wearing a cap just tried to get my phone. I was holding it tightly and i don't want to let go. He didn't have the chance to get my phone. I lost my strength and power over everything. I couldn't breath normally and i was left speechless.

... i was traumatized... i can't think of anything else other than that.

Now everytime I'm inside the car. i never forget to check the locks again. I'm afraid that it will happen again. And I'm just lucky that that man didn't have a knife or a gun with him. Because if he did, he would have stabbed me or shot me dead... I can't let him do that. I still have lots of things to accomplish like school. and lots of things to prove to my mum and my dad...
and i think i hate them both!!!

May 5, 2003 (Monday)
It's the day of my enrollment in De La Salle University. My mum told me days before to finish everything i need for the enrollment. I did what she told me. I wasn't really excited and i was tired. i haven't slept well. Well we were there and there was a very long line for getting just one piece of paper. It was hot and hot and hot and HOT!!!! I finished the first step and off we went to the next. I told my mum to tell me everything i needed to do but she didn't. We went on and on until got pissed at each other we almost shouted at one another. She made me pay for my p.e. uniform and she should have gave me money. I hate her....
Then today when we were eating lunch with the whole family, my mum told the very nice experience we had during the enrollment. My dad now reacted that if i'm pissed with simple problems, might as well not go to school and just work in Jollibee.!!! the hell with him!!!. he talks and talks and talks and he doesn't do anything. He just lectures me about life but he doesn't show how to do it. because he doesn't know!!!
He thinks he knows everything but he doesn't. He is not God!! I hate them!!!!!!

Well off i go to the mall and i'm going to shop till i don't have money left in my wallet. I need to to take my mind out of the subject and that is the only way!!!

Almost over but still have to cross the finish line

a few days and term is finally over... but it is still a few days. 3 months ago, my brother made sure i will be enrolled this term. he mad...