Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Friday, June 05, 2009

pagudpud down the drain

i didnt leave because im still a kid with a lollipop in her mouth. my daddy didn't allow me to go. he still treats me like a baby.

i will just act like one.

coz the bitch is back!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

We love you Lola Rosie!

its the 40th day from the death of my lola rosie (my dad's mum). i still cant help but shed tears everytime i think that i would never be able to see her. i know that its been a while since we have talked because of my busy schedule but i regret not spending time with her when i can.

the 40th day? im not sure why we celebrate or get together on the 40th day? why not 100th? or 50th? nevertheless, im glad she's in a better place now. i weep outisde but inside i am happy she lived and i have spent time with her.

she always tells us that coz shes old time comes and she will be gone. i never thought it would be sooner. i never saw myself crying on her coffin. i didnt wanna see her in there. and i dont regret not looking. i never even thought i would be there helping out on the funeral preparations. i ever thought i would be staying all night inside the funeral home, entertaining guests who came and finally i never thought that i would be inside a car following all the other cars bringing her to her final resting place.

we were suppose to go to another coutry this holy week. we were already making plans, booking a flight and the next day. *poof* no more plans.

i remember her alive and happy. i remember her eating and shopping, travelling together to different countries.

we will miss you!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

new number. save it

Hi all! I have changed my number. pls save it so you can still contact me if you want to. lol 09174693085. send urs so i can keep in touch. or if you have sun save this as well 09233825356. See you when i see you!

Monday, March 23, 2009

even angels fall

You've found hope
You've found faith,
Found how fast she could take it away.
Found true love,
Lost your heart.
Now you don't know who you are.

She made it easy,
Made it free,
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.
Sometimes it stops,
Sometimes it flows,
But baby that is how love goes.

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.

It's a secret no one tells;
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.
It's no fairy tale;
Take it from me,
That's the way it's supposed to be.

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.

You laugh, you cry, no one knows why
Behold the thrill of it all...
You're on the ride
You might as well
Open your eyes

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
Even angels fall
Even angels fall

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Coffee Post

I keep thinking... why am I alone right this very minute? I'm not really a loner but it is always nice to find time alone with myself. But not all the time. I keep proving to myself that I'm just happier when I'm not.

Work has kept me to my feet but when work is over, I don't feel like going home coz home is too quiet even if I'm too tired, I get too bored. I don't have weekends off coz I always find ways to get me out of the house. Or ways to work on something. To earn more so I can spend more. (I think I'm like the girl in the green scarf). And of course I still want to continue on my purpose of working. To earn more, to save more for my own business.

All I can talk about is work. Theres nothing too special or extraordinary or spectacular or exciting that is happening to my life. I just pretend that it is so I would feel better when I'm having a hard time really.

So I'm reading this book and its actually taking me longer than usual to read it. Its not that its a boring book, im actually liking the way Paolo Coelho has written this one (The Witch of Portobello). It says in that book that extroverts are unhappier than introverts. They are putting too much effort in proving to themselves that they are happier people than the others. I can say im like that too. If you're an extrovert, and people know you to be too jolly, when a moment that you keep quiet they will notice that you are a bit sadder or lonelier than usual.

Isn't it sad that you have to prove to yourself that you are happy. When you can feel happy and contented with what you have. What if God has really planned for you to be alone right now. The two girls beside me are together studying for a PHYSIO (I guess its physiology). Then in front of me there are to people chatting away. Then beside them, the table is occupied by old Chinese dudes that are too noisy and has been sitting in the coffeeshop (The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf) for more than two hours. Just like me. But I am alone. I haven't talked to any real person except over the phone. I woke up my friend so I can talk to someone and amuse myself or just a little while

Now im blogging about the day and how I came to realize I have fewer friends than before. Fewer in a sense that they are leaving the country or busy or with other people. Time has been too fast, just a few years ago, we we're just hanging out together after class or between classes or before class. We're either eating, playing cards, drinking (coffee or alcohol even in the middle of the afternoon), or just sitting around. I miss those days. Whenever im bored, I would just go to the a spot where we always hang out and I would find someone there to chat with. Now, when im bored I have to text everyone I know and ask if they're busy. Now usually the ones I would like to hangout with are busier. And the people I don't have that much stuff in common with are free as a bird. I'm not saying that I don't like them but it is quite obvious for both of us that we would have too many silent moments or awkward pauses. Then I would end up mocking someone that would pass by (making me more evil than I am seconds before the pause). We would get back to talking because of a mockery that I would start. We have to start somewhere right. Then when all else fails or I have given my everything and vice-versa or just given up for that matter. I would talk about work (not really a boring job I have) but for other people who don't understand the whole thing would get bored. Or then the most talked about topic.


Why is this the most talked about topic? Is it really true that everyone can relate to love? I doubt it. There are conversations about love that I don't understand. I may be outspoken and but they're only opinions. They are not based on experience. A person without an experience on the matter doesn't have the right speak about it because they don't understand or have the slightest idea of the situation.

I wouldn't ask for advice from someone who hasn't experience a specific thing or a similar thing even if they are older than I am coz they are not knowledgeable enough to speak about it. As sometimes my friends would ask me about my opinion about something, they shouldn't listen to me. Im not telling them to leave their partners or cheat or whatever. Its just me. I'm not God that everyone should listen to me.

Can u imagine me turning barrels of water to wine? I would imagine myself turning wine into air. Haha I'll drink them all. Thats something everyone would picture me doing instead. Getting back on the subject, whatever the subject is.

I'm not saying im lonely coz I'm not. I'm just looking around and almost everyone is with someone. Nobody is alone. So in their eyes, I may be typing away here (looking too busy when im not), im a just alone.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

bukol sa brief ng security guard (lump inside the brief of security guards)

earlier today, my boss (a new one that i really love) called me up to his table to show me something. his blog has the feature of seeing the keywords of people that led them to his site.

almost all the keywords that they are using were all about love. love? do i know anything about it? but getting back to the topic, one search was this "bukol sa brief ng security guard" (lump inside the brief of security guards). if u go to the site, there is no post like that or anything too malicious for that matter to even link those keywords to the blog.

it is funny how the mind of a person works. u may never know how he feels even if he looks empty or smiling, or sad. u will never know. but it is very fascinating. i wanna know more on how it works.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

the first letters of their names

one of my officemates sent me a text message last friday asking me to describe her using the first letter of my name. K? how can i describe her. i wasn't prepared i didn't reply to the message. but when i sent it to all my friends, to my surprise a lot of them responded immediately.

Paula said - "Panny. you know, like, nakakatawa"
Kaycee said - "Krazy"
Emilyn said - "Epal"
Nuel said - "Nuelable? :P" we both aren't sure whats that suppose to mean
Karla said - "Kyooot hehe"
Edz said - "Engrandeng Ninang :)" shes trying to convince me to buy my inaanak the eating chair
Laurie said - "Lomography?" is that even an adjective?
MJ said - "Malandi" so true
Analyn said - "adorable"
Eden said - "elusive"
Kai said - "Krazy! hihihi"
Katz said - "Krazy! hahaha"
Chisti-anne said - "Cool! hahaha"
G3 said - "gullible"
Paolo said - "panalo!"
Felix said - "Fat!" she believes that honesty is the best policy. and she stands by it.
Aissa said - "abominable. ur super workaholic na." grabe naman to magdescribe parang no life na other than work.
Mon said - "Mucho Dinero" - this one i just don't believe but i wish. coz if i have mucho dinero, i wouldnt have to be a workaholic. so im actually not denying it... haha

so it was really funny, panny as paula has said. people see me krazy... i actually believe them because i really am especially all the time. even in the office itssuper crazy. i dont wanna be too serious because it would make me even more crazy if i am.

work has been very hectic. i have strated writing the blog since 8am this morning and until 4:28pm i haven't even started on anything good to share. i don't think i will ever have something good to share unless i really focus on this blog. but i will start again because it is another day as i haven't even finished this particular paragraph and i guess i have to end it now to start a new one.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

is santa on vacation already?

i have a list of wishes now. is santa on vacation already.? will i have to wait another 361days before i get these gifts...?

they're very simple. not material things.

  • i wish for my cousin to have a safe trip coming home tomorrow
  • i wish for my officemate who has asthma to get well soon
  • i wish for my grandma to stop gossiping
  • i wish for my other cousin to come home
  • i wish all the best in the world for my other cousin who just got engaged
  • i wish for the rest of the family to have peace, love and respect in their hearts
  • i wish for a companion ( can also be a boyfriend)
  • i wish for a good year
  • i wish for a good health
  • i wish to be surrounded by happy people and happy people only
  • i wish to give happiness to others as well

i have been praying for all of this. of course i wanna make sure i get them sooner rather than later. so i wanna make sure i have covered everything. pray to god and wish for santa to grant me these things. coz all i want for christmas is you.. hahaha

Almost over but still have to cross the finish line

a few days and term is finally over... but it is still a few days. 3 months ago, my brother made sure i will be enrolled this term. he mad...