life must go on...

i have news. i think i would "never had a dream come true. till the day that i found you. even though, i pretend that i've moved on. you'll always be my baby" hehehe. it has been a day of misery yesterday for me. i'll continue it later.
peace out!

My inner child is six years old today

My inner child is six years old!


Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

i think it was the six year old me who dictated that it should end. i had my reasons and it doesn't really matter.

January 12, 2004
early in the morning, my friend picked me up and we talked from then. there is really nothing to share. the fact that we are still friends is enough. that is enough. i wanted to feel happy but still, i can't make out the smile i use to have in face all the time. well time will come. i'll be fine. it won't be easy to forget. why should i? even if there are bad time, i have learned from them and it made me different. I told a friend that i can do it again but i think i can never be a martyr like before. i have done it once and i don't think i should do it again. he yold me, to follow my heart. bullshit. i an never hear my heart beat again. its very hard to find someone that would make you smile and just view life with much happiness. what more could i ask for a friend.
almost everybody who have heard the news, consoled me in different, yet comforting way. Yot, nicky, trish, chloe, raise, chet, mike, and enzo hugged me. Reden, dove,san, nicole, jc, joel, ange, and zaza gave me advices. they were very helpful. but i'm very thankful for reden. he has gave me the strenght to do what i really have to do. the people who gave me the hug, did this without question. they approached me and gave it to me when i really needed it. i've realized i have friends who loves me and i love back. i love you guys! i really wanted to cry but no tear has fallen again since that very morning.. thankful as i am. but i wanted to shed tears. it would make the pain go away if th etears gushed from my eyes down my face and into my hanky. but no, i am still numb. numb numb numb

love is blind. as far as the eyes can see. deep and meaningless. words to me. easy lover, i need a friend. road to nowhere. twist and turns but will this ever end. love will always flourish. it doesn't go away. it is hidden. there is pain because there is love and if there is love automatially there is pain. a friendly reminder: to love is something extraordinary. to be inflicted with pain is something you sacrifice for something extraordinary.

January 13, 2004
another ordinary school day. but it is not quite ordinary. i ahve spent 1000 bucks for this day. but not for food. for something different and shocking - school books and supplies. i'm gonna get that money back. well everything was in place. we had our classes, i ate, i hanged out in agno, and i started to like economics. whoa! something different.? yes! i have liked this lass since today. but i don't know until when. maybe it's just the topic of discussion - Maroeconomics (geek!!!), maybe its because it wasn't too animating like our economic lass before. not that i'm complaining but to tell you guys the truth. even if i got 2.5 = 80-84, i still didn't understand anything from that class. we all had our laughs but that was all. i could remember those stories but never the lessons. it was sad because he was a very good teacher... maybe it was me... we don't know.

i was thinkin' what if joel is right. what if "pare" would happen.?? NAH!!! that won't! you know why. because it won't. enough said! i can tolerate whatever teasing you give me. i don't care.

i missed my old self. i've been very sentimental these past two days. and i don't really like acting this way. i want the wacky kat!!!! i want her back!!! soon!!! it will take someone... DREAM... it will take something... DREAM... it take everything... DREAM. it will take DREAM... for me to go back to normal. take care people!!!

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