nothing really...

the day hasn't been exciting. i went to school and studied. eat hangout and chill! the main purpose of my existence in school.

good day!

kung hei fat choi!

Happy new year to the chinese society out there. i'm actually part chinese but we don't celebrate chinese new year. pero what i love about chinese new year is the rice cake. here it is called tikoy. heaven.. pero baka tumaba pa ko lalo! im trying to work out... i mean not go to the gym pero work out something to make my body fit enough!!! ahahah... impossible... but i know i can do it...

so many people are inviting me to parties they are having and i one wasn't gonna stop so, chloe, a very close friend, picked me up and put me the drinking chamber!! drinking again! and again! everybody was drinking but they were trying to get me drunk! but they failed! so i went home and now im using the computer. im just filling out this page... i just want to tell you guys what other small things had happen to me today. right after my 4:10pm class, i waited for james (boyfriend of San) in my kingdom. hahaha and i know i was bound to sing a lot. and i did! so when he got there. we got to talk about stuff.. and stuff.. hahaha and we left by 7:00pm. i did sing a lot. people come and go. and i was there... and people came back and i was still there. what a life. HARI NG TAMBAY!

new yeaR! what will my resolution be? i don't know. i can't be certain. hindi ako pwede magsalita ng tapos

crazy

it was the craziest day. i went to school early because i had to take an iteo test (reading comprehension), which i didn't finish by the way because i stopped when i was in my 2nd to the last question to look for my watch and find out how many minutes i have left. *krrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrng* time was up. bwahaha...

i still had lots of time before my first class starts. i have no more load and the only place i know is the library. and of course friends of mine are staying there studying for accounting (i failed the very first quiz today). i had to go somewhere not to crowded and closed. i am suffocating there. but in my kingdom. the air is fresh and the ambiance is very friendly for the morning.

it was weird. i didn't sing a song in my kingdom. not a single song. it was a miracle. i just drank my morning coffee. i wanted to see 'dream' buit i saw him when i was on my way to class. just after i put my bag in san's car. we went straight to class because we don't want to be late. ah crap! i don't want to attend class but i have to! i need to bring myself in place. get my scores up high.

the day - tiring! the 2-hour break wasn't enough for watching "My Sassy Girl". We didn't even get to the good part. But we had to leave. it was our accounting test. and we didn't want to be late as always. so as always, i didn't get anything right. i didn't even know if i scored anything from the identification part. it was horrible. i can't even understand how the journalizing goes. pathetic! i shouldn't have cut classes. buit even if i did attend the class. i would be so drunk, i wouldnt understand anything too.

Whacked! i went to glorietta. i hitched in san's ride and i went all the way to glorietta to eat then go home. i just wanted to go somewhere. i wanted to see some friend of mine, but unfortunately, that some friend doesn't want to see me. it's hard. when all of a sudden, you lost contact of a very close friend. you would miss him/ her so much. just a single day without talkin' or chattin' with the person - would kill you. its like a whole year, whatsoever time, that you have been apart. what more if you're not just friends. it would be very hard to lovers to be apart even for a second. i wonder?

i was just thinking... what if something happens to me... whatb if i die tonight. i didn't have the chance to say i love you to the one i love (i haven't found you!), to the people i love, family and friends. who will cry? who would lock themselves up in their rooms and mourn. what would people do? will the "cry" indicate friendship? i wish that those people i consider as friends would cry just a little teardrop. i don't intend to be the cause of pain. but i just want to know... who are my friends? who are my true friends?

i once wrote:
untitled
friends are there when i have money
friends are there when i am happy
but now i'm broke, i can't see their faces
now i'm lonely, i ask, "Why are my friends hiding from me?"
is it just my wealth you're after?
are you just a friend for laughter?
can i count on you to be here beside me?
will you be a friend for eternity?

i was just a kid when i wrote this. but i feel that some friendsa re not really friends. i know who... i just want to see... but if i'm wrong, i'm so sorry. it's just how you show this it to me.

crazy days give me crazy ideas. crazy, ain't it? i just wonder. am i crazy?

"to be or not to be. that is the question."

bwahahabwahahaha

the long day is over

how can i say that the day is over? do i need to say something? i mean oh well. this day was very tiring. i wake up, took a bath, dressed up and went to school. i stayed in school from 10:20 - 7:00pm. 8 hours and 40 minutes, i was running here and there inside the school campus. butbut half the time, that i was there, i was hanging out in my kingdom.

i had a very good lunch. it was a good lunch. not only does my wallet still has something in it, but also does my stomach full and tight. bsta. i was solved by 57 pesos. 1 bartburger, 1 jumbo burger a juice and a song, it felt like heaven! heaven to me. i kept thinking if i get someone to be with during the times i want to eat in BM (Burger Machine - place to go when you are saving money or if you dont have money at all), even if its far away, i could really save up. hah!!! this is something to think about. or maybe!!!! i should just bring my own food everyday.!!!

we have our ROTC tomorrow. and it bugs me that i have to wake up early again tomorrow to go to school. it bums me big time that we would be under the sun for 6 hours... actually not our platoon (we are just the regular guys! people don't care about us.. not a bad thing! at all!). we stay at the classroom and burn our butts until the we check our attendance in the field again and leave. hahhahahahah! i think it is really a waste of time to go to school and do that program. i don't know why they still implement that law... as i said, it is a law! so what can we do about it? even if we have the right to question that law??? as many people did, to take the program away, we will still fail. as to the governemtn it is an obligation. hahaha! obligation my ass. whatever!

i was watching this film, "il mare"(means 'the sea'), when i remembered recent events in the recent life in the recent recent recent!!!! it is a long story? 'i will tell you a long story. can i trust yoU!!!???' *sniff* *sniff* *sniff*

happy birthday tito villy! i hope you have many more birthdays to come... it is the birthday of my cousin's father, tito villy. they're our neighbor so when i got home from school, they invited me over to eat dinner. i was alone eating but it was fine. siomai, shanghai rolls, hicken, pancit... i was solved again!. i catched up with them when they were playing MONOPOLY. i was chatting with ate chri about the LRT and MRT. hahaha sana pwede na tyo magsabay sa LRT. mas masaya... wish ko lang!

the day is almost over. i have to sleep early. for tomorrow is another long day. hahaha catch ya'll when i catch ya'll!

starting with a new

everybody has to start somewhere...

i just got home from school 9:00 in the evening with all the thought in my head of surfing the net. i was hoping to catch someone in the messenger. to find five former classmates of mine from St. Theresa's College.

we started conversing about love and love and love... many thoughts, many experiences shared. then we ended up having the group of singles...

http://singlesinthecity.blogspot.com.. blog, friendster, e-group, mail, we have made one for our group. we are commemorating our singlehood. that even if we are single we enjoy life as it is and enjoy being single. its not an abnormality. it will come and time will tell.

it is true. we singles are sometimes your savior. without us, you won't have those people you can run to when you have problems with your partner, kung gusto niyo ng date and desperate to find one. here we are!

we are not jealous. actually its much better because we have to get ourselves into the thinking... what we really want and what we need. we coud prepare for the person who we could share things with. when it's time, it's time. no matter how bumpy the road will get, it will!

we have converse about it. i kept thinking. would this be singles for life? would there be anybody? so soulmates are not true? because if anyone, out there is for me, why hasn't he came to save me from this treacherous world.

moving on! the time has come to forget the past and think of the present. don't think about the future because it will only make your head hurt. pain, pain, pain, pain!

"life is a road, i want to keep going. love is a river, i want to keep rowing. life is a road, now and forever. wonderful journey. in the end, i wanna be standing at the beginning."

shout at the top my voice....

have you ever felt the urge to shout when you're so pressured of the happenings around you. its so hard not to see feel that burst in your heart. lidsuabdcldasjcnwli;euhfwnc lwuic;wajke clawhc;woai cwqb delau awdjncfeqwhgc'awoedichewjdb...

i really want to shout at the top of my voice. but i really can't. even if i wanted to. people will hear me and they would be asking me and i would be telling them my problem and it would result to crying and crying and crying. i really don't want that. my eyes hurt already. i've been crying my eyes out since monday and my eyes is not that swollen but it really hurts. it's like i've not slept for a whole week.

if you look at it closely. i don't want people to call me selfish but it would be very painful for both sides if it will continue. long-distance does not work that well. it is really hard. i know. i've been there and i don't think can do it again. pero if i don't know, i really can't say something. i couldn't end my statement because at times like this never does it happen that there is a repetition of situations. i couldn't get myself to type it and give out all the emotions inside of me. i just couldn't get it out of my system.

have you ever thought of this... my friend posted in our groups the question "is love for you?" have you given a thouht to this. when will it really come. when it will stay? who will it be? how will it happen? will it ever come? we don't know. well its for us to find out... i once said that if you want to know the taste of the food, you have to find it out yourself.

think about it. i am still thinking too.!!!!!

life must go on...

i have news. i think i would "never had a dream come true. till the day that i found you. even though, i pretend that i've moved on. you'll always be my baby" hehehe. it has been a day of misery yesterday for me. i'll continue it later.
peace out!

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

i think it was the six year old me who dictated that it should end. i had my reasons and it doesn't really matter.

January 12, 2004
early in the morning, my friend picked me up and we talked from then. there is really nothing to share. the fact that we are still friends is enough. that is enough. i wanted to feel happy but still, i can't make out the smile i use to have in face all the time. well time will come. i'll be fine. it won't be easy to forget. why should i? even if there are bad time, i have learned from them and it made me different. I told a friend that i can do it again but i think i can never be a martyr like before. i have done it once and i don't think i should do it again. he yold me, to follow my heart. bullshit. i an never hear my heart beat again. its very hard to find someone that would make you smile and just view life with much happiness. what more could i ask for a friend.
almost everybody who have heard the news, consoled me in different, yet comforting way. Yot, nicky, trish, chloe, raise, chet, mike, and enzo hugged me. Reden, dove,san, nicole, jc, joel, ange, and zaza gave me advices. they were very helpful. but i'm very thankful for reden. he has gave me the strenght to do what i really have to do. the people who gave me the hug, did this without question. they approached me and gave it to me when i really needed it. i've realized i have friends who loves me and i love back. i love you guys! i really wanted to cry but no tear has fallen again since that very morning.. thankful as i am. but i wanted to shed tears. it would make the pain go away if th etears gushed from my eyes down my face and into my hanky. but no, i am still numb. numb numb numb

love is blind. as far as the eyes can see. deep and meaningless. words to me. easy lover, i need a friend. road to nowhere. twist and turns but will this ever end. love will always flourish. it doesn't go away. it is hidden. there is pain because there is love and if there is love automatially there is pain. a friendly reminder: to love is something extraordinary. to be inflicted with pain is something you sacrifice for something extraordinary.

January 13, 2004
another ordinary school day. but it is not quite ordinary. i ahve spent 1000 bucks for this day. but not for food. for something different and shocking - school books and supplies. i'm gonna get that money back. well everything was in place. we had our classes, i ate, i hanged out in agno, and i started to like economics. whoa! something different.? yes! i have liked this lass since today. but i don't know until when. maybe it's just the topic of discussion - Maroeconomics (geek!!!), maybe its because it wasn't too animating like our economic lass before. not that i'm complaining but to tell you guys the truth. even if i got 2.5 = 80-84, i still didn't understand anything from that class. we all had our laughs but that was all. i could remember those stories but never the lessons. it was sad because he was a very good teacher... maybe it was me... we don't know.

i was thinkin' what if joel is right. what if "pare" would happen.?? NAH!!! that won't! you know why. because it won't. enough said! i can tolerate whatever teasing you give me. i don't care.

i missed my old self. i've been very sentimental these past two days. and i don't really like acting this way. i want the wacky kat!!!! i want her back!!! soon!!! it will take someone... DREAM... it will take something... DREAM... it take everything... DREAM. it will take DREAM... for me to go back to normal. take care people!!!

some things can really be depressing

Which Spongebob Squarepants Character Are You?


this made me happy. even if im still a little depressed... ill tell you everything. its just not yet sure.

whatever happens... i will do the best i an to still be the me you know.

day full of dirt! (leaning my room)

the new look for my room in the year 2004. it was mum's idea, to clean-up my room and i have filled up an entire trash bag with all the papers i have compiled during this school year in DLSU. i didn't realize my room is a living library of handouts, copied notes (xerox). and books (xerox). it is really one of my problem. i am always having a hard time throwing things away like my first and last perfect test in COMATH1 and everything. i put sentiments on it so i couldn't just throw it away. and sometimes, it may be of help in the futures to come.

when i was in fourth year highschool. i was part of the crative writing classes. it was my elective and i really had fun. i became almost close to other batchmates who barely know. (not really my thing) and i got close to a friends "beach". in one of our class, as an assignment, we had to write an essay about what i need that could have help in me and in the country. it goes a little something like this: blah blah blah.. having a a robot who is almost exactly like me. but doesn't have the heart. so they could do things for me. like my personal yaya! harhar. bsta. it went somehow. the professor kinda liked the idea! harhar. (this is just a very opinionated opinion).

back to the real story, i was shocked at the dust at the bak of the computer, boxes and other stuff in my room. it was full of dust rabbits. (the one in the lizzie mcguire show) well ewe! my room has been a complete nightmare. i couldn't lean-up all day so i decided to take break from it and wandered around the house and in the other houses and played badminton outside. something to do that wont let all the fat from the food i've eaten to be stuck in my body forever. in short to burn the fats! haha now i have been sneezing with all the dusts i have encountered during the day, i can feel all the dirt in my nose. just don't picture it. it doesn't look good. it make you barf big time!

i have taken a break again ang mama started telling me to clean up again. the very big problem why i couldn't clean up is because i don't know where i should put the stuff i have cleaned when it is clean already. my roon is so small to move the furniture around. some cabinets just dont fit. it gets worst. i still have my TV set in the box. i couldn't use it unless i have cleaned the whole room. without leaving any sign of spiderweb or dust spots. the very big box has taken all the space in the room so i have to move the box everytime i want to get something or when i want to go out of the room or i want to change or anything.

i don't have my privacy from the things i do inside my room like change in some dress or outfit. there would be times when i'm all naked somebody would just barge in and not even have the decency to knock on the door. it is just really hard for me. i would really like to put cement on the other door (the one connecting my room to my parents). that is why i have an idea. lola rosie is a very weak person already, and she couldn't go upstairs fast. she is having ahard time going to her room. so if papa would make lola a room in the first floor. i woul djust get lola's room and turn it into mine. it would be better because it's bigger and i would really have the privay i want. but because that is MY idea. nobody would ever know. my thoughts never count in this family. whatever! later!

break, break, break (sorry for the delay)

three classes and a break:

something unusual happened today - i came to school early not having a good reason to be early. the moment i openned my eyes, i went straight to the bathroom and dressed up as fast as i can (in my pj, white shirt, flappyflappy - total sleeping outfit), but not knowing it will look like that. without a doubt, my dad scolded me like any other day that he sees me in a shirt without a collar. beause that's the rule. i can't leave the house with wearing something without a collar, that is not a school attire. what is? office attire?... that's why people perceive me as a very mature person.. with all the crap i get during the early morning. i went to school one and a half hour earlier than my class that starts at 9:40. what a waste. but i couldn't take all the crap i get when im at home. it a very confidential story and i an't mention anything (but in time).

i had my last song to be sung in my kingdom. SAN (my buddy), was with me and we will go to our different classes after that last song. we were savoring it's every tune when the bell rang. so we had our first class and from my kingdom to LS (where i will be staying all my college life. the other end of the world) the class moved to miguel (just around the corner) to watch an introductory video for ENGLONE. and because there will changes in our teacher. we were dismissed after the 20-minute video. and so my 2-hour break starts with an extension of an hour because an hour of ENGLONE class remains. Amabel and I waited for Nix to arrive. it took her a 2 hours to arrive school and i met her alone in agno and the first thing i asked her, "how traffic was traffic?" then we went to venue to play a little billiards. and minute passed, we didn't realize it was already time. all in all it wasnt a bad boring break. i have accomplished a lot of things but it was bad for my pocket. it was left with nothing.

COMP2AE is the next best class. we had check our mails, logged on to site and stuff, when the teacher (Mr. See, the same guy) arrived, we all hooted and shouted fro joy because he was a very nice teacher. because he was our teacher, he just interviewed some other students not from our block. then we were off again leaving us a thirty minute break again where i could just get a sneak peek in my kingdom if "dream" is there. And he was. and some other friends... like honey (ang pinagkakamalan), JC (intphil guy), some other goks friends. and off i am to my last class....

Save the best for last... ECONONE is out last class. the teacher again was late for like 10 minutes and he just grouped us we laid us the classroom rules and we were off. We were free! dismissed at last! and you can just guessed where i went to. yes youa re very right - my kingdom!

it was worth it. every minute of it was for keeps. my eyes, my tummy, my heart and whole body was satisfied. the siomai was great. dream was great. i couldn't think of anything else. what could i have possibly wish for that i don't have. we know that. but it couldn't happen because of some friend. but it was okay. dream will come true and in time.

in conclusion i had 4 hours of break and with everything that happened it was worth it. i say it was worth it, baby! and i know its for keeps.

pero i was thinking what have i done. why does everybody say that i've fallin deeply in love with dream? it a hefty estimate for me to say that i've fallin' in love with dream. i know it's just an infatuation... i'm just fond of him being all that wacky and funny all the time. and besides i've yet to experience it myself. like i always say, "to feel is to believe", and i don't feel anything. so there is really nothing. kaya to the people in agno. please do not spread the rumors. it will affect my image. it will destroy my reputation. and it would be hard to change it. like echo whose image is the "manggugulo", he is known like that before the people even know his first name. i don't want to have a hard time changing an image.

harhar. from all the break, break break. one things for sure i know i'm happy! shalala! it's so nice to be happY! everybody should be happy!! shalala! happy! happy! happY!

i am pissed

i have types my suppose to be my longest blog yet. but with my computer being this P5000 worth only. the internet got diconnected when i was publishing it and didn't reover any post... SHITHEAD. i should've learned from past and still im doing it all over again. im just going to continue my "break, break, break" story when i'm all awake.