i lost everything...

it's like the incident in the world trade center. we lost people we really cherished. a black hole is over me. wanting to eat every part of me. a virus that ate up every piece of memory i had. good and bad ones...

my files. my music and every picture i have. it is all long gone.
alicia keys concert
christmas 2004
new year
birthdays
hanging out
dress ups
fete dela musique
overnights
kulitan
etc.
lahat ng pictures ko... nawala na

ipod music... all 5000 songs... *sob**sob*

all my life is gone.. with just a blink of an eye... because of those stupid people creating viruses. what the hell are your problems? why can't you do anything that will only make your own lives miserable. why do you have to get mine?

i wanted to cry. all i have left from those memories are those pictures and now they're all gone. i miss my ipod na rin.

pero now i don't have class, i'm free i can do whatever. im gonna rebuild this whole pc and get it back to the normal pc i had before it crashed.

changing the topic.

this past term has been very stressful and i deserve an applause for passing it without breaking down.

sleep

shopping

a break na break tlga...

oh life....

Loving someone is never a sin. It is what people do out of love that sometimes makes it all wrong. The selfish desire to want that person is what makes it a sin. Don't think only of your feelings for real love doesn't have a place for selfish people. When there is love, there is always sacrifice. When we love someone,we NEVER easily GIVEUP on that person. Even if we get hurt badly we always try to find a way to ease the pain and learn to understand and forgive.Loving too much doesn't hurt. It is when we expect this love to be reciprocated that we begin to seek approval and acceptance of the things we have done and when we are taken for granted and rejected,we curse the very same love that we once freely and happily offered."DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD HAVE FELT. OPEN YOUR HEART AGAIN AND GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE TO FIND THE WOMAN WHO WOULD MAKE LOVING WORTH THE PAIN AND THE SACRIFICE. Just like anything else, our love grows weak and extent Beyond that,it withers without any hope of recovery and soon dies".God wakes us up in the midst of a storm to teach us a lesson.He takes away people we love, so we can learn to value love itself. He makes us cry so hard so we can see clearly when we open our eyes. He makes us bitter so we can realize that there is no genuine happiness if we think only of our needs and not of others. Relationships built on jealousy and selfishness is doomed from the very beginning. The hardest part of losing love is letting go and moving on. Most of us cry endlessly over things that could have been but never will be. "God allows us to experience pain to make us strongerand better persons. He will see us through the
most trying and difficult times in our lives and only if we put our trust in Him we can learn to find joy in our tears and happiness in our sorrows". In many failed relationships, separation comes as the inevitable choice but moving on always proves to be twice as difficult as letting go. Sometimes, the end of a relationship is imposed on us, but our choice to hold on is always beyond the control of circumstances. Letting go is a decision that can never be dictated on us. It is a resolve we make ourselves. Acceptance is the key to a new beginning and time is the healer of all wounds. Even if the storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after our darkness and lonely moments. There is always a hope for those who
believe. There is always a chance for those who try. "Losing someone we may not be a loss at all but a blessing because someone even more is yet to come". There is nothing wrong in expressing our feelings to someone we love, but "we must always be sensitive to the signals that tell us when to rationalize and be sensible." There comes a time in our lives when we would fall for someone who wouldn't be as interested as we are because his attention is focused on someone else. There are
many times when we love but don't get loved in return. There are times when the sign ahead says stop but we still stubbornly head on. We would say our love is unconditional, but if it really is, thenwe should never feel bad.But why do we get frustrated when love turns sour? Because we still subconsciously seek acceptance and assurance from the people we care about Being in love can be the most wonderful thing we could experience but if the feeling begins to consume our whole beings, then we have to stop and let our minds and not our hearts dictate our actions. Only when we learn to accept our fate and understand the meaning of our failures we can truly go on w/life without having to luk back and cry over the things that could have
been but will never be"u CaN LeaRn tHe MoSt aBouT SoMeoNe NoT DuRiNg tHoSe MoMenTs oF
DeEp aNd PaSsiOnaTe TidBiTs oF LiFe, BuT DuRiNg tHoSe MoMenTs oF SiMpLiCiTy. tHe
MoSt DeEpeSt oF FeeLiNgS aRe BoRn DuRiNg tHoSe MoMeNtS. yOu CaN Be LyiNg iN BeD
WiTh tHaT PerSon aNd aLL oF a SudDen yOu ReaLiZe Damn, I'm in LoVe"

Happy birthday big boY!

Happy birthday Miggy

i miss her already

i went to school thinking its as usual going to school and just feeling lazy. but no. today was the birthday os SAN... she's 20 na. we decided to go the library to study but i wanted to sleep. before sleeping i was then struck by the thought that fifi is gone. tears started to fall... i stopped when i could still control it. and slept, occupied my mind with something else.

i miss her already... wala ng reason para umuwi ako ng maaga. i was really making sure nung past few weeks na i go home early kasi i'm making the most out of the time na she has here.

wala na ko kasama manood ng sine sa RP, ng alias, CSI, friends, oprah. wala na ko makwentuhan ng mga happenings sa life ko. wala ng kasama sa mga food trips. sa jammings... sa tambay lang. sa breakfast with crossword waffle, coffee, milk etc... to laugh with. to cry with... (hindi ba kanta yun?)

i just wish i see her very soon. i really want to. sana bigyan ako ng visa ng embassy... kasi exactly 24 had passed since our last goodbyes and approximately 25 hours since nung last text namin.

i can't help but wonder how will ever be a DL when im naturally lazy.

school keeps getting better and better

i can't get enough of school. it's only the second week and i have experienced already everything i'm
expecting for the whole term. so this means that there will be more to come.

i chose an MWF schedule this term. all 18 units in one day and i'm still coping up. but everyday of the week i've
been very busy. my thesismates are coming over at my place to have meetings and to finalize our product.it has
really been hard but we can't do anything, it will be very hard for us if we don't do it properly. besides next
term, we wouldn't be having that much problem. This term will be the defense and if we are all good, we will pass
and continue next term for the practicum. (THREE MORE TERMS TO GO). im already excited to graduate. i want to get
this all over with.

But one of my worries is not being a DL just once for the three years of my stay in lasalle. i was very close to
getting that but unfortunately some teachers just hate my gutts. i have to be better this term. this may be the
easiest term i could ever have. and if ever i become dl this term, sana pwede ako ibili ni papa ng car. sobrang
kakatamad na kasi magcommute. i always go home late kasi rush hour and dismissal ko. eh sobrang kakapagod tlga.
eh if i have a car, it would be easier for me. to go home kaagad. i can go to different routes to avoid traffic
and it would be easier for me to bring a lot of stuff para i don't forget or leave things that i would be needing.
pero dahil commute lang ako, as much as possible i bring only my notebooks. sumasakit kasi ang likod ko in carrying
very heavy stuffs. my osteoporosis will get worse. eh sa upper back pa naman ang problem ko...

oh how i wish... i'm really doing my best. PROMISE!

i'm encouraged more ngayon kasi i don't know lots of people in some of my classes. so i really don't talk that much.
suddenly this urge of mine to copy everything. to have my notes complete. maybe that's the trick for me to get
higher grades. this term, i have realized yung influence sa kin ni jeanette pa (she's my thesismate, friend). she's
the only person who makes me run when i'm late na. and now that wala na sha to tell me i'm late for class na. i'm
always on time na. i try to be 20 minutes early. i could be waiting outside the classroom or just sitting down at
some bench until the bell rings for class.

i miss her na. pero maybe this is for the best.

i always write down my assignments and keep track of everything i need. jeanette does all this things for me. now,
i do all this things for myself. how nice one person can make a big difference sa kin.

first week: HELL WEEK
ENTRES quiz on the second meeting
reading assignments for LITERA
a lot of paper work again for ENTRES

second week: SLACK OFF
i absent myself to two classes already
ENTRES presentation - not really prepared
reading assignment LITERA - did not read
reading assignment RELS - did not read

a lot of things have been happening and i know there are still more to come. i wish i can pass of all this without
me having a breakdown. i insomniac already. i don't sleep and even sometimes i tell people i do. i really don't
but i feel that i do. i just lie down the bed and read books. holler people and talk them all morning just to have
someone to talk to. i don't even know if they're even listening. just as long as i'm doing something.

*sigh*

*sigh*

*sigh*

*sigh*

their summer not mine

april 2, 2005
Happy Graduation FIFI! sarap sarap ng food sa Dad's the Ultimate dinner buffet. we are getting ol.d coz around 11pm we we're all headed home. jl got sick so right after he messed powerbooks (with his bunnies) we all went home. we we're all tired even if we all wanted to stay outside, we can't do anything because we don't have a centavo to spend. we are all broke and we say we are all tired. also pam doesn't want to be seen out that much. because she's burnt herself all over.
i'm so inggit. i want to go to the beach. but i don't want to go to bora na. everybody is going there and i've already been there... somewhere in palawan or island hopping elsewhere would be nice.

april 3, 2005
we all stayed at home, felice and i continued our singing sessions. we are making some noise and i say noise because nobody can sleep with all the singing we do.

i was suppose to start reviewing for my finals but i didn't. i guess i have all the time in the world. i dont have classes anymore and i kinda know half of the exam. there wont be any problemo for me.

papers are due and that is my problem. ni ahve to finish it by tuesday and i haven't even started. our so-called marketing manager got to pick the easiest chapter when he's suppose to make our marketing plan.

for the paper... it is our thesis proposal. im already in my major years and i have grouped with the finest people. (that's what i think they are). i just hope we finish this and pass the defense next term so i could sleep soundly at night. not thinking of any paper we have to perfect.

i really want my summer to start. ramon, miggy, jl and felice are on their break already and i'm still in school. getting my ass kicked everyday with all the shit school has to offer.

summer!!! summer!!!

beach beach... it so hot i want to really feel it not in school but under the sun with some salt water and sand!

maundy monday

its been tiring today. my feet still hurts and i can't walk straight. the whole iw as having a hard time going up and down the stairs for class and after class.. walking around the school and people around me don't have any idea what pain i'm feeling.

so everytime my friends notice my limping, i would be telling the story all over again...

badminton fiasco
my mum, brothers and i went to celebrity sports club last saturday to play badminton. with almost an hour of playing. i got into an accident. and i dont know what happened next. the next thing i know is that my feet is aching and i don't know why. i just remember falling down not that hard but didn't realize i almost broken my ankle.

so tired of walking, i realize it's much tiring to just sit down.

after my last class, i went straight to agno to get the usb cable for my printer and plan to not stay and go home to my new pc. i haven't mentioned it , by the way last friday my dad bought me a new-oh-so-techy-cooly- personal-computer.

so after class i went straight to agno and to make the long story short i came home late... as always but there was a good reason now... when i was sitting in agno with reden and echo, these group of girls started questioning me. and as always, i was listening to my ipod, i was really paying attention to there questions and just gave answers to their questions. and next thing i knew this girl was sitting beside me and starting a very long almost 15-page survey about dunhill. i was just tiring. i was sitting their for almost an hour, just laughing. and i felt pain after staying there.

and i realized another thing. i do gic a lot. and i know a lot of them. i'm a walking gic stand.

around 700, i went home already. i was waiting for the lrt for 30 minutes already but still the trains are full and i can't go in. joel called me around 730 asking me where i am and guess what. i was still there. and when he got there... in his luck, a half full train came... and i got in with him. i was just pissed because the whole day for me is just tiring.. i just hope it wouldn't be like this tomorrow... i've been rolling my feet using a bottle to cure the sprain since i got in the house and i think it's doing better. i just hope...

my share of life

school has been the only thing that has been keeping me busy and its the only thing that i've been doing. if you can't find nowadays, the library is the place to be. and you would see me there burning my ass off...

something new right? its the time of the term that all of us are working hard... and this term i had my part of college life. i started majoring this term and i realized how hard it is to be sitting pretty at home when all of your mates are working their ass off.

now i'm feeling what they're feeling when i do the same. i see my friends do nothing and a few of us are the only ones doing the work.

i'm here in speedbytes (computer shop). for two weeks, my classes are upto 11am only and then i'm free. and today im just hangout before going home. i don't want to go out coz they're playing the CD of Alicia Keys. and they're right now playing Heartburn. and i dont care if people are looking at me. i feel like singing... i miss her so much.

when i'm doing stuff that really hurts my head, i just think of that night my cousin and i watched the concert and it has been the best night ever.. i want to remember how it was.

but i have to be researching right now. but i can't concentrate. it's the song. i feel like floating in the air.

and i guess i dont have more to say... if i ain't got you with me baby!!!!

im sooooo freakin' pissed!!!

it started when my first class was thru. i went to agno, the usual that i would be meeting kaycee. but it was shit coz when i got there kaycee was about to go. felt really shitty. i just can't seem to tell why. i was staying there for one whole hour and i see her again passing by with her NFF (new flag friends). but whatever coz i was with yot na.

yot and i was there and we were talking about anything lang. not just anything. the first thing that pops into our minds.. literally we weren't even talking sense. AT ALL. the whole conversation was (blah). and we were already laughing at each other. both of us are just plain weird.

i went to mcdo coz jeanette and other people were there. and i was just waiting for the group meeting for our project. i was getting pissed coz its been two hours and they can't make up their minds if we are going to have a meeting or not. so i forced to just stay in school and study inside the library. and in the end, only four of us was there to attend the meeting coz we can't everybody. and it was just to meet up and go to the supermarket and buy some stuff for the product.

i was really pissed. we should've finished this last week. if they could've listened to me when i was saying to them that a calamansi sanitizer is not a feasible product. but NOOOOO! they still wanted to go their way. they didn't look at the long term situation. and just now they acme to realize what we ahve been telling them. they should've listened to us in the first place. now that there are lots of stuff to do, we can't even make our palns straight.

the only thing that is making me happy right now is thank god i have jeanette in my group or else i would leaving the group and pursue a sole proprietor project.

she was telling yesterday that i should look at the bright side. we were already in the right track. at least now they would be listening to us. but still i feel the hassle side. we all want to do want each one wants and there is no cooperation. we don't even alot a time to meet coz we are busy doing something else. i just hate it. how will we survive the next 5 terms of our lives.

i have to control myself. i just i have to... coz IM SOOOOOOOOOO FREAKIN" PISSED!!!!

im having my BF...

you know what that is

a BITCH FIT!!!

there is still hope

its back to school from a one day holiday. damn it! lasalle is just shittin' us all. after the dreadful midterms week, we are back again. seeing what our hard's work have paid us. and it did... i passed naman pala accouting to my shock, i got a 2.0 midterm grade for the class.

coming back to school is just tiring. lots to be passed and to be accomplished. i just promised myself one thing. that i'm not going to cut classes from now on. i have to be focusing more on my studies (i have heard this before... ah... from me). even if it's a hard thing to do, i would be sacrificing. i have to maintain a grade point average of 2.0 for the next two years of my life in DLSU. we all can't do anything about it.

but there will always be my long breaks. i would really try my best to stay inside school and study for my classes. make the most out of the time we have left.

i can say that there is still hope for us all. especially for me. my type of person. the BUM!

just for me to bring out the best inside...