Sunday, March 18, 2007

my dad called me a whore

i was told i shouldn't go out tonight. but i was already dressed and my mum insisted i go, so i did. i already fought with my dad over the phone about it. but because i still have respect for him, i would have stayed home if he says so.

i almost did. my mum got home and told me i can go, they're gonna drop me off and pick me up afterwards @ embassy.

it was a typical Lasalle party. IT SUCKED!

i was there, watched friends do a fashion show, listened to lame hosts talk about school and drink a lame vodka-sprite. for P200, it was all not worth it. i was with my friends, yes. i watched some guys strut their stuff, yes. I get to hang out one last time before i go to work, yes. i felt really happy about it, yes.

i didnt have money. i didnt have my own ride. i didnt have a date. WAH!!!

my friends couldn't get in because the bar was already full. i had to leave with them. we left fort and went to greenbelt where i thought i could have a nice long chat with friends and just chill. because i don't have money. we can't go inside absinth. we tried waiting for seats in crocs but there were to many people. until we found coupons from redbox that entitles us for a room and food. it was all so good until my family called me up and told me they were on their way to pick me up.

i wanted to go too. but i haven't even sang a song or even talked to my friends. i didn't even see anyone worth pursuing. ;) it was christmas chrissie kringle all over again.. i left my friends with kisses and a bill of my drink.

i got in the car and they were all quiet. my dad smelled the perfume i sprayed all over my body so he wouldn't smell the smoke and the alcohol i consumed tonight. i didnt like the smell of this perfume as well but it really hides any of my bad habits.

my dad opened all the windows until we got to our house. he was so pissed at me he called me a whore. he used the word puta which in Spanish means whore. i wasn't shocked. i had too much makeup, my top was off my shoulder already and when i got in the car my perfume was really awful and strong.

I wasn't really feeling any tear from my eyes. i was waiting for it. everytime i get to dissappoint my dad, i wold really feel sadness that i have made him angry or frustrated. but that was a long time ago. as i gotten older, i feel he is being a pain in the ass. he is treating me like a child that i feel choked aready from everything.

i felt anger and the heat inside my body is really rising. i was thinking of his fucking mistakes. did i ever do the right thing of not telling. i still feel i should but i couldn't. if only i was a bad daughter, i would've done it a million years ago. but i wasn't.

i may be a whore but i don't do anything to hurt other people. i am a good person. not like you!

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