Monday, May 22, 2006

hell is not even close

P42,519 + surcharge = INFERNO!

im not really sure what triggered everything. coz everything i did was wrong. i can't seem to find the start of the story. i've been agonizing for the past month about the class i failed during my third term last year. and becauase of that i'm being punished.

the fact that im so lazy. completes my whole story. no! its not even close to .00000000001%. everything that i do is wrong. i don't love my brothers. im not responsible. i'm not growing towards the right direction. all i think about is myself. all i care about is my band and playing. i don't respect anybody. i prefer listening to my cousins than my parents. i don't listen at all. i hear but don't listen.

i'm a selfish son-of-a-bitch!!!!!

there are times that i do these things but i'm a person. i have a mind of my own and i don't let anyone tell me what to do. except for my parents. because they're the ones giving me money. and with that i mean my tuition and allowance for school.

today was the first day and it wasn't like any other first day. i am now scheduled to pay for my tuition. im a little late coz i'm following this schedule. i called papa to tell him im going home after class to pay for it. and dumb and kuripot me told him that i'm late for payment and there is a surcharge for late payment... ISSUE!

with that, he's asking me to stop going to school coz he's not willing to give me the money to pay for my tuition. i should just stay home and hangout ding nothing. he says that atleast they wouldn't be expecting anything from me coz im just at home. makes sense to me.

im gonna crack. he was telling i can now concentrate on the band. not a bad idea right? i mean i really want the band to work. the band getting paid and all i can raise the money on my own to pay for the P42519 tuition. FUN!
atleast i would be doing something i really like.

im not reacting to anything. i really dont want to argue with him. i'm just too tired of those long and depressing arguments with him. i keep thinking bad stuff that i want to do and intend to do.

my mum was forcing me to get myself together and ask him properly because i'm the one in need of his help (a.k.a. his money). i don't like to beg.

i don't beg.

so he let my chance depend on his games of solitaire. and the cards just doesn't want me study anymore. so he was telling my brothers that they're not going to study anymore so we could pay for my school. or they could len me their money so i could pay for the installment of my tuition. they did. they gave me their money without any complaints and i got 12000 from my three brothers. ain't they sweet? even if we fight a lot. we love each other.. and thats a fact!

more to this story but i have to be sleeping... its only 10pm but the story will soon get to you. its a long story.

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