another time for reflection

it sucks how my dad really thinks i will not be graduating this year. it's bad enough already thati failed a class and the academic assistant yesterday was repeating it over and over to my face and won't let me add a course at first (eventually she let me get the class i needed).

he doesn't really listen to what i say. i'm trying to explain to him that i already have other subjects and im just gonna add the class i failed so i could pay the tuition. but then the academic assistant helped me coz yesterday only the people with problems in accounting can enroll and the rest would have to line up again on monday. she already added the class but i have to pay my tuition on monday. i have to pay a surcharge. i called him up but i think he was talking to someone then so he just said okay and put down the phone.

it's kinda frustrating that he doesn't see how bad i'm feeling about it. i kinda need the comfort and the assurance that i can do it. he thinks already that i will not be able to do anything. i know that im 100% lazy. but there is always two-sides of the picture. even if i'm lazy, i'm good at what i do.

i am... am not bragging but just telling the truth.

i don't know how to even describe the way of encouragement of my dad. will that even help me to work hard or just slack around. i didn't want to fail i was just one of the unfortch students who took the class who failed. i'm not proud of it.

i'm not allowed to be this arrogant person i am. but i have to strong. i can't let him put me down. like he always does, i should also ignore him and do just the best i could to succeed and finish the journey to the end.

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