URGENT: Long Evaluation Kept Short for 2007

i've been saying for the month of december that the year of 2007 was not that good of a year for me. thinking back i can't seem to find something good that happened to me. when 12 o'clock came. the whole year came flashing before my eyes.

i wanted to fill this entry with photos of the past but unfortunately my laptop broke down and almost all my files are lost. except for the ones i have uploaded in my websites. the pictures would have told you otherwise. i had a good year. i may not have had a blooming love life. but life has been good for me.

at the start of the year, i have been blowing off all my time with malling, clubbing, sleeping, eating and breathing. i was so fed up that i got myself a job that won't inquire me to wake up early. and i got just the perfect job in Peoplesupport as a telephone banker for Washington Mutual Bank. reasons i wont go into. to my surprise, i had so much fun that i lasted four months but my lazyness is much more powerful than i am. i quit my job and went back to my old ways.

during my working days (but they were really nights), i would start with a nice shower at around 930pm. and would take my time to clean up so when i go to work, my bosses would smell me and they would love me. oh everyone would know what i mean about that. so moving on... i met a lot of people and i really enjoyed working with them in the short time i was with them. they weren't just co-workers but they became friends and confidantes. during work, they would help out when you need a helping hand, they would also be there for you after work. of course it wouldn't be complete without the autoin (drinking session) everyday after the shift ends. with just two bottles of vodka and some bottles of beer during brunch is the best sessions of my life. how i miss doing that.

there were a lot of reasons why i quit my job. i wasn't really sure if i made the right decision there because plans were all messed up when i was denied a visa to the states. i thought i would have the ultimate vacation but the dream was cut short by the awakening of the snob american lady that didn 't give me even just a month or two of vacation to visit friends and relatives. as if i would want to stay there forever. why would i want that? im living the life here in manila. i have my own car. my dad gives me money whenever. i have a credit card i can use anytime. our fridge is always full. i have a cozy bed to sleep in. i can party whenever. i dont have to work that hard to enjoy myself. which i can't do when i would live in the states. i was thinking of working maybe for a little while of study but to migrate and leave all this? NO!

this may be my ticket to getting away from my family and learning independence that i've been wanting for the longest time but i still have other options.

this year i was able to watch the Beyonce and Fall Out Boy perform live. unfortunately when babyface visited, i got sick for the whole week. and during that time my dad got sick as well and he was confined in the hospital for a week.

we had to travel a lot this year.

Malaysia Truly Asia

Hong Kong! Live it! Love it!

Shanghai Mission Impossible

this amazing year was actually a good year. there were moments of crying for me. actually that would be a lot but lets not go into that. this post is a happy one and lets stick to it. i may have been an asshole this.. so to those who i have hurt, whatever babies!!! hahaha

its actually refreshing to see that entering the new year, there were not much firecrakers around. especially in our house. basically, every year my dad would buy tons of firecrakers and would start lighting them up at 10pm of december 31. but this year, nobody bought any firecrackers. so what our block did was cook lots of food and had a street party all night. everyone was able to hangout outside which usually was impossible because everyone (meaning the girls) are afraid of all the bang. there were smiles on everyones face because every person on our block was able to eat lots of food and there were still a lot of extra.

during the year, i promised someone that i would be blogging a lot this year. but i wasnt able to do that. our internet connection was busted and i didnt have that much energy to write a good entry. i always wanted people to enjoy reading what i type here coz having to read a long one and being boring would be torture for my friends. (geek i cannot promise but i will try to write some more)

i usually have new year's resolution that i don't even do and forget for the next week or so. this year i would just live and see what happens.

no matter what, no regrets!

2008 here we come to rock your world!

You just know

you just know that you are not home when you look around you see nothing that's familiar and you can't read a damn thing. thats how i felt when my mum and i went to shanghai for almost a week.

its my first time to go there and i loved. Shanghai is actually the New York City of China. everywhere you look there are buildings and even the old china is full of buildings that were built by the French and Americans thats why they all look like New York banks.

you just know that you are not home when you wear the clothes you dont usually wear at home.

you just know that you are not home when you can't understand a single thing that people around you are talking about and they can't understand you back

you just know that you are not home when you can buy anything you like (not the case with me hahaha) i get away with it.

you just know that you are not home when the money you have in your pocket is not enough and you have to visit the money changer to get more yuan

you just know you are not home when you get to sleep really early at night because you are so tired of the day of city tours and shopping.

you just know you are not home when you eat so much food and get away with it. (authentic chinese food baby)

you just know you are not home when you get to wake up early and be very excited of all you can eat buffet breakfast in the coffeeshop of the hotel.

you just know you are not home when you have to pack your stuff at night so you'd know if you can still have last minute shopping in the morning before the bus arrives.

you just know you are not home when you get into a plane and eat not so good plane food and watch movies inside for three hours straight.

you just know you are not home when you get inside the airport.

you just know you are not home

you just know

blah blah blah... the usual rant

everyday that i wake up i would be turning my stereo on and do some stretches in my room.( so i'd be ready for my yoga). yes i do yoga now. its funny coz i found this old book in our house about yoga for the modern living. i started reading it but really just browsed it for about 30 minutes and realized i have to live a healthy life now. with the family background that we have, i would definitely end up sick when i get much older.

so for the first thirty minutes i would be concentrating with yoga. and after i would be playing the music really loud and dance my heart out till i get really tired then i will rest for few minutes then take a bath. this is so pretentious of me. but i actually just started this last monday.

doing everything that i do... i fell really relieved. i dont know if it is just me of it has been working already. but hey thats just me.

im quite tired of what has been happening. for months now, i stay at home and do nothing. i go out with my friends and just waste money. i kinda miss my job coz i get money from it. but i dont want to work. i have money now coz my dad gives me money but everytime he reaches for my hand, i would feel like a total brat. and i may be good at it.

so recently my whole family went to HongKong. The last time i was there i was really young and of course i was also with my family. its really nice to spend time with them coz you dont have to worry about anything. especially going over the budget. you have a credit card to use and they will give you permission. so shopping is so much fun. now that we are getting older, its much more exciting to travel. you get to remember everything coz you have tons of cameras to remind you of it and also you are old enough to understand everything. also they allow you to roam around by yourselves.

supposedly the whole family is set to travel to beijing. with my cousins fifi and chrissie plus our grandmother. unfortch, the chinese visa was late to be given out. my dad thought it would be a shame if we missed a long vacation without doing anything. so we did.

i want to travel. i want to see the world. i want to own my own company. i want to party. i want to relax. i want to be a chef.. i want to be a photohrapher. i want to be a professional make-up artist. i want everything. i want you!

it was postponed and postponed again. until nov 24, 2007. the trip with my mum and i. jsut the two of us. it really sucks coz the more the merrier. but everybody is busy already. not me and my mum.

i got the talk and got to think that maybe dreams do come true

lately i haven't been doing anything productive. since i quit (but when telling older people its resigned) from my previous job, i just got to watch more, sleep more and eat more that i did before. thats why i am fat! i admit it. i haven't been in my best shape. because all day i just sit around my ass and mind nothing at all. so it is safe to say that when i think, its a means of exercise for my body as well.

just the other day i was eating lunch with my dad and my mum. we got to talk about this cousin of mine, who is in a top position in HSBC. good pay, good everything. she has it all. of course my dad doesn't expect me to be just like her coz he knows how lazy i am and i'm not the type to be working in an office. pretty much i'm so stubborn i can't really work well with the authorities.

so we were talking about new cameras inside the house.. these are my lomo cameras!








and this is my new digital camera...












my mum asked me if i am going to take photography classes and i got to think about it. my dad told me to take it so i have proper knowledge and then take whatever course i like. coz as long as he cans till pay he is encouraging me to do it.

but studying again? i had to drop my second degree just to be done with that and now that i'm finally free from school, i'll be coming back. thats insane. just like the rain outside. fuck! i hope the flood at home wont be too bad. i'm here at my friends house hanging around coz i'm so bored at home.

i got to think. my plan of studying abroad. to get away and learn independence. or kahit work na lang muna whatever. but the thought of working makes my heart sick. i have studied entrepreneurship for three years in one of the finest schools in the country and i'm just going to be an employee of a company. i really don't mesh well with higher power. but if the pay is really good and its not that stressful i'll be thinking about it.

so that same day when my dad told me to take any course i like, i went online and applied for a short course in culinary. to those i know who heard me tell them that cooking is not really taught but it is practiced... i can't practice at home. well now i am eating my words... i need training and with proper teaching, i can be more of an expert. i can be called a chef?

it has always been my passion to satisfy people. even if i'm such snob. i still like the recognition that i have made someone smile. and with my cooking or anything i concoct inside the kitchen with basically everything inside it, my friends and relatives would surely love.

so i started thinking of possible options i have. and with the people i know and the resources i have i just hope that this would all happen the way i pictured it. it doesn't have to be as smooth but i hope dreams do come true

legal in all countries

today is officially the first day of a new year for me.

im officially 21 today and i don't feel a year older.

im out of job and im going to find something new for me. i love it. i dont know why. im back to being a bum but i don't feel like its a bad thing. it is actually good.

what can i really do when im legal in all countries? this is gonna be fun... i hope i find everything i need to my satisfaction!

ima ima ima

FLIRT!

i can't help it....

malaysia truly asia

i went to malysia.

the place was pretty awesome. i can't believe this is the only time i've been there. i love the food. the shopping and sale and everything. i miss it already. the only thing i dont miss is the smell of the people.

its because of the food. i was eating the same thing but i didnt smell. they just got used to it and wasnt aware it was smelling real bad. someone should tell them though.

i'll come back malaysia.. with more money

letting me go

he's letting me go. decision is with me now. to be or not to be... i can't really make up my mind. i don't like to be asked to decide. when ideas come to me, they just pop up in my head spontaneously. it doesn't work under pressure. lets just see if i do the right thing now.

im dirrrrrrrrrrrty

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dayshift

working during the day is normal. but the early dayshift is a bit different. even if you don't see it. you feel the sun above you and you can't think much because you feel its too early for information to stay inside your head.

its super frustrating that even if you really understand what the trainor is saying you can't seem to grasp what it is all about.

its all a big lump in my throat. i can't seem to swallow and digest everything. i need some kind of drink to push it down my body.

HELP?

hours before the early shift

2 hours before i have to get up and take a shower.

3 hours before i have to leave for work.

4 hours before my early shift starts.

most of the time i get really excited, i would kid myself that i need to sleep early so i wouldn't be late for an engagement or plans i have. i end up thinking about it so much that i wouldn't be able to sleep and i would just stay up all night till i need to do that thing i was thinking about.

right now, its already 1am and i have to be up by 3 to prepare myself and food im gonna eat for work. and because im scared that i wont wake up, i just decide to myself i would not sleep. i actually can do a week without sleep. i just hope i can do it today. im posting this blog just to burn some hours off my surfing the net. coz if i finish doing the usual things, i would really get bored and i would definitely feel tired and would just sleep. i can't predict if the alarm clock of my phone would wake my exhaustion or i would need a hard tug and push to wake me up.

i can really do a week without sleep but if do sleep. i sleep like a baby. everyone can attest to this. i talk when i sleep. i dont feel a thing when im in deep sleep. sometimes though when i set my mind to waking up at a certain time, i would not need an alarm clock to wake me up. my body would just know the time. but sometimes because of a really good sleep, i would not hear the alarm clock even if it sounds for a whole 30 minutes. my ears wont just listen to any sound because my mind thinks i need more sleep.

being part of a family that likes to sleep, i would not be surprised. we all would just rest our heads on apillow and the body would do the trick. it is nap time. but there are times when even hours of lying bed wouldn't do. couting sheeps, drinking hot cocoa or milk, reading a boring book (which by the way i dont own a single boring book), watching tv, or listening to mellow music. all these just doesn't work for me.