jealousy...

you keep denying things you feel and show anger when you really are jealous. people you know have their lives figured out but you get to stay at home and watch. if you can't figure out what you want in life, you can't pull those people down until you get get yourself together.

if life is fair, this is how its suppose to be. you don't have to live the life they want but live a life you want. it doesnt have to be now but live it one day at a time. you can't get everything all at the same time. your 10 fingers can't handle them all at the same time. you have your own plan. sacrifices are needed but all the things you want for yourself shouldn't be taken.

they call it "compromise". i think. but this word is not known to everyone. as selfish as you are. everybody wants everything. but you cant have everything. like the wife of agamemnon, clytemnestra said, you can't everything you want. but if the gods will it, you will.

i have to start doing things for myself. i have to start somewhere right. if i dont, i will be left to rot. how? how? hope i figure it out soon!