how life goes for me

im just torn

2009-09-07T10:59:00.001+08:00

...

why not join?

2009-07-08T23:18:00.001+08:00

i am promoting this contest for one reason only... http://bernardumali.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/saranggola-blog-awards/

i want to challenge you guys to use ur creativity.

kaya natin to...

pagudpud down the drain

2009-06-05T08:46:00.003+08:00

i didnt leave because im still a kid with a lollipop in her mouth. my daddy didn't allow me to go. he still treats me like a baby.

i will just act like one.

coz the bitch is back!

We love you Lola Rosie!

2009-05-03T14:16:00.007+08:00

its the 40th day from the death of my lola rosie (my dad's mum). i still cant help but shed tears everytime i think that i would never be able to see her. i know that its been a while since we have talked because of my busy schedule but i regret not spending time with her when i can.

the 40th day? im not sure why we celebrate or get together on the 40th day? why not 100th? or 50th? nevertheless, im glad she's in a better place now. i weep outisde but inside i am happy she lived and i have spent time with her.

she always tells us that coz shes old time comes and she will be gone. i never thought it would be sooner. i never saw myself crying on her coffin. i didnt wanna see her in there. and i dont regret not looking. i never even thought i would be there helping out on the funeral preparations. i ever thought i would be staying all night inside the funeral home, entertaining guests who came and finally i never thought that i would be inside a car following all the other cars bringing her to her final resting place.

we were suppose to go to another coutry this holy week. we were already making plans, booking a flight and the next day. *poof* no more plans.

i remember her alive and happy. i remember her eating and shopping, travelling together to different countries.

we will miss you!

new number. save it

2009-05-02T00:12:00.001+08:00

Hi all! I have changed my number. pls save it so you can still contact me if you want to. lol 09174693085. send urs so i can keep in touch. or if you have sun save this as well 09233825356. See you when i see you!

even angels fall

2009-03-23T14:17:00.002+08:00

You've found hope
You've found faith,
Found how fast she could take it away.
Found true love,
Lost your heart.
Now you don't know who you are.

She made it easy,
Made it free,
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.
Sometimes it stops,
Sometimes it flows,
But baby that is how love goes.

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.

It's a secret no one tells;
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.
It's no fairy tale;
Take it from me,
That's the way it's supposed to be.

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.

You laugh, you cry, no one knows why
Behold the thrill of it all...
You're on the ride
You might as well
Open your eyes

You will fly and you will crawl;
God knows even angels fall.
No such thing as you lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.
Even angels fall
Even angels fall

Coffee Post

2009-03-22T08:41:00.000+08:00

I keep thinking... why am I alone right this very minute? I'm not really a loner but it is always nice to find time alone with myself. But not all the time. I keep proving to myself that I'm just happier when I'm not.

Work has kept me to my feet but when work is over, I don't feel like going home coz home is too quiet even if I'm too tired, I get too bored. I don't have weekends off coz I always find ways to get me out of the house. Or ways to work on something. To earn more so I can spend more. (I think I'm like the girl in the green scarf). And of course I still want to continue on my purpose of working. To earn more, to save more for my own business.

All I can talk about is work. Theres nothing too special or extraordinary or spectacular or exciting that is happening to my life. I just pretend that it is so I would feel better when I'm having a hard time really.

So I'm reading this book and its actually taking me longer than usual to read it. Its not that its a boring book, im actually liking the way Paolo Coelho has written this one (The Witch of Portobello). It says in that book that extroverts are unhappier than introverts. They are putting too much effort in proving to themselves that they are happier people than the others. I can say im like that too. If you're an extrovert, and people know you to be too jolly, when a moment that you keep quiet they will notice that you are a bit sadder or lonelier than usual.

Isn't it sad that you have to prove to yourself that you are happy. When you can feel happy and contented with what you have. What if God has really planned for you to be alone right now. The two girls beside me are together studying for a PHYSIO (I guess its physiology). Then in front of me there are to people chatting away. Then beside them, the table is occupied by old Chinese dudes that are too noisy and has been sitting in the coffeeshop (The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf) for more than two hours. Just like me. But I am alone. I haven't talked to any real person except over the phone. I woke up my friend so I can talk to someone and amuse myself or just a little while

Now im blogging about the day and how I came to realize I have fewer friends than before. Fewer in a sense that they are leaving the country or busy or with other people. Time has been too fast, just a few years ago, we we're just hanging out together after class or between classes or before class. We're either eating, playing cards, drinking (coffee or alcohol even in the middle of the afternoon), or just sitting around. I miss those days. Whenever im bored, I would just go to the a spot where we always hang out and I would find someone there to chat with. Now, when im bored I have to text everyone I know and ask if they're busy. Now usually the ones I would like to hangout with are busier. And the people I don't have that much stuff in common with are free as a bird. I'm not saying that I don't like them but it is quite obvious for both of us that we would have too many silent moments or awkward pauses. Then I would end up mocking someone that would pass by (making me more evil than I am seconds before the pause). We would get back to talking because of a mockery that I would start. We have to start somewhere right. Then when all else fails or I have given my everything and vice-versa or just given up for that matter. I would talk about work (not really a boring job I have) but for other people who don't understand the whole thing would get bored. Or then the most talked about topic.

Lovelife!

Why is this the most talked about topic? Is it really true that everyone can relate to love? I doubt it. There are conversations about love that I don't understand. I may be outspoken and but they're only opinions. They are not based on experience. A person without an experience on the matter doesn't have the right speak about it because they don't understand or have the slightest idea of the situation.

I wouldn't ask for advice from someone who hasn't experience a specific thing or a similar thing even if they are older than I am coz they are not knowledgeable enough to speak about it. As sometimes my friends would ask me about my opinion about something, they shouldn't listen to me. Im not telling them to leave their partners or cheat or whatever. Its just me. I'm not God that everyone should listen to me.

Can u imagine me turning barrels of water to wine? I would imagine myself turning wine into air. Haha I'll drink them all. Thats something everyone would picture me doing instead. Getting back on the subject, whatever the subject is.

I'm not saying im lonely coz I'm not. I'm just looking around and almost everyone is with someone. Nobody is alone. So in their eyes, I may be typing away here (looking too busy when im not), im a just alone.

bukol sa brief ng security guard (lump inside the brief of security guards)

2009-03-19T08:25:00.005+08:00

earlier today, my boss (a new one that i really love) called me up to his table to show me something. his blog has the feature of seeing the keywords of people that led them to his site.

almost all the keywords that they are using were all about love. love? do i know anything about it? but getting back to the topic, one search was this "bukol sa brief ng security guard" (lump inside the brief of security guards). if u go to the site, there is no post like that or anything too malicious for that matter to even link those keywords to the blog.

it is funny how the mind of a person works. u may never know how he feels even if he looks empty or smiling, or sad. u will never know. but it is very fascinating. i wanna know more on how it works.

the first letters of their names

2009-03-18T15:19:00.009+08:00

one of my officemates sent me a text message last friday asking me to describe her using the first letter of my name. K? how can i describe her. i wasn't prepared i didn't reply to the message. but when i sent it to all my friends, to my surprise a lot of them responded immediately.

Paula said - "Panny. you know, like, nakakatawa"
Kaycee said - "Krazy"
Emilyn said - "Epal"
Nuel said - "Nuelable? :P" we both aren't sure whats that suppose to mean
Karla said - "Kyooot hehe"
Edz said - "Engrandeng Ninang :)" shes trying to convince me to buy my inaanak the eating chair
Laurie said - "Lomography?" is that even an adjective?
MJ said - "Malandi" so true
Analyn said - "adorable"
Eden said - "elusive"
Kai said - "Krazy! hihihi"
Katz said - "Krazy! hahaha"
Chisti-anne said - "Cool! hahaha"
G3 said - "gullible"
Paolo said - "panalo!"
Felix said - "Fat!" she believes that honesty is the best policy. and she stands by it.
Aissa said - "abominable. ur super workaholic na." grabe naman to magdescribe parang no life na other than work.
Mon said - "Mucho Dinero" - this one i just don't believe but i wish. coz if i have mucho dinero, i wouldnt have to be a workaholic. so im actually not denying it... haha

so it was really funny, panny as paula has said. people see me krazy... i actually believe them because i really am especially all the time. even in the office itssuper crazy. i dont wanna be too serious because it would make me even more crazy if i am.

work has been very hectic. i have strated writing the blog since 8am this morning and until 4:28pm i haven't even started on anything good to share. i don't think i will ever have something good to share unless i really focus on this blog. but i will start again because it is another day as i haven't even finished this particular paragraph and i guess i have to end it now to start a new one.

is santa on vacation already?

2009-01-04T13:54:00.000+08:00

i have a list of wishes now. is santa on vacation already.? will i have to wait another 361days before i get these gifts...?

they're very simple. not material things.

i wish for my cousin to have a safe trip coming home tomorrow
i wish for my officemate who has asthma to get well soon
i wish for my grandma to stop gossiping
i wish for my other cousin to come home
i wish all the best in the world for my other cousin who just got engaged
i wish for the rest of the family to have peace, love and respect in their hearts
i wish for a companion ( can also be a boyfriend)
i wish for a good year
i wish for a good health
i wish to be surrounded by happy people and happy people only
i wish to give happiness to others as well

i have been praying for all of this. of course i wanna make sure i get them sooner rather than later. so i wanna make sure i have covered everything. pray to god and wish for santa to grant me these things. coz all i want for christmas is you.. hahaha

i can't believe im thinking it

2008-12-26T13:03:00.000+08:00

im so bored im thinking how i miss going to work... WAHHHHH!

oh my god. i just can't believe im actually thinking it. i love my job right now. im happy right now. but i dont think im that happy to even miss going to work. everytime im staying home with nothing to do, i keep hoping that the weekend ends and monday will come because im so bored at home.

i dont wanna go out that much because i will spend money when i do. maybe because i miss seeing my crush (he's so cute). its weird coming from me that i like going to work.

something to do. being productive for a change. weird because i was always the one person who doesnt like office. not the person to be tied down in one chair for 9 hours with the same thing everyday.

NO ROUTINE FOR ME!

but here is routine and im actually enjoying it. here i am enjoying but still questioning it? what is wrong with me?

now im thinking of my future. can't work without a datebook or calendar at hand. can't decide on stuff without checking my schedule. ewe! i disgust myself. one of the things why i hate the office.

still here i am. no plans of resigning or leaving. i'll give myself a year... will i ever make it?

but can you believe im thinking it? im thinking that i hope the holiday ends so i can go back to work? or its just that im bored... still no excuse to think this way. i should do something now before i go crazy!

become a workaholic! WAHHHHHH!

2008 to 2009

2008-12-26T11:03:00.001+08:00

This year came like a blur. I cant really remember much of what has happened over the 12 months. It is like i have drank my way to 2009 just to say happy new year when i wake up with a hangover.

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

NE-YO Live in Manila

April 2008

Our whole family went to Taipei.

How pathetic of me. i have to look at my scrapbook just to remember these things.

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

I turned 22 and i got nekkid men for my birthday. hahaha

August 2008

I started working in DMCI Homes. The time i met the sunshine of my life. how cheezzzy! just the person i get my inspirations from right now.

September 2008

October 2008

I took oath for passing the Real Estate Broker's Exam.

November 2008

December 2008

Celebrated my 1st Company Xmas Party. Got to be a part of the Party. Joining the department presentation, be the host of the show, commentator during the mass (which i passed to someone else 5 minutes before the mass started). I had lots of fun. We even won the competition but we haven't claimed our cash prize. and we all want it now.

There is really nothing to say for every month. Unlike last year. my year-end post is so long and got lots of photos to post. I'll try to do something about this for next year.

Work has been keeping me really busy and tired right after. i really want to have time to blog about everything that is happening. i want to keep track of what has been happening. but i dont wanna sound too into work. but i cant really help it because that is all i do now.

i wanna find time. i wanna find myself. i wanna find you. so for 2009 i dont have any resolutions. just 2009, a camera and myself to keep track of my life.

Do you wanna know how tired i am?

2008-09-06T19:38:00.000+08:00

wish me luck!!!

2008-08-19T05:50:00.002+08:00

i start today with work. im not excited but i want to go so i would get my money soon. also i wanna go now coz i want the day to be over and i wanna sleep longer.

wish me luck!

Happy Birthday Miggy!

2008-08-18T05:39:00.000+08:00

R.I.P

2008-08-10T18:00:00.000+08:00

Such sad news.

Comedian Bernie Mac died early Saturday morning from complications due to pneumonia at the age of 50.

As y'all know, the funny man had been hospitalized for about a week.

A few years ago, Mr. Mac disclosed that he suffered from sarcoidosis, a rare autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in tissue, most often in the lungs. However, his reps claimed early on that the bout of pneumonia he was fighting had nothing to do with the sarcoidosis.

He's survived by his wife Rhonda McCullough, their daughter, Je'Niece, a son-in-law and a granddaughter, Jasmine.

Let's pray for the soul of Bernie Mac. He has been a great actor and entertainer for everyone.

gossip girl!

2008-08-06T07:17:00.000+08:00

good morning everyone! gossip girl here. your one and only source to the scandalous lives of manila's elite.

everyone says you are no one until ou are talked about. so let's talk about you...

what gossips do you have?

tell me everything...

you know you love me

xoxo

gossipgirl

gossip girl!

2008-08-06T07:13:00.000+08:00

AWESOME!

2008-08-06T07:06:00.000+08:00

awesome.

2008-08-06T07:05:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/v/6EUupnF02vo&hl=en&fs=1"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.youtube.com/v/6EUupnF02vo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344">

i signed it today

2008-08-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

i got a job. it has been a long time and i forgot how to do it all. the application the forms, the drug test, stool sample, blood test, x-ray, breast exam, BIR, Pag-ibig, SSS. EXHAUSTING!!!

yesterday they called me and told me they have a job offer for me. anytime that i am free, i would just drop by and see if i want the job. of course i do. thats why i applied and its the only company i applied for. i dont want to explain myself to the people who still thinks im just bumming around for the past year.

i just dont give a fuck!!!

these are all parts of my plan. i just didn't know that this would be first in line. i know i said i dont like working anymore. but everything don't always go according to plan. so here i am again.

how am i suppose to breathe with no air?

2008-07-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

i just cant believe 4hours ago i was sitting in araneta coliseum watching hot nekkid guys strut their stuff. and they got some stuff to strut.

Bench had their very famous denim/underwear fashion show in Araneta Coliseum. Blackout.

with the right connections, you can get invites to the hottest fashion show ever. hot meaning steamy.. i feel like a celebrity or something. last minute i asked my dad to get us tickets to the fashion show from tito ben. my dad being away, i double-checked if he got us tickets. and he gave 2 VIP tickets for the show. i love it. VIP. so i am important i guess.

got there earlier coz i thought my friend would be early as she always is. to my surprise i guess she wanted to get me for all the times i made her wait or something, she kept me waiting for almost 2 hours. when she arrived i kinda forgave her. she looked like she came from an earthquake or something. she actually just rode the MRT. amazing how riding the train would do that to you.

i was uber-excited that i wasnt able to really sleep last night. thinking of all the nekkid guys i would be seeing. just thinking about it makes my beat skip a beat and my lungs stop breathing for a second. we were both a little tired so we decided to go inside the coliseum earlier so that we can relax more. guess what? i wasn't able to relax. being on the 8th row just around 5meters away from the stage, air air air!?!?!?!

people are piling up inside. famous people are just around the corner. i can't believe im seated with them. i may not be famous but im somewhere. haha feeling!!! well i saw that i wouldnt be able to scream and go wild when the show starts. everyone around looked so demure and sophisticated. i had to learn how to contain myself in 30 minutes. that was hard. i had to be like everybody else. hay!

as the show is starting, i just held my breath, men!! men!! men!!! now i know im older. i think about them all the time. and now they're right infront of me. nekkid! with all their beauty! i love it. i was thinking of taking a picture of everything. but because the models were moving too fast, my digital camera couldn't capture them. i had to use the flash. i wanted take everything. i wanted to have a memory saved in my harddrive. i want them. i need them. oh baby! oh baby! haha am i horny or what? haha

well i wanted to take pictures of butts, everything i saw. but i was just too embarrassed. the only flash was coming from me. i had to change my tactics. go for the cameo.

it doesnt have the best results but im fine with it. keeping it forever in my private files. i wanted to be there infront taking pictures of the models. like the photographers were there shooting away. it would have been good lomo pictures for me.

so maybe you're thinking the show was full of men. well they're the once i want to remember. but there are hot chicks in the center stage. Ehra Madrigal, Francine Prieto, Ruffa Mae QUinto, Priscilla Meirrelles and many more female models. some of these models came out with only body paint on them. and some wearing almost nothing except a net-like jumpsuit. woah! something for the men to dream about. wahaha

seeing them in the ramp. i wanted to get my hands on the underwear they were wearing. i was wearing a bench underwear and i love it. its very comfortable. i want to say im the biggest endorser of bench. i buy almost everything from their store. i even get my hair fix'd. i want to go shopping again for undies. bench is the best.

i say this with all my heart. i love bench. they are the best really. i would say it again. bench is the best. they get the hottest guys in town and they are just to die for. watching them i feel my undies falling off while i was sitting down. hahaha thats how hot and steamy they are. mcsteamies and mcdreamies of manila.

i told my tito it is the best gift i have received this year for my birthday. i've been wanting to get a box with a hot nekkid guy inside. and i got a stage full of them. *sigh* thinking can i ask my tito when can i party with the boys? *sigh* was there an after party? i would die right then and there. i couldnt even get to speak if i was infront of them.

a little preview....

bring home the hickey

2008-07-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

so my brother is really getting old. he got his first hickey. no sorry make that two. one on his neck and the other on his ear. i really dont know how his girlfriend did it. but there is one on the outer lobe. it was so funny coz he was trying to hide it from everyone. but my other brother and i immediately spotted it and laughed real hard.

my mum was scolding him for some other reason and he doesnt want my mum to find it. him having a girlfriend made my mum go wild already. what would have happened if she saw the hickey. haha i couldnt stop laughing. thinking about it now, i still can't stop laughing. i wanted to stop laughing so i just sang a song. but the words that came out of my mouth sa still "chikinini" song (tagalog for hickey). then i start laughing again. he was trying to conceal it. good thing he had these acne overnight patches. it wasn't as big as the hickey but it will do. he asked me to put concealer on it but it didnt work.

he just has to live with it. haha. he has to be careful. these things are just a recipe for disaster inside the house. my mum would go ballistic and the house would never see the end of noise ever again.

i got spanked

2008-07-06T13:08:00.000+08:00

yes. my mum spanked me. the first in my room she got hold of is a hanger and she whipped me real hard twice and threw the thing at me. i was so drunk to even feel it that i just dozed back to sleep.

friday night, i went out with my friend, Nuel. we were suppose to watch a movie but instead he went home and i went to my cousin's house, Don. I told my mum i was with my other cousin and we are going to watch a movie and eat and gonna drop off the organ i borrowed from a friend but i just lied about everything. We played Texas Holdem and drank and just had fun. they're area is so far that there are no cabs around when i wanted to go. so i just stayed and drank my ass off.

Got to watch a chick punch an irritating guy in the face three times. it was so funny but time was so fast. i had to go home. the sun is rising already and my mum cant know that i wasnt home yet. so i asked them to drop me off somewhere theres a cab. but because its so early in the morning, the LRT is already open. i rode the train and got home around 6:45am and my mum knows i came around 2:30am. what a liar i am!?!?!?! i might be so good at lying that they would never catch me ever.

I was just quiet in my room the whole day till i got dressed up that saturday night ready to hit the birthday bash of my good friend, San. So i go out and mommy thinks i would obey her and the curfew she gave me. NO WAY! in the five years i have been friends with San, this is the first i wasn't sick on her birthday. so i had to be there at all times till the thing is done. if i did tell my mum that im gonna be late, she wouldnt let me out of the house. im not that stupid. i had to lie.

i was there and it was so noisy. the music was so loud i know i wouldnt hear her calling or texting me. so i didnt have it on silent mode. so i just drank and drank till the birthday girl got drunk. and we had to go home. i tipsy already but i was fine. San on the other hand cant walk straight. i ahd to almost carry her to her car. when she was sitting inside already. i got into a cab and went straight home.

after just an hour of sleep, my mum opens my room and shouts at me what time i came home. so i said that i arrived before 3am. as i did. but she doesn't believe me. she reaches to the floor as the hanger was there. and came to me, hitting me with the hanger three times in the legs. she was about to leave and was saying something about what an asshole i am but i couldnt understand that much. she threw the hanger at me. everything was such a blur. the alcohol is settling down inside my body. i couldn't feel a thing. i just dozed back to sleep until i felt like puking. it was already 8 in the morning but i just stood up gently and went down to fill up a bottle of water. my mum saw me and asked if i was drunk and i just denied it.

drank water and felt better. dozed back to sleep again and woke up just in time for lunch.

feel like a kid again. getting scolded coz i came home late. i think thats how it is. get spanked with a hanger or the belt. the inanimate object nearest to you. of course convenience is important. my mum was telling the story to my dad. papa just came home from boracay. and because my mum was so PO'd he just told me that i was wrong and not really that mad about it. so that my mum would see that i get punished or soemthing. my dad called up san and asked about the party. of course i was hoping she would remember. but she didn't.

as san was talking to my dad, i was just beside him. she was saying that she went home around 1:30 and i stayed with her officemates. well i just laughed at it all. this event will be remembered for the rest of my life. of course if look at my leg right now, i have this thin bruise from the hanger, then i start laughing. well thats what i get from lying and from disobeying your parents. bwahahaha

i might be grounded too, by the way. but then im still gonna do what i want. just lie about stuff and i can go. just go home early this time. haha

manila sucks

2008-04-17T11:53:00.000+08:00

i say this from the bottom of my heart. manila sucks! it is so fucking hot im sweating in every part of my body. and it sucks you have to change clothes every time.

a week ago we arrived in taipei. for my past blogs, i was giving full details of the day-to-day trip. but the last two days was so exhausting i didn't have the energy to write one. so here it is.

so on saturday morning, we were all so tired to even get up but there were places we haven't been to. so off we go to the reservoir. two cities get there water from this dam. and it is where we got the water we used to take a bath that morning. cool huh? that day was the day i was in-charge of taking my lola. so i didn't walk a lot but once i get my lola to sit down for about 5 minutes. i run to spots where i can take pictures. and might i add. i only get a shorter time than 5 minutes because my lola can't stand being in one place. just like me. so it actually runs in the family.

so we get there and its already time for lunch. just about 30 minutes of taking lots of pictures for us. yes that runs in the family as well. my dad, my brothers, my cousins... literally we are all camwhores. half the time that we are in taiwan, we were taking pictures. smiling and posing for the cameras ( lots of them too). proof would be over 2000 pictures that we sifting through to print out.

lunch time we went to this fish restaurant. i forgot the name. i wrote it down on my notebook. but its not with me right now. so lets get back to the story. In this restaurant you order one big fish and they cook it in different dishes. And every dish was so good we forgot to take pictures. As if we were all hungry already from the one hour trip to the reservoir. Sometimes it feels like we are always hungry. We almost never ate lunch, dinner at the right time. But we always ate. If we didn’t we wouldn’t be a big family.

After eating we had to go to the comfort room and lola cant use the restroom where you have to squat and I can’t either so I can wait but lola can’t. so gary, the Taiwanese tour guide who is based in the Philippines asked the owner of the place if they have one. And they did only in the guy’s restroom. Lola went inside and as I was waiting, a couple of men came in and started peeing, I was so shocked coz I didn’t here them come in. maybe they thought I was a pervert or something. So on our way out, I was facing the wall so as not to see them. And off we go back to Taipei to go shopping. the next best thing we are good at during vacation trips. I don’t think I have ever been to any trip abroad where I didn’t buy something for myself and for pasalubong. I don’t think any Filipino can do that.

After doing some shopping in Nik outlet, Giordano, etc. we stopped for coffee in starbucks. It’s the coffeeshop you can never go wrong with. It’s universal. So sip sip sip while waiting for everyone. Then off we went to find the famous Japanese burger place called Mos Burger. And it is famous for a reason. Their burgers are really really good. You have to try it. So we called up ate for her to meet us up near Taipei 101. that day she met up with Lomo Taiwan for a shoot. So she met up with us and we got there we were all tired to go around that we just sat down in a coffeeshop at the top floor, called Mr. Brown Coffee. We drank and took pictures until it was time to meet up with the others.

Once we got home we were all really tired but we had to go to the supermarket still to purchase some last minute pasalubong and also a stop in McDonalds to get a bite to eat. So in Mcdonalds they have this meal, with chicken fries and drink only. It is so cheap that you can eat a lot. And even without ketchup you can just use there pepper powder that really tastes good and you are good to go. We ordered the food to go and ate the food in the hotel room while we were packing. And packing for me was disappointing because I left one thing in the hotel room. I actually don’t know what happened to it. I bought this notebook in starbucks and it has three cute stamps in it. And it was in a box and because there were a lot of boxes around my luggage, I might have placed the box with the other garbages. And it really sucks. And that’s how the story ends. I don’t want to give any details to the last day where we were just eating breakfast on our way to the airport and in the airport. Because it is the same old thing. Nothing new…

Manila still sucks. Right this very minute I am missing how cold it is in the morning when I wake up and take a shower. How I use hot water while taking a bath. Manila sucks. I want to go back to a place where it is cold.

Another step in Taiwan

2008-04-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

Another step for me and my whole family in Taiwan. One hell of a trip from the city to the zoo. Everyone was late for breakfast. After using the internet last night, we had to stop by the brewery in the lobby to check out the beer. Of course it was already late and the bar was going to close down at 12mn. It was already 1130 when we entered the bar so we only had 30 minutes to have just one round of beer. It tastes so good we had to go back tonight with the gary, michelle and of course my cousins felice and chrissie.

Before I even get into details with what happened tonight, today was the third day and it is the day to go to the zoo and to ride the cable car. Because we are so tired, we only got to go to the Taipei zoo. It is so big so we had to get our lola on a wheelchair. Something not advisable to do when there are a lot of slopes going up and down. We saw lots of animals inside. Penguins, elephants, monkeys, bears, koala, zebra, muntjac, frogs, alligators, snakes, tortoise, turtle, salamander, iguana, and many more I can’t even remember. I just took lots of pitures of the animals I saw or those who are at sight.

After eating lunch at mcdonalds, we decided not to ride the cable car because it will take us an hour to buy tickets. No way, jose! So shopping is the next best thing. AWWWW. Electronics section is the next stop. Everyone just expressed happiness when gary said electronics. Cheap as it can be. Here in Taiwan, electronics are known to be cheaper than any other. I wish I have money to spend.

Dinner of machang and soup and misua. I didn’t like it that much but because I was hungry, I just ate.

A visit in the night market for the second time was amazing. The more you go inside the market, the cheaper things get. But be careful, you might lose your way and not make it to the time you are suppose to meet with your friends. I bought lots of cool stuff for pasalubongs and for me. My friends and family would really like them. I kinda noticed while shopping that I buy more stuff when im under time pressure. I feel like this will be the last chance when it is here is Taiwan but not totally true as a whole.

So we went back riding 3 cabs. We went to the pub in the hotel lobby and drank beer. We got a little tipsy and hungry that we decided to visit the supermarket. Which was my reason for going out so late to my dad. We bought food and food and food.

Now its too late and I should be the first one to wake up in 3 hours. I better sleep and tomorrow is another day and the final step to reach nirvana in the land of HCG. haha

Taiwan Step 2

2008-04-10T19:05:00.000+08:00

second day in taiwan and it started raining. and it got a little cold. so its a good thing i didn't listen to my dad when he told me not to bring a jacket with me.

before i forget... when i was talking about the hotel that we were staying in, did i mention we have free porn? yes, we do have free porn. and my brothers are jealous because in their room they have none. so for those who have some asian fettish. they would like the porn.

going back! today was too much. too much fun, too exhausting and too fattening. i woke up 7am and went to the shower immediately. and got ready waited for everyone to finish while watching an english movie in HBO that was about equality in education to the chicanos! "viva la raza". breakfast was free from the hotel and we headed to the cafe and ate waffles, bagel sandwiches and burritos for breakfast.

we were already running a little late so right after breakfast we hopped to a new pimping bus to the national museum of treasures. it was really educational but unfortch pictures are not allowed inside so we waited till we were outside to take pictures. i never knew anyone that perspire in photo ops. but we do... eveytime we do take pictures, we end up perspired and exhausted in the end coz of a lot of jump and running and changing of cameras(the heavy ones). so after taking all the energy we had on that we went for quick bite in the city called formosa chang which is a fastfood restaurant here. after that we went to the next destination...

Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall. if D.C. has Lincoln Memorial then here in taiwan they have this. there are a lot of pictures and writings on the wall and i was lazy to read and look real closely. i just saw some people doing some protesting and a person that looks like cory aquino from afar and near. so had more pictures here and there and decided that we should try to ride the bullet train. here they call it the high speed rail ( HSR train ). it runs to about 300km/m. it was very fast because in 30minutes. we went from city to province. but the ride was very pleasant. standing up is a breeze. its not the ride in the LRT or our MRT. you actually dont move inside unless you yourself actually move. Make sense? i actually just type whatever comes to mind so bare with me.

after everything. it was only 4:30pm and i can't believe that we already did a lot of things. but i also cant believe that its already the second day and the only thing i have purchased were food and beverage. typical of me. thats why im fat. well getting back, of course taiwan is famous for their night markets so we had to visit one and the biggest. Tunghua Night Market. my sole hurts already just thinking about the walk we had. it was a very long street and many other sidestreets. many really nice stuff but it is very hard to get bargains when you dont understand the language they speak.

of course we would not start the shopping without fuel. we had to stop for some gas. we ate at this cool marketplace like foodcourt. it was amazing. you wouldn't want to eat everything because you never know what the food is. because shopping can also be tiring and not just therapeutic, we had to gas up again before we sleep. we ate in this place where instead of using chicken. they let us eat ducks. yes ducks. they place is full of pictures of it and the food basically is everything inside the duck. EVERYTHING!

and now i am here again. telling you this. taiwan is really great and the two days i have stayed here, even with a motel-like hotel, i still have taipei in my favorite cities in the world. not just for shopping but for the food and the weather and its cleanliness (relatively speaking). hope i can still come back soon.

so tomorrow is another day and hoping for more. until then im signing out.

taiwan one step at a time

2008-04-09T20:02:00.000+08:00

my whole family is in taipei city. we are staying in a hotel that feels like a motel. pictures to come would show what i mean.

we departed manila at exactly 12:25 in the afternoon because there was an hour delay on the plane. we all thought we were already late because the immigration took so long and we all woke up late. so taiwan was a two-hour ride. we were all so hungry because in the plane they charge too much for crappy food and we haven't eaten anything since we woke up.

the first thing that we wanted was to eat. we have a representative of the company that sponsored our trip to join us and be our tour guide named gary, who is from taiwan and is just based in the philippines and michelle who is an employee also of the company. the company is called HCG. it is basically something to do with bath fixtures.

so we have our tour guide, gary, take us to a province called jingge and we ate some chinese food. really good. and after we ate. we all got free plates from the store that the restaurant owns.

first order of business : TAIPEI 101. this building is the tallest building in the world as of the moment. it has 101 floors and is supported by a ball that is suspended in the middle of the building which is called the damper baby. it was so cool to go up and take pictures of the lights of the city. i said that it is the tallest building as of the moment because in Dubai they are building the Burj and it will be the next tallest building. they have just announced that the building has 108floors. imagine that!!! (so next stop DUBAI)

it got pretty late and everyone got cranky especially my lola because we were all hungry again. we ended up eating in the streets right beside our motel and head up to rest. actually head up to take our bags there and go to the nearest internet cafe we found which is 24/7 open. the cafe is in the corner of our street so it is really convenient for us. the internet cafe rules. you can drink and smoke inside an aircon room. i dont think there are cafes like that in the philippines. im not drinking though. something new right? well let's see tomorrow what happens.

i have no idea where we are going and the itinerary. but i want to know thought. so i can study the map i have and enjoy.

until then... taiwan wants me to sleep now...

URGENT: Long Evaluation Kept Short for 2007

2008-01-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

i've been saying for the month of december that the year of 2007 was not that good of a year for me. thinking back i can't seem to find something good that happened to me. when 12 o'clock came. the whole year came flashing before my eyes.

i wanted to fill this entry with photos of the past but unfortunately my laptop broke down and almost all my files are lost. except for the ones i have uploaded in my websites. the pictures would have told you otherwise. i had a good year. i may not have had a blooming love life. but life has been good for me.

at the start of the year, i have been blowing off all my time with malling, clubbing, sleeping, eating and breathing. i was so fed up that i got myself a job that won't inquire me to wake up early. and i got just the perfect job in Peoplesupport as a telephone banker for Washington Mutual Bank. reasons i wont go into. to my surprise, i had so much fun that i lasted four months but my lazyness is much more powerful than i am. i quit my job and went back to my old ways.

during my working days (but they were really nights), i would start with a nice shower at around 930pm. and would take my time to clean up so when i go to work, my bosses would smell me and they would love me. oh everyone would know what i mean about that. so moving on... i met a lot of people and i really enjoyed working with them in the short time i was with them. they weren't just co-workers but they became friends and confidantes. during work, they would help out when you need a helping hand, they would also be there for you after work. of course it wouldn't be complete without the autoin (drinking session) everyday after the shift ends. with just two bottles of vodka and some bottles of beer during brunch is the best sessions of my life. how i miss doing that.

there were a lot of reasons why i quit my job. i wasn't really sure if i made the right decision there because plans were all messed up when i was denied a visa to the states. i thought i would have the ultimate vacation but the dream was cut short by the awakening of the snob american lady that didn 't give me even just a month or two of vacation to visit friends and relatives. as if i would want to stay there forever. why would i want that? im living the life here in manila. i have my own car. my dad gives me money whenever. i have a credit card i can use anytime. our fridge is always full. i have a cozy bed to sleep in. i can party whenever. i dont have to work that hard to enjoy myself. which i can't do when i would live in the states. i was thinking of working maybe for a little while of study but to migrate and leave all this? NO!

this may be my ticket to getting away from my family and learning independence that i've been wanting for the longest time but i still have other options.

this year i was able to watch the Beyonce and Fall Out Boy perform live. unfortunately when babyface visited, i got sick for the whole week. and during that time my dad got sick as well and he was confined in the hospital for a week.

we had to travel a lot this year.

Malaysia Truly Asia

Hong Kong! Live it! Love it!

Shanghai Mission Impossible

this amazing year was actually a good year. there were moments of crying for me. actually that would be a lot but lets not go into that. this post is a happy one and lets stick to it. i may have been an asshole this.. so to those who i have hurt, whatever babies!!! hahaha

its actually refreshing to see that entering the new year, there were not much firecrakers around. especially in our house. basically, every year my dad would buy tons of firecrakers and would start lighting them up at 10pm of december 31. but this year, nobody bought any firecrackers. so what our block did was cook lots of food and had a street party all night. everyone was able to hangout outside which usually was impossible because everyone (meaning the girls) are afraid of all the bang. there were smiles on everyones face because every person on our block was able to eat lots of food and there were still a lot of extra.

during the year, i promised someone that i would be blogging a lot this year. but i wasnt able to do that. our internet connection was busted and i didnt have that much energy to write a good entry. i always wanted people to enjoy reading what i type here coz having to read a long one and being boring would be torture for my friends. (geek i cannot promise but i will try to write some more)

i usually have new year's resolution that i don't even do and forget for the next week or so. this year i would just live and see what happens.

no matter what, no regrets!

2008 here we come to rock your world!

You just know

2007-12-02T10:31:00.000+08:00

you just know that you are not home when you look around you see nothing that's familiar and you can't read a damn thing. thats how i felt when my mum and i went to shanghai for almost a week.

its my first time to go there and i loved. Shanghai is actually the New York City of China. everywhere you look there are buildings and even the old china is full of buildings that were built by the French and Americans thats why they all look like New York banks.

you just know that you are not home when you wear the clothes you dont usually wear at home.

you just know that you are not home when you can't understand a single thing that people around you are talking about and they can't understand you back

you just know that you are not home when you can buy anything you like (not the case with me hahaha) i get away with it.

you just know that you are not home when the money you have in your pocket is not enough and you have to visit the money changer to get more yuan

you just know you are not home when you get to sleep really early at night because you are so tired of the day of city tours and shopping.

you just know you are not home when you eat so much food and get away with it. (authentic chinese food baby)

you just know you are not home when you get to wake up early and be very excited of all you can eat buffet breakfast in the coffeeshop of the hotel.

you just know you are not home when you have to pack your stuff at night so you'd know if you can still have last minute shopping in the morning before the bus arrives.

you just know you are not home when you get into a plane and eat not so good plane food and watch movies inside for three hours straight.

you just know you are not home when you get inside the airport.

you just know you are not home

you just know

blah blah blah... the usual rant

2007-11-21T10:01:00.000+08:00

everyday that i wake up i would be turning my stereo on and do some stretches in my room.( so i'd be ready for my yoga). yes i do yoga now. its funny coz i found this old book in our house about yoga for the modern living. i started reading it but really just browsed it for about 30 minutes and realized i have to live a healthy life now. with the family background that we have, i would definitely end up sick when i get much older.

so for the first thirty minutes i would be concentrating with yoga. and after i would be playing the music really loud and dance my heart out till i get really tired then i will rest for few minutes then take a bath. this is so pretentious of me. but i actually just started this last monday.

doing everything that i do... i fell really relieved. i dont know if it is just me of it has been working already. but hey thats just me.

im quite tired of what has been happening. for months now, i stay at home and do nothing. i go out with my friends and just waste money. i kinda miss my job coz i get money from it. but i dont want to work. i have money now coz my dad gives me money but everytime he reaches for my hand, i would feel like a total brat. and i may be good at it.

so recently my whole family went to HongKong. The last time i was there i was really young and of course i was also with my family. its really nice to spend time with them coz you dont have to worry about anything. especially going over the budget. you have a credit card to use and they will give you permission. so shopping is so much fun. now that we are getting older, its much more exciting to travel. you get to remember everything coz you have tons of cameras to remind you of it and also you are old enough to understand everything. also they allow you to roam around by yourselves.

supposedly the whole family is set to travel to beijing. with my cousins fifi and chrissie plus our grandmother. unfortch, the chinese visa was late to be given out. my dad thought it would be a shame if we missed a long vacation without doing anything. so we did.

i want to travel. i want to see the world. i want to own my own company. i want to party. i want to relax. i want to be a chef.. i want to be a photohrapher. i want to be a professional make-up artist. i want everything. i want you!

it was postponed and postponed again. until nov 24, 2007. the trip with my mum and i. jsut the two of us. it really sucks coz the more the merrier. but everybody is busy already. not me and my mum.

i got the talk and got to think that maybe dreams do come true

2007-11-15T08:13:00.000+08:00

lately i haven't been doing anything productive. since i quit (but when telling older people its resigned) from my previous job, i just got to watch more, sleep more and eat more that i did before. thats why i am fat! i admit it. i haven't been in my best shape. because all day i just sit around my ass and mind nothing at all. so it is safe to say that when i think, its a means of exercise for my body as well.

just the other day i was eating lunch with my dad and my mum. we got to talk about this cousin of mine, who is in a top position in HSBC. good pay, good everything. she has it all. of course my dad doesn't expect me to be just like her coz he knows how lazy i am and i'm not the type to be working in an office. pretty much i'm so stubborn i can't really work well with the authorities.

so we were talking about new cameras inside the house.. these are my lomo cameras!

and this is my new digital camera...

my mum asked me if i am going to take photography classes and i got to think about it. my dad told me to take it so i have proper knowledge and then take whatever course i like. coz as long as he cans till pay he is encouraging me to do it.

but studying again? i had to drop my second degree just to be done with that and now that i'm finally free from school, i'll be coming back. thats insane. just like the rain outside. fuck! i hope the flood at home wont be too bad. i'm here at my friends house hanging around coz i'm so bored at home.

i got to think. my plan of studying abroad. to get away and learn independence. or kahit work na lang muna whatever. but the thought of working makes my heart sick. i have studied entrepreneurship for three years in one of the finest schools in the country and i'm just going to be an employee of a company. i really don't mesh well with higher power. but if the pay is really good and its not that stressful i'll be thinking about it.

so that same day when my dad told me to take any course i like, i went online and applied for a short course in culinary. to those i know who heard me tell them that cooking is not really taught but it is practiced... i can't practice at home. well now i am eating my words... i need training and with proper teaching, i can be more of an expert. i can be called a chef?

it has always been my passion to satisfy people. even if i'm such snob. i still like the recognition that i have made someone smile. and with my cooking or anything i concoct inside the kitchen with basically everything inside it, my friends and relatives would surely love.

so i started thinking of possible options i have. and with the people i know and the resources i have i just hope that this would all happen the way i pictured it. it doesn't have to be as smooth but i hope dreams do come true

legal in all countries

2007-07-28T00:39:00.000+08:00

today is officially the first day of a new year for me.

im officially 21 today and i don't feel a year older.

im out of job and im going to find something new for me. i love it. i dont know why. im back to being a bum but i don't feel like its a bad thing. it is actually good.

what can i really do when im legal in all countries? this is gonna be fun... i hope i find everything i need to my satisfaction!

ima ima ima

2007-04-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

FLIRT!

i can't help it....

malaysia truly asia

2007-04-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

i went to malysia.

the place was pretty awesome. i can't believe this is the only time i've been there. i love the food. the shopping and sale and everything. i miss it already. the only thing i dont miss is the smell of the people.

its because of the food. i was eating the same thing but i didnt smell. they just got used to it and wasnt aware it was smelling real bad. someone should tell them though.

i'll come back malaysia.. with more money

letting me go

2007-04-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

he's letting me go. decision is with me now. to be or not to be... i can't really make up my mind. i don't like to be asked to decide. when ideas come to me, they just pop up in my head spontaneously. it doesn't work under pressure. lets just see if i do the right thing now.

im dirrrrrrrrrrrty

2007-04-01T15:03:00.000+08:00

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

Purity Test

MY RESULT:Completely Contaminated

You beast, you. Save yourself now before your mother has a nervous breakdown.

On the eSPIN Purity Scale (patent pending), you score 1 Purity Point out of 6. (Honestly, we’d prefer to make it zero out of 6, but then we’d have to get the authorities involved, and you’d have to hire a lawyer, and, well...it’s more hassle than it’s worth.) Even though, on our scale, you’re pretty much the scum of the earth, there’s still a way for you to redeem yourself and purify your soul. How about an exorcism?

Take This Quiz!

dayshift

2007-03-27T18:56:00.000+08:00

working during the day is normal. but the early dayshift is a bit different. even if you don't see it. you feel the sun above you and you can't think much because you feel its too early for information to stay inside your head.

its super frustrating that even if you really understand what the trainor is saying you can't seem to grasp what it is all about.

its all a big lump in my throat. i can't seem to swallow and digest everything. i need some kind of drink to push it down my body.

HELP?

hours before the early shift

2007-03-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

2 hours before i have to get up and take a shower.

3 hours before i have to leave for work.

4 hours before my early shift starts.

most of the time i get really excited, i would kid myself that i need to sleep early so i wouldn't be late for an engagement or plans i have. i end up thinking about it so much that i wouldn't be able to sleep and i would just stay up all night till i need to do that thing i was thinking about.

right now, its already 1am and i have to be up by 3 to prepare myself and food im gonna eat for work. and because im scared that i wont wake up, i just decide to myself i would not sleep. i actually can do a week without sleep. i just hope i can do it today. im posting this blog just to burn some hours off my surfing the net. coz if i finish doing the usual things, i would really get bored and i would definitely feel tired and would just sleep. i can't predict if the alarm clock of my phone would wake my exhaustion or i would need a hard tug and push to wake me up.

i can really do a week without sleep but if do sleep. i sleep like a baby. everyone can attest to this. i talk when i sleep. i dont feel a thing when im in deep sleep. sometimes though when i set my mind to waking up at a certain time, i would not need an alarm clock to wake me up. my body would just know the time. but sometimes because of a really good sleep, i would not hear the alarm clock even if it sounds for a whole 30 minutes. my ears wont just listen to any sound because my mind thinks i need more sleep.

being part of a family that likes to sleep, i would not be surprised. we all would just rest our heads on apillow and the body would do the trick. it is nap time. but there are times when even hours of lying bed wouldn't do. couting sheeps, drinking hot cocoa or milk, reading a boring book (which by the way i dont own a single boring book), watching tv, or listening to mellow music. all these just doesn't work for me.

earless

2007-03-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

can you imagine life without ears? i can...

life would be very peaceful and less complicated. because you don't have ears to hear things and it would be a little cheaper for your expenses because you don't have to buy cotton buds because you dont have ears to clean.if you are fighting with someone, you won't be able to hear what he or she is saying.

you don't need to think about other people's businesses because you dont hear what they're saying. you won't hear any intrigues, gossips and rumors starting and be part of the problem because you dont have ears. sounds that make you sad would not be there because for you, there is really no sound at all.

hearing a lot is a big problem. sometimes you can't keep everything to yourself and things keep getting bigger and bigger that you can't handle it all with both hands. you just drop everything and breakdown. these are things you can't control. these are what they call the problems you can't run from.

facing it? it would be hard but it would be worth it if you do. you can't run to alcohol, drugs and sex just to forget. you have to face your fears and live your life.

alcohol would let you forget for a night.

drugs would give you more problems.

sex would give you pleasure and pain. but without much protection, you might get a lifetime problem after it.

without hearing, people will have to "listen" (look at other people signing) to other people intently. everyone would understand each other and everyone would live happily ever after. but not really. but you can see the difference when you look at a group full of people who can talk or chat with each other and a group of deaf-mutes.

its a life that we would never know.

before i forget!

2007-03-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

a shout out to my new friend geek! you are a super duper mega friend! i owe you big time! love lots! *hugs&kisses*

my dad called me a whore

2007-03-18T01:21:00.000+08:00

i was told i shouldn't go out tonight. but i was already dressed and my mum insisted i go, so i did. i already fought with my dad over the phone about it. but because i still have respect for him, i would have stayed home if he says so.

i almost did. my mum got home and told me i can go, they're gonna drop me off and pick me up afterwards @ embassy.

it was a typical Lasalle party. IT SUCKED!

i was there, watched friends do a fashion show, listened to lame hosts talk about school and drink a lame vodka-sprite. for P200, it was all not worth it. i was with my friends, yes. i watched some guys strut their stuff, yes. I get to hang out one last time before i go to work, yes. i felt really happy about it, yes.

i didnt have money. i didnt have my own ride. i didnt have a date. WAH!!!

my friends couldn't get in because the bar was already full. i had to leave with them. we left fort and went to greenbelt where i thought i could have a nice long chat with friends and just chill. because i don't have money. we can't go inside absinth. we tried waiting for seats in crocs but there were to many people. until we found coupons from redbox that entitles us for a room and food. it was all so good until my family called me up and told me they were on their way to pick me up.

i wanted to go too. but i haven't even sang a song or even talked to my friends. i didn't even see anyone worth pursuing. ;) it was christmas chrissie kringle all over again.. i left my friends with kisses and a bill of my drink.

i got in the car and they were all quiet. my dad smelled the perfume i sprayed all over my body so he wouldn't smell the smoke and the alcohol i consumed tonight. i didnt like the smell of this perfume as well but it really hides any of my bad habits.

my dad opened all the windows until we got to our house. he was so pissed at me he called me a whore. he used the word puta which in Spanish means whore. i wasn't shocked. i had too much makeup, my top was off my shoulder already and when i got in the car my perfume was really awful and strong.

I wasn't really feeling any tear from my eyes. i was waiting for it. everytime i get to dissappoint my dad, i wold really feel sadness that i have made him angry or frustrated. but that was a long time ago. as i gotten older, i feel he is being a pain in the ass. he is treating me like a child that i feel choked aready from everything.

i felt anger and the heat inside my body is really rising. i was thinking of his fucking mistakes. did i ever do the right thing of not telling. i still feel i should but i couldn't. if only i was a bad daughter, i would've done it a million years ago. but i wasn't.

i may be a whore but i don't do anything to hurt other people. i am a good person. not like you!

i am hooked and i dont know if red is the color

2007-03-16T12:20:00.000+08:00

ANNOUNCEMENT: I would start working March 19, 2007.

they were really good. they made me stay almost the whole day in their office and when the day ended, they offered me a job already. they gave me a day to think about it because i was still hesitant. the company doesn't want me to apply to other companies thats why. they are assured with this process that they wouldn't be compared to any other company, especially their rivals.

i signed with with them the following day. they fooled me. now that i have work, im thinking of ways i would be able to go there and go back home. bringing my own car would be very expensive. taking a cab would be too. commute is the only way.

welcome to the real world baby!

artwork

2007-03-08T21:36:00.000+08:00

LOST VIRGIN BY 6 by: kp

THE ONLY WAY OUT by: kp

ENTER THE UNKNOWN by: kp

EXPOSED by: kp

artist

2007-03-08T00:39:00.000+08:00

have you ever felt that when you have a lot going on with you, you just keep silent and let it all happen without doing anything or reacting to it. im not really making much sense.

people are trying to push me but im not saying anything. i just dont want to make a big deal out of it. but trying to ignore everything is quite getting in me. everything keeps piling up on me that i can't balance myself already. i've been crying everynight. literally. i can't stop tearing up like what i am doing now.

i want a way to get this all out. at first i started writing. i picked up a pen and my journal but i can't seem to write the feeling away. i went out with my friends so i can drink the pain away but the hangover made me more fucked up. i tried everything i can till.............

my brother came to me asking for help with his project. i didnt like art. because im not good in drawing or even coloring for that matter. i remember when i was a kid, i would one of those coloring books but end up messing them up because im not really into it. i was just doing what other kids are doing those times.

back to my brother, he has all kinds of art materials. i got the oil pastel a clear paper and started drawing. trying my best to tell a secret from a picture. without being to clear just yet. more abstract kind of drawing is what i can do...

pictures of masterpieces will be launched soon!

WARNING: ANXIETY KILLS

2007-03-06T22:40:00.001+08:00

i want to leave my house. leave and go as far away as possible. run as fast as i can to get to he otherside of this world so i can start a new. i always have to have my parents approval because i still ask money from them.

i dont want to sound like im only after the money but of course im still depedent. thats why i decided to find work, i want to separate myself like a normal adult would do. be independent from his/her parents. its the facts of life. it doesnt have to be a full separation but just a mindset that they do not control me anymore. i can make my own decisions and i should suffer the consequences it comes with.

this is also the reason why i want to leave the country. in another country i can learn how to be alone. i can learn how to take care of myself without helpers to serve you food, to wash and your clothes, to clean your room and other stuff that even without a helper i can do. i can earn my own money.

yes! i can earn my own here as well but with the job offerings in my line of work, it wouldnt be enough for an apartment, a car, food and other needs for a month. that means i would live under the house of my father and that means i would have to abide by his rules still even if i dont ask for money anymore.

independence is what i want. privacy! thats a thing i dont have in this place. i want to experience it. i want to travel, i want to have fun. i want to enjoy the sufferings that can help me be the person i want to be... but if you ask me who this person is? i can't answer you.

my decisions are very impulsive. i dont even know if i want it. but i have to start somewhere right? i want to start here and step-by-step, one day at a time, i can be more independent than i was yesterday.

tomorrow, if i receive a call before lunchtime, im in! i can't seem to feel happy. if i do get in, i can't do what i usually do everyday. sleep late, stay home and care about the world. back to reality really bites. you can't do what you want because you work for someone and working for someone is the first thing i dont like. but i have to suck it in! i have to do it if i want to progress.

earlier, i had my interview with jerome, the recruitment guy. i wanted to look for an approval in his eyes but i can't. he was very distant and very proper. i wanted to see that i got in. i want the assurance of a job. but all he said was wait for a call that he's going to endorse me to the supervisor. he can't do anything for me. he's just the guy to interview people.

now i can't stop thinking about the call. when i was going home. i thought i was having an episode - an anxiety attack. i kept lighting up a stick after another and can't stop till i finished 10 sticks in an hour. i couldn't talk, i could not walk, i was just sitting by the bench beside my friend.

with that hour, i thought i was going to die. as if my mind and heart stopped functioning. i kept thinking that my life starting over again and i have to talk a long pause to really enjoy it. but the enjoyment got to me. i guess. it was a longer pause. an empty one. i didnt feel life.

getting out of my chest

2007-03-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

there was this feeling i can't get out. it was this air i keep feeling inside my chest. i wanted to burp it out but i can't. its the reason for my hangover the whole day. no water can take it out. its been clogging me all day. until i woke in my nap, and burped the saving burp of the century... hangover all gone...

lets learn something new

2007-03-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

i've been kinda interested in the romanian culture as it really is interesting. the people there have invented a lot of stuff that we are using now.

THE JETS

INSULIN

BEER / WINE

more...

the language originated from the Latin langauge and is very similar to four other languages. So Ovid, the guy i met online started to send me a song. i really wanted to translate the thing but it took me a long time though so he told me what the song meant.

Se spune ca vremea e frumoasa atunci cand in suflet e soare
Se spune ca ploaia-i mai rece atunci cand in suflet te doare
Se spune ca vantul nu bate deloc cand iubesti
Dar frunzele toate se misca, sa stii ca-mi lipsesti (sa stii ca-mi lipsesti)

Refren:Te voi astepta
Toata vianta mea,
Doar iubïrea ta
Ma poate salva.

Translation:
they say the weather is beautiful when your soul is filled with sunshine
they say the rain is colder when your soul hurts
they say the wind doesn t blow at all when you love
but all the leaves move,you should know that i miss you...

i will wait for you
all my life
only your love
can save me

around the world in one night

2007-03-01T18:12:00.000+08:00

can you imagine that you can see the world in one night?

I CAN

the internet is really great. you can see things fro around the world and learn things from it. you can even talk to people from other parts of this world we live in.

for example i have met this guy. he's from romania. we started sending messages for about 3 hours from this site and ended up asking for each others yahoo messenger. and for more than 12 hours now we've been chatting and we got a chance to talk to each other because of the internet. this is so amazing.

and he is so damn cute! he looks like andy roddick!

his name is ovidiu alexandru craciun. he's 22, studying history and english in his senior year in a university in romania. single i might.

he told me to download skype so that we can talk. so i did. it didnt take a while and he added me up and we started talking for 15 minutes. his mom called him though to eat lunch so we said our goodbyes. after an hour, he's online again and right now we are still chatting...

how we wish we could meet. but he's about 8000 miles away. maybe when he visits the philippines or somewhere else...

jealousy...

2007-03-01T02:27:00.000+08:00

you keep denying things you feel and show anger when you really are jealous. people you know have their lives figured out but you get to stay at home and watch. if you can't figure out what you want in life, you can't pull those people down until you get get yourself together.

if life is fair, this is how its suppose to be. you don't have to live the life they want but live a life you want. it doesnt have to be now but live it one day at a time. you can't get everything all at the same time. your 10 fingers can't handle them all at the same time. you have your own plan. sacrifices are needed but all the things you want for yourself shouldn't be taken.

they call it "compromise". i think. but this word is not known to everyone. as selfish as you are. everybody wants everything. but you cant have everything. like the wife of agamemnon, clytemnestra said, you can't everything you want. but if the gods will it, you will.

i have to start doing things for myself. i have to start somewhere right. if i dont, i will be left to rot. how? how? hope i figure it out soon!

party with no booze

2007-02-25T01:24:00.000+08:00

what has been happening? i keep attending parties not serving any kind of booze...

i first i waited for my parents to sleep and i snuck out of my house to party with some friends at their place. it was cool coz they have a big pool in their backyard. and i love pools...

my friend is a aspiring chef and is very good at it. he served us with great meals and of course when i want to take some pictures, i dont have my camera with me.(my brother borrowed it to upload something and didnt return the cam to me that night. the food was great.

for appetizers: Smoked gouda and prosciutto panini

for the main course: Portabella mushroom pasta in gorgonzola artichoke sauce

on the side of: apple something salad with lots of greens

and for dessert: is the most famous "chloe's banana cream pie and baked cheesecake topped with any fruits of your choice"

all this complimented with water instead of a nice bottle of Merlot or Pinot Noir

NO BOOZE? i also miss the fondue set chloe...

an evening of nothing to do, i went over again to a friends house. the usual drunkard that he was, got me really shocked when he served tea or coffee of your choice. you can choose from donuts to cereals to anything that is edible inside the house.

freddy? is that you? what happened? NO BOOZE?

am i missing something here? have i been sleeping for a 100 years that people stopped drinking too much alcohol?

tonight i went to my family friend's birthday bash. i was shocked we got there and not a single person is holding a bottle of beer (the obligatory drink of parties). people taking lots of pictures. chatting singing, playing with the "adorable" kid, and eating lots of good food.

NO BOOZE? shouldnt be a shocker coz her parents are very strict. we chowed down the food and ate away the bowl of pistachio that is sitting infront of me. we were all wishing that the water was gin and the coke had rhum, but it wasn't. IT WASN'T!

i dont know what happened to this world. but i want the old one back!!!

what you can do when you have lots of makeup...

2007-02-23T01:37:00.000+08:00

the other night while as always i was super awake. my cousins were recording some songs and i was stuck at home listening to them play. as i was bored of surfing the net. i decided to take my caboodles (filled with all my make-up collection) out and play with myself.

freaky saturday

2007-02-20T14:56:00.000+08:00

as always i was expecting to stay home and live the bum life. stay inside my room and surf the net. that's my life for the past 5 months. im not complaining. how can you complain when you dont have to be distracted by deadlines, bills and the grownup stuff you need to be dealing with - money!

im not yet working. and i dont know if i want to. its still unclear. nobody can help me right now. i dont know if i already need a shrink to gather my thoughts and organize it like it was before.

i had nothing to do so when my mum told me to go to dress up and go to my brother's school, i did. but it took me almost three hours to get to the school and when i got there she was there already and she was thinking that i decided not to go and im still in bed.

the usual family day actuvity happened... my brother was wearing a pink shit where a hanging pink cartolina with a big colorful peace sign was on it. he was next to dance in the school grounds. i was getting my camera ready for the pictures i would be taking.

after watching them dance, my mum asked me to buy something to drink and to eat. because the program was over, there were a lot of people buying some food. and as time passes, the crowd's getting thinner because they're not interested in watching the volleyball game of the parents or even playing bingo afterwards.

the whole time i was thinking after eating, we would be going home already. but to my surprise. my other brother was in his other school having his own family day as well.

we had to go there and support him. with his cheer and games. it was a total meltdown. i didn't want to commute going home because it was too hot and because i thought there would be food there as well. i was disappointed and frustrated because not only was it hot in there, there were no good food or any cold cold drinks there.

my whole saturday became a family day.

something happened it was funniest thing. a teammate of my brother talked to me. it was so funny because he came up to me all shy and said hi. haha he was kinda hitting on me... dont tell my brother...

it was so weird and i think the word to describe it pedophilia. coz he was very cute. but he's 17. oh my god! i can't believe and find that kid (KID!!!!!) attractive. he's my type of guy. athletic, bald, tan and not that tall. he was having a hard time making me laugh and he just keeps on joking a lot.

tsk tsk tsk.

if only you were older...

the color of my eyes doesn't lie

2007-02-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)
Sunrise You have sunrise eyes. Sunrise is the color of joy and elation. Your eyes symbolize your general sense of wellness. Your confidence and high self-esteem each and every day make you the person people want to be around. You are a very creative, passionate, and sexual person. You are not afraid to tell people what you think of them, whether good or bad. Some words to describe you: self-assuredness, out-going, busy, cheerful, bright, amiability, courage, successful, creative, personable, happiness, motivational, optimistic, strong, and aware.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

i dont know what to do.

2007-02-15T17:56:00.000+08:00

i keep coming back to the very beginning. i can't seem to figure out what i want in my life. it bugs me that im envious of people around me knowing what they want and having the guts to do it. i want my life. i want progress but i can't do it. the person that i was is gone. the person that speaks up her mind and the person that gets things done has vanished.

*poof*

im feeling empty. i don't want to feel like this forever. the drive that i once had isn't there when i needed it. i had a plan. it was all working out so perfectly but when people talk to me about it, i blank out. i stop. i think and i never do anything. study, put up my own business and become rich. travel and have fun. thats what's my life is all about. but now, that my life is about to start i can't seem to start the engine. i keep missing the keyhole of the ignition and drop the keys.

i have to get back on track. do i listen to what everybody says or just follow what my instincts tell me...?

calls are made and i can't even decide.
my brain is not working and can't process.
HELP!

valentine's...

2007-02-13T01:02:00.001+08:00

happy valentine's day to everyone! im sorry but as always im not again in the mood for a celebration. i think valentines day is overrated and its just an excuse for the greeting cards, flower, chocolates industry to make money.

having a date wouldn't be bad and this day must be everyday. i mean you don't have to be extra sweet because its valentines. be sweet to your loved ones because you want to. not jsut because there is an occassion. its so sad that we waste so much money on material things when you can just say what you feel. they're only words. what's the worst thing that could happen? words would eat you?

its hard to express what you feel. how about a kiss? a kiss always means something. a kiss of love, care and devotion! it would make everyone feel special and loved with just one kiss...
try it. valentines would definitely be overrated.

last song syndrome

2007-02-01T16:28:00.000+08:00

making it work

2006-12-09T01:20:00.000+08:00

everything has been quite expensive these days. felice, zaza and i are trying to make some money out of baking and selling some cookies and oatmeal bars. we've been putting a lot of money and effort and a whole lot of time trying to make this work so we could have money enough for some shopping or just dream of going somewhere. (its only a dream...)

looking for materials that are cheaper and it took us places where we really have to feel the heat of the sun. it wasn't pleasant. if only you would to go out of the house and find sand and a beach to go to. or just a small swimming pool to dip in in the afternoon.

we are not rich, we have to work. i just hope it wouldn't take to much of my energy and it would mean less time and more fun. of course those jobs or career paths are taken only by the richer ones and as everyone knows i'm not one of them. (don't counter)

i have dreams, i have problems, i have so many things in my head, i want to stop thinking and just do things i want. if only i have the money. i hope my plan works. it doesn't have to perfect but atleast successful enough to make me go through life healthy and independent.

i really want to study more. to make me more knowledgeable of things i should do in order to run my company well. the problem is i have to have experience. i specialize in Entrepreneurship. i dont know how to work for a company. at first i was trying to apply for companies but in the end, i told myself that working in the corporate world is not for me. i have turned down a lot of companies and i can't even count them with my fingers. i have chosen a path i think is the wrong turn to "my success".

i've been thinking about the future a lot lately. i feel now that i'm getting older and older. i don't need the number in my age to tell me this but the responsibilities that keep coming and they keep piling up in all those stacks. i can't stop them and if i don't answer to them now, when will i ever will. i think this is the time. i have to decide. i know there is more time in my life but the list jsut keeps on getting longer and longer and my time shorter and shorter for all those things to happen.

work / career / future

love / life / family / friends

how can you balance all these things when you only have two hands, two feet, one mind, one heart?

dressed up for the mall

2006-12-03T01:38:00.000+08:00

the whole day today is like any other day for me. i woke up late and took a bath, fixed my bed, surf the net and went to fifi's to talk. just the usual stuff. and of course we end up talking about anything that came to mind and just got bored until we had to meet up with pam, arvin, ate, j and giles.

it was the night of picking our babies for the chrissie kringle. of course this kris kringle is very popular these days as its very expensive to give gifts to your loved ones.

pam emailed us a week ago asking if we want to have the chrissie kringle and we agreed to the rules laid out. we had to pick our babies and each baby has written down 10 things that is at most p1000 worth and you would just pick from the list so that you won't have a hard time looking for a gift for everyone and making the person like the gift you give. also its a very good way to save some money. (as if i have money to save?)

a trip to mall is like a trip to the other room of house for me. i usually don't need to dress up and obviously i couldn't really care less. now i like dressing up. i dont get to wear all my clothes so this is the perfect time to wear them. i dont even care what other people say about what i wear and how i look like i just wear what is comfy and what i feel.

i looked like this

fifi and i got to talk about how it is weird to be dress up real nice and ride the LRT and MRT to go somewhere. people would be looking at you and stare and laugh. that's what i would do if i see someone like that.

we got there and i finally bought myself my own badger sleep enhancer.

we ate dessert at Dairy queen. the most bloggable thing happened. felice noticed the name written in the receipt was "PELISH". just when you thought that Venice is funny. this comes up. i laughed so hard the girl asked me if she got it wrong. she just apologized because she didn't hear the name that well. but of course there is a much worse story. some store and i think it was starbucks, where the barista wrote the word "PENIS" down the cup. or the time the maid SMSed felice and spelled her name as "PILES". understandable for them because they are Bisaya. but the Barista from Starbucks and the employee from DQ. Shame on you! hahaand played a little in timezone. we had our picture taken at the adlib of wind. it was so much fun. at first we thought we complete and figured out in the end of the first shots that giles wasn't in any of the pictures. we repeated the shots again and the vanity in all of us got out and gone wild.

salamin album launch

2006-11-30T01:10:00.000+08:00

what a night. for the first time, i went to an album launch of an upcoming band - SALAMIN. eo, the friend of zaza is the drummer and the whole band rocks. suprisingly the event was flowing with familiar faces and celebrities. the band's vocalist is the son of gary v. and he sings well. i remember him when he played in the broadway show the lion, the witch and the wardrobe. not that long ago i might add.

oh the night went good. at first we had a hard time locating the street where the bar is located but sometime during our nth cruise around the same streets we got to where we needed to be without zaza crying her eyes out(let's not talk about it here).

i didn't bring money to buy the cd so i will just wait till i get a hold of them another time and get them to sign my cd. the band was good. something i would be fond of listening. didn't sound like bamboo or hale. unique! and i love it.

i wanna see them play again. or maybe we could play together. i hope. unless they're too popular to play at small-time bars.

at the end of the event. all the singing and the dancing(which i still waiting for) and the press conference, we had the chance to meet and greet the band members.

paolo - vocals
justin - lead
miks - bass
bogs - rhythm
eo - drums (i hope i got them right!)

took pictures of them,

with them

and us of course.

a lot of things on my mind

2006-11-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

there has been a lot of things happening since my boracay trip last september.

1. i graduated last october 14, 2006 at PICC with all the other lasallians

2. mozzie is back in business

3. i've been looking for a job and been too lazy to go to my interviews

4. hitting the gym every once in a while to get into shape so the time i go back to boracay i would be deserving to wear my swimsuits.

5. shopping for a lot of DVDs, watching a lot of TV shows from my mini DVD player and staying up til everybody would be awake the next day

6. trying to sell goods that i've made

all this and you can call me the unemployed or in short - the BUM!

final freedom

2006-09-23T02:01:00.000+08:00

as i woke that last day in boracay i wanted the time to move slower than ever. i know that we didn;t have time to go to the pool or have a short dip in the beach. we had to prepare to go home. we had our breakfast and nevver did we get to have breakfast together after the first morning. everybody wanted to move at a slower pace than usual.

as always this would mean the end of the photo op in the beach. the more we had to move faster because our ride would pick us up at exactly 12pm. we took a lot of pictures of the last time we would ever see white sand in months... (we would be going back this january for sure).

make us...

cry...

i was tired and exhausted. im feeling all the non-sleep i have been having since day one. i wanted to go with the last trip to d'mall with pam, ate and fifi but i just dont want to move anymore.

we were the cause of delay everybody. the moment the service picked us up, the girls weren't back yet from their accessory shopping to the boat ride and the bus ride back to kalibo.
never again will i land in kalibo. the bus ride is long and my back really hurts.

i'm feeling the sunburn all over my body. im itchy and my body aches. even if the vacay was suppose to be relaxation, the trip was still exhausting. the walk from the resort to d'mall. the whole station 1 to station 2 was long and hot... even more when the tricycle squeezed the 6 of us in one and charged us P60 then P50 then P4o. the walk became more and more exhausting.

we got into the plane tired but couldn't stop taking pictures of ourselves.

the view from the top

the clouds

the profile

the beautiful world

we called it freedom part II

2006-09-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

Friday, September 15, 2006
not that early early morning but still the early bird. still excited, but not dressed up anymore. i went to get our breakfast voucher and ate already. i was hungry already but there was no tocino. so breakfast was not as good as the other day but i ate more. HUH? weird right. i had more space for food maybe because i went to the bathroom first before eating giving me enough for breakfast.

its the same thing all over again but funner!

looking at secret accessories thanks to giles.

getting ready for lunch at jammers

pictures at sunset

under the sun

water upto my feet.

last pose with a bathing suit on

someone was sleeping still...

Last Night

the night unlike any other night. we went for our last mexican galore. had a couple of drinks and partied and club paraw.

the ape in her last dinner. hopefully not the last trip.

outside club paraw. spotting some cute guys in the dark.

kulang. wala na naman si arvin. hindi ka nagtatago ngayon pero kala siguro nung waiter hindi ka kasama sa pic. a lesson you have to learn. when the camera is pointing at you try not hide but smile... :D

not drunk at all just plain fun

dancing when nobody was

peeps who got a little to drink

as three of the oldies left to rest, we were left to enjoy the our last night.

giles, his friends and family joined us in club paraw. we had a litle number of our own around the table. cool fam!

danced the night away...

danced some more...

the more i will never forget the night...

we called it freedom part I

2006-09-21T12:45:00.000+08:00

i had a thought all of it was just a dream. as i was feeling in my stomach as the plane was leaving the ground, i felt it was all real!!! the flood replaced by the clear seawaters made me feel i have left. i am an adult that can be trusted with not doing anything stupid.

it was funny coz this trip was planned 6 months ago and i bought my ticket just a week before we left for boracay. but my excitement was much more or almost the same as the other 5 people in this trip. it has been marked as my first ever trip without any parent around.

OH PLEASE! i can be trusted i didn't go out partying all night. i had control. and maybe because im afraid that my relatives and friends would be shocked i they see me go wild. the fact that half of us sleep early and are not used to drinking and just went to boracay for relaxation. i can't blame them it was a perfect place. and the timing was just right. not the time of the year when the island would be full of people and it would be like walking in the corridors and bumping into friends who you don't want to see or hangout with.

it was all peaceful and refreshing.

during the trip, i had to ask money from my dad of course as i just finished school. (waiting for the march on october 14) i still don't have money so i had to ask for money. i wasn't used to going to a different place where i really have to budget my money so i can still go out the next night or eat something good the next. i have to start living. i was thinking a lot of going to find work and earning money so i can go out whenever i want to coz i have the money to and can afford to.

i don't want to be the daddys-little-girl-who-can-get-money-anytime-anywhere-for-anything. my friends think that i am that girl. because i always have the latest gadgets, the expensive clothes it doesn't mean i want that life. of course i want a life where i can sit back relax but i have to work hard for it.

the life in the beach is what i want to have when i have my own business. i want that to have in my future.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006
i got up really early and gave fifi and ate a call. of course they didn't answer the phone but i have their helper wake them up. i went to bathroom and took a bath as tired as i was, i went inside the shower and prepared me and my bag. "this is really happening! i can't believe it. fuck me if this is a dream!"

i was up early that i checked the if they're ready and to ask if what time we would be leaving the house to get a cab. i also had time for a morning coffee. this is so that i could not fall asleep or anything while waiting for them. of course, as my first time to go on a trip without my parents, they were both in my room and checking if i have everything i need and had not brought anything they think might get stolen during the trip. (i know they're just concerned but i'm a big girl and i'm not the type of person who would run around and show off every goddamn gadget i have so that everybody could see.

when i was drinking my coffee, my dad went down and asked me why we're still at home, i went to the other house and asked them to leave. my lola made a comment i thought i would just forget, but i was kinda hurt. she told me that i should already get dressed when i was already dressed. just when you thought she would just be silent and kiss us goodbye, she would open her mouth and make that comment, look me from head-to-toe and have that look. (okay im still bitter) can you imagine, she compares a shirt i bought in thailand to a second-hand shirt that was bought in ukay-ukay. i can't believe it.

as we left, i was still talking about that comment until we got into the cab. it was funny, we were looking for a cab and had to walk for about a quarter of a mile to spot a cab that thankfully had its tires aired(?). well allas we got into the cab and got into the airport. we had our bags checked-in and met up with pam, arvin and J. we were waiting for the plane when it finally arrived we thought we had to drink the coffee we had just bought so we could get on the plane. but we just held on to the cup of coffee (that was one of the worst coffee i have had) and to the chocolate crossaint that i finished even before entering the plane.

freaky though coz there was this one guy that kept looking at us the whole trip and when the flight attendants were conducting the game and we were laughing as we were raising up a lot of stuff, he was laughing and looking at us. he looks like a terrorist. and he has liquids with him.

Viola!

we we're in boracay!

the water is oH-so-clear. and the sun is so bright(and i liked it), there was wind, waves, fresh air(?). it felt good.

we got into our rooms and changed the moment we got there. put on our sunblock and run to the beach to take pictures. and i warn you... there will be a lot of pictures in this post. we got there around lunch and as we were hungry for food. i was hungry for pictures. the water, the sun and the beach. i wanted more.

we were waiting for everyone to get dressed so we enjoyed the sun. when i say we i mean me and ate. we were so excited. as she hasn' been out of the house for almost 8 years and i have been on house arrest for almost 3 months. we all are excited, but some of us are just a little bit afraid of the dark.

we took our first tricycle ride and it was such a waste of money, we had to tricycles and they charged us P50 each. this forced us to walk back home.

we were on a journey to eat at the recommended restaurants by J's sister, we came across this little mexican place and argued if we were gonna eat there or not. of course i wanted to try it. im a sucker for authentic mexcian food. as we would throw a small taco & margarita party in our homes.

we walked back to our place and just as relaxing, played by the shore and talked. just like in the movies. it took me about an hour and i already got my tan. we went for a dip in the beach when we realized that nobody would be dipping with us. everyone just wanted to dip into the pool and read their books and listen to their mp3's and not get any sun around them. that sucks! the only person who dared to can't coz it hurts her legs when she gets into saltwater. i couldn't really remember if we had our rest that afternoon but some got their massage and others had the last dip before it gets dark.

we went back to d'mall and had our dinner and planned to play cards after a short nap and as i was left watching movie, two hours after, that my two roommates wouldn't get up again. so i just continued watching White Chicks Uncut and CSI and Martha and i can't remember the other shows. as always... TV - enough said.

Thursday, September 14, 2006
i only got about 5 hours of sleep and i run outside to look at the beautiful beach and run inside again to wake everybody up and took a quick bath so i can jump to the pool right after a good breakfast.

unfortch, the pool opens at 9am and i finished breakfast earlier than expected. i thought i would have a very big appetite but the power of the tocino wasn't that strong.

with all the excitement and energy i had, i almost forgot the most important thing. to put on sunblock. because i burn my skin faster than any other person, i had to put on more but i didn't as you would see how dark i am now. even with the correct light, i still am just the teeth. we got into the the water expect we doesnt mean two. it was six. haha

felice attempted her first sand castle. we had our photoshoot in the water and finally got ate to agree on burrying her in the sand. and as we planned to make her a very sexy mermaid, she became this. we posed with her. despite our best efforts she looked a bit different from a very sexy mermaid. describe it yourself.

we had an early start, i just couldn't believe that we were all up even before lunch as that never happens at home. we went to lunch and heavens came upon us. the little authentic Mexican joint was to die for. but it was little too expensive than we thought it would. and im thankful that we did eat there. as i would go back for some more.

more photos, more relaxations, more beach, more sun, more tan...

we had to take a little nap before we go for sailing. i woke up an hour before the thing when i really wanted to take a dip into the pool. so i passed by pam's room and asked them what time we should be ready. i took a dip and changed into normal clothes. and to my mistake, i didn't have my bathing suit on.

we went sailing and got all wet. it was so fun but i can't stop thinking that i would drown or the sailboat would tumble over and we would be eaten by something under water. my imagination was wild. i just didn't tell anyone about it. but it was worth it.

we had to have another amusing photoshoot. took another dip in the pool and got ready for dinner. we ate at seafood lovers and i liked the food. quite a change from the expensive lunch we had at heavenly manana to this very beachy feel of seafood. pam got ready to go to work when we decided to get our henna tattoos. i choose to get my name written in old english font and a butterfly to give a girly feel to it. so i won't look like a hooligan. which in the end i did.

we had our picture taken with the very nice sand castle and walked our way to the resort and had our tattoos dry up outside under the night sky. we got our gin and juice out and concocted a drink of our own to enjoy. CHEAP! we played sunka where i was such a loser.

we thought that we we're all going to stay out there and play cards but arvin wasn't feeling very well and pam had to look after him. ate was a bit tired so she left us and didn't come back from washing her henna tattoo off. Fifi, J and i finished the drinks and decided that nobody would be coming back so we went to our rooms and called it a night. i on the other hand wasn't sleepy so i waited until it was about 2pm until i finally felt sleepy and called it a night.

set the alarm and slept for a bit...

we called it freedom

2006-09-18T12:57:00.000+08:00

ONE DAY LEFT

2006-09-12T00:22:00.000+08:00

the long wait is over...

6 people about to conquer white sands, blue waters, blue skies and nature's goodness.

boracay here we come to invade and enjoy!

accessories for sale

2006-09-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

contact me at 59thconcept@gmail.com for inquiries.

im beautiful...

2006-08-26T21:03:00.000+08:00

and another

and another

and im not contented...

maybe just one more

another

one last

i promise

one last

whew!

see im beutiful. you are too

try it!

hell is giving me parole

2006-08-20T19:30:00.000+08:00

my last two days of college academic life. soon i will be graduating.

HOPEFULLY!

photo oP!

2006-07-31T23:19:00.000+08:00

THEME #1 diva

THEME #2 Rockstar

THEME #3 80's Trend

its my birthday!

2006-07-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

tina's back

2006-07-25T19:48:00.000+08:00

for this weekend, i guess it was longest that i didn't like. the whole time it was raining and you can't get anywhere without a car. so we are all forced to stay at home and order in. and their were a few days that it was flooded outside the house. and today the flood came i our house already. its so disgusting.

so this time, i its not just the usual people. tina is an addition to the gang. we've been playing cranium, eating piZza and just hangging around. taking pictures of everything.

so for the whole weekend we do nothing but hangout at fifi's room and sing and play and do whatever. until we decided to go out and watch a movie. we were rushing coz we are going to be late for the movie and the only thing good is pirates of the carribean. we left the house and took two cabs going to glorietta but we got there 10-15 minutes late and we said that 15 minutes of the movies is quite long that we must have missed a lot from the movie already so we head towards the place we love best - TIMEZONE.

we played basketball and percussion masters and of courser our own world cup. it was so funny we made a bet that whoever loses would have to treat the winning team for ice cream. The game got really rough and it was really noisy as if you are really in the world cup rooting for beckham or ronaldo or cruz.

then we had dinner in ACCI and sang with the pianist a lot of songs and just laughed our asses of with singing and making jokes. taking pictures of course with every move and made every minute count because we had classes tomorrow. but my dad announced that we dont have class still the next day so stayed till late and the pianist was leaving.

felice calls me up and tells me tina wants to see me. i didn't know she was staying at the other house. i would have visited her already. instead of cleaning my room (cleaning this)i would rather talk to someone. so i got there and was telling stories and laughing about i can't remember what.

because of my late post. tina left the other day already. we got to bring her to the ayala museum. i was so cool. the only problem is that cameras are not allowed even if you pose with a lifesize cutout of jose rizal. you pay for an amount of money then you can't get a chance to show the world you've been to a museum for the first time.

if only i wasn't grounded tina. i would have had the chance to show you around more. and if only i don't have that much work in school. and if only i had a car. ehehe

the photoshop we just had to do

2006-07-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

thats why we love photoshop!

i can't believe i have these personality disorders

2006-07-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

the weekend i am missing

2006-07-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

three weeks ago, my three brothers and i were left to the supervision my great lola. as i said that my mum and dad went to for god knows where to find our list of bilin and other pasalubong.
so for that week, literally me and my cousins were partying every night and literally till the sun is shining. no sleep. no lonely night. just having fun.

my cousin, utoy, and i were making up different pulutan for different drinks and every night different topics of conversation with the camera and a bottle of a different alcohol is present. we would talk about anything and we would try to invite just anyone so that it wouldn't end up that we are the only ones who are drinking. as they say that the more the merrier. i say that is true but you shouldn't underestimate the power of two!

from the day that my mum left for japan, i have invited friends over for dinner and little drinking. and that little drinking turned out to be the whole week of freedom for me. everynight since june 30, we didn't miss a night of not staying up till morning. with little sleep we would head back to school and would meet up at home for the next house party we wanted to have.

it was so much fun that i wished my mum and dad would have stayed for another day or two. with my situation, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me since the day i started to go to school again this term. i have been prevented from going anywhere or to do anything that i really want. except i guess for shopping.

i was talking to a friend of mine the other day when she visited me one evening in starbucks waiting for my last class. she was telling me that i can't seem to stop to amaze me that i have survived months of just waiting. i was telling her that i have to. i can't breakdown in the middle when i already made it this far. in the inside, i have been afraid of a lot of stuff. my future, the present and the past.

the week that i have partied made me think of these things but still had the chance to unwind. to free myself from some things. but it also made me feel that i have to go back and make everything straight and finish life in college.

when the cat is left alone, her friends come out and play

2006-06-30T12:26:00.000+08:00

my mum and dad are out of the country right this very minute. my dad is in the states having a vacation and my mum went to japan this morning. i am left with my brothers and my lola. that wouldn't be a problem at all.

HOUSE PARTY!

tonight we're gonna party all night long. this post will be a pre-post for all the people out there to know that i'm gonna have fun tonight. i'm gonna make the most out of this week so i could survive the rest of the two months.

BOOZE!

MUSIC!

FOOD!

FRIENDS!

The perfect combo to make a perfect party! to chill and have fun all night long.

earlier i went to the grocery and this is what i bought.

LASINGAN NA TO!

LTO is not that bad

2006-06-28T14:05:00.000+08:00

i can't believe im back in the LTO fixing my license for the second day. i don't know if its the priveledge of getting my license already or the people i get to meet. yes. you can meet people inside the LTO. and they're not just people but they're cute as well.

it started yesterday when right after school i planned to go to makati to let some people fix me up with my license. of course i don't want to get into those lines and wait for hours so that they could get atleast 5 pictures and signatures. i should've asked them to pay my talent fee.

there was no issuance of new license in makati. so we tried going to mandaluyong coz we know some people there. when we got there unfortch, there is no more LTO there. so we end up going to tayuman which is very near my house. i got my drug test, the aid told me to pee in the bottle but i couldn't for like 10 minutes inside the small cubicle. and it was kinda gross coz i have my period. well lets not go into details. so when i got there, we got ourselves a fixer, the one who always runs our papers in the LTO. so i thought it would only take an hour or so.

but i was wrong. so wrong. it took me two. not two hours but two days. yes. the most efficient system of the LTO can process your papers for two days. for P1000, the wait is worth it.

so i got there, there was this other guy they were trying to fix. so i just sat there waited for my name to be called and just texted everyone i know so i wont get bored. after 30 minutes, i couldn't help myself, i talked to the other guy beside me coz he was kinda cute and looks kinda mabait. i know.... its called flirting.

we got to talk for four hours straight and we just talked, talked, talked, and talked. i mean we just didn't stop. we were exchanging stories of whatever comes up. stories about everything. families, friends and whatever. he always asks and i answer then i ask back but he answers with patawa and asks me another question that i will just answer again without thinking that he wasn't really talking that much. of course i got to talk and i don't really mind. but i got some info on him too. he's a taekwondo something, lives in novaliches kingspoint subdivision, from batangas and studying in PCU(just in the same place as my school - TAFT).

until the person called us, told us that we have to go again tomorrow for our exams. FUCKER!!!! i really hate LTO for that. but then again, it was worth it.

so we said our goodbyes when my mum called. they were outside already picking me up. i totally forgot to ask for his number so i could message him when i get back today. i was so me. i never get the numbers of people. they usually ask for mine. yabang!!! haha

when i woke up the next day, i thought of my plan for the day. time im going to the LTO, how and the little details. it was so obvious i really wanted to go. i told my mum i would just go straight from school. i'll just ride the LRT. haha i was so excited!

my driver texted me and told me to go home first, we have it was so sad coz i could have gone earlier. but then something would have happened instead. so i was all good.

we got there and we were looking for the fixer again and found the guy with marvin. that's the name of the guy i was talking to the entire time. it was so clear that if i didn't talk to this guy, i would have a frown on my license right now. he was there and he was wearing red(like he told me yesterday) funny!

he was finished with his exam already and he was suppose to wait for me but some guy pushed him to the exam room. he showed me the way to the exam room and told me what i have to do. i finished the test in 30 minutes because it was kinda easy. but i was confused with the street lines. broken yellow lines and the like. i didn't read that part of the reviewer. but i wasn't really scared about it coz everything else is common sense. so when i went down, i was waiting for the result, marvin was there saving me a seat. (ehem!) so talked again and stopped when our names would be called and go back to the topic we were discussing before it was INTERRUPTED by the LTO guys.

he got his license an hour earlier than i did. he was so hungry that he invited me to lunch. in Jollibee. nothing really special just an ordinary lunch with a new friend of mine. but then again, do i consider it as a date? he paid for the i ate.

so when we were there he asked what i wanted and i didn't hesitate to order but i was really not hungry so i just ordered a spaghetti meal. and he was asking me if that would be all. maybe because i was fat that's why he was doubting me if im in a sort of diet or something. but i really can't eat much. when he got back, he bought me the spaghetti with iced tea and french fries and pizza meatpie. i was so full! i couldn't eat anymore but he was forcing me to eat. he didn't want me to feel that im abusing him or something. which i wasn't really.

so when i was heading back, he told me that he's coming with me to wait until i get my license. i was so thankful he helped a lot for two days now.

i finally got my license.

if only he could read my blog right now, he would be able to see my license. when i got it i didn't let him see anything. even my picture. he was eager to look at it and i was just convinced i wont let him. wahahaha. i made him a deal instead. i would let him see my license if i would bump into him again. so he said he was going to visit me at home.

when we were going home, YES! he accompanied me until i got home. inside our gate. hay!!! LIFE! i wouldn't even think that that would happen to me in the LTO. but you will never really know what to expect. coz i didn't until now.

happy birthday!

2006-06-17T13:31:00.000+08:00

its my mum's birthday. she turns 49 today.

my dad asked me to buy roses and he said

"200 pieces ha. or 100 na lang. baka kulang basta punuin mo ng red and white roses yung bahay"

4 down 10 to go!

2006-06-16T12:05:00.000+08:00

it has been one month of attending class. i've been feeling the pressure in me. i can't help but feel that i'm missing the nicotine that i've left five months marked today. i can't believe that i have survived five months without it. it has been my friend for the long time. the friend i could rely when i don't have someone. the friend i have been with along the ups and downs of my life.

i'll give myself the benefit of the doubt, butim guessing that one of these days, i would go back to my old habits. it is true they say that old habit die young and i believe those people when they say this. and now that i have proven i have control over myself, i wouldn't have the problem if i start to smoke again.

i have control. i think!

for the past four months in school, i have learned how to eat alone.talk to people i don't know that much. and to approach a lot of people. i know its going to be the term i would always get exhausted buti would learn alot duringmy last year here.

i am starting to learn how to balance my time and mingle more with people. iknow that im creating more friends because the contacts in my phone are still increasing and 250 slots in my SIM card is not enough.

i just want to add that i have a new phone. my dad gave it to me last night. as usual, because we had an argument, he iskinda bribing me not to get angry. to let me feel that he is just doing those things formy own good.no hard feelings.

addicted to L

2006-06-15T15:42:00.000+08:00

"the way that we live....
dan-dada-dada-dan
dada-dan"

i can't stop thinking about yoda!

over the past few days, i got hooked with the most interesting tv series i have watched. i can't help but picture it everywhere. on my way to school i keep bumping into lesbians that made me think of the program again.

did i mention that the program is a story about lesbians? yes. its a story of lesbians friends in west hollywood and how they go on with life dealing with problems they are faced with. they try to figure out what they want in life most and balanced these things with their career.

don't get so confused okay. i got addicted to L because of the story. L does not represent only lesbian. it also means life, love, lust, luscious, i want to say crisp-ey but the word doesn't start with the letter L. any word that you can think of that starts with the letter L is the meaning of L.

i got so obsessed that i watched the 2 seasons for two days and haven't slept since then. it kept me thinking about life and what i want and need. not that im a lesbian but because the problems they encounter are problems of any normal person. its just that its more complicated with them because the relationship is with the same sex.

when i finished the whole program. the only thing in my head were they funny scenes and the intimate sex scenes in it. so when i was saying that when i kept bumping into lesbians on my way to school, my mind just goes wild and wonders if these people do what the actors do in the show. do they have the same situation to those characters in the show. are they really out or are they just that?

i can't seem to figure it because of course i cannot relate to them.

i was just saying to my cousin last night how i was dreaming of the episodes. it was funny, passionate and true. i'm just afraid that i would end up dreaming about it but i would the character in the show already. EWE!

but what if. i would never know. what if i have the tendency to be gay? i would never really know. the characters in the show were telling their 'coming out' story thats when they finally knew what they're real identity is. there are many whatifs in this world and you will never know the answer until you experience it yourself. feelings are hard to explain. you may have the picture in your head but the fact that you haven't experienced it you can't say that you're not that type of person.

all im say it that there is a little gay person in us. he or she may either grow in us or leave us eventually. hypothetically, if im correct everyone has a chance of being gay in the future. im just saying.

the long weekend

2006-06-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

last friday, i almost got robbed when i was on my way home. i was wondering if i decided to stay or do something different, would someone else take the place i had and would exactly have the exact experience that i had.

i was a blogk away from our house. i was sitting at the end of the jeepney when two guys jumped up the jeep and one guy was smiling at me. i got kinda scared so i hugged my bag so tight and removed it away from him. this guy started saying something and laughing and was about to reach for the necklace that i was wearing. i didn't know if its the driver to thank that he saw the guys and stepped on gas or to thank god because the guy had short hair. he wasn;t able to reach for it and thank god he didn't.

i was thinking about how lucky i was. i was so shocked that i said "para po. sa kanto na lang." there was traffic and i had the time not to run going down the jeep. i didn't. i was almost running because i didn't want those guys to see me go down and follow me to my place. i was so shocked still and my heart was beating fast that i was so stiff clutching my bag around me and was just looking back the whole time.

it was horrifying. as i got home, i started getting back to my senses that i got to think how it was good that he hadn't targeterd my bag. it would suck if he had gotten it. it had my ipod, wallet with P2500 and id and other credit cards in it, and the notebook i have.

THE WEEKEND

the only thing i did was go to the house of my cousin and tried to finish the arrangement of our songs and started making new ones. the whole day until fifi needed to go the dentist that afternoon.

i borrowed this DVD that they told me was interesting. i got curious that i started watching it when she left. i was at first shocked by the scenes i saw. but after a while tolerance got higher and everything was okay.

THE L WORD.

its all about lesbians, love, lust and all L words that can be formed. it was interesting that that night i finished one whole season without even sleeping. i was funny coz i didn't realize i finished it when there were no more cds to pop in the player.

i got so into it that the next day, i borrowed the next season and finished it the morning before i went to school.i can't really remember the days coz im really getting confused of the events and i almost did the same things.

and now i hadn't slept for two days because i got so addicted to the program. i can't wait to see the nextg thing. funny coz im really attracted to shane. she is so cute. she is super kind and uber good friend. i want someone like that. its very hard to find someone like that. but she's a girl. am i a lesbian? NOT!

so i got my dentist appointment yesterday and the funny thing. i was asked when was the last time i went to the dentist. so i was estimating it to 2 years. and it i thought she was gonna get mad but she was really impressed. i didn't have any cavities in my teeth and i only needed cleaning which is normal. but she was saying that with the time i didn't go the dentist, that i should have had more dirt in my teeth.

two thumbs up for me!

independence day came. i didn't really feel anything independent. of course my situation wouldn't let me. i am bound to follow whatever my parents tell me and is prohibited to do whatever i want to.

the long weekend wasnt that long. it was normal. i didn't get much sleep and i didn't really do anything productive except record some song and finished two whole season of the L word.

its the bomb!

i root for shane.

WHO WOULD THINK THAT THIS GIRL IS A LESBIAN? OH I WOULD DEFINITELY CONSIDER HER... HAHAHA

i haven't really gotten to finish the story

2006-06-09T15:57:00.000+08:00

so after the long argument. with no arguments really happening. he gets me to write a contract/letter/promissory note or whatever you would want to call it of things i should do and should not do until i graduate from college. and it goes a little something like this

MAY 22, 2006

TO ALL HUMAN BEINGS LIVING IN THIS UNIVERSE

I PROMISE TO NEVER GO OUT OF THE HOUSE UNTIL
I GRADUATE. UNLESS I'M WITH MY FAMILY. AND I WOULD
ALSO SLEEP NOT LATER THAN 1030PM EVERY NIGHT.

katrina pastor

so i signed it like going into a contract with a client or something and it is now hanged to their wall and awaits to be framed and hanged in my room. i know its a little dramatic but my dad just had a little attack. no biggie. but i really felt so sad that he just can't trust me anymore. he was asking lots of questions that i couldn't answer but when he asks me stuff that are technical, i would answer him in a very detailed manner and after a long explanation, he would tell my mum that he doesn't believe a word i said and wants my mum to clarify all of it by going with me to school and asking whoever about why in my assessment form its not indicated that i'm graduating and why there is a surcharge when they could have allowed me to pay earlier. i was all complicated and interconnected. i think when i was talking he was hearing what im saying but not really listening to every word that comes in my mouth.

he thinks im a liar.

can you believe it? i've been honest enough to tell him that i have failed a class and because i failed the exam. and after telling him, he tells me he doesn't believe a word i say. how ridiculous? when can i ever tell him something that he would just believe me?

i use to think that i could get closer to him and would tell him everything. try to catch up with life. it sounds so not me but i guess i really wanted to change. i wanted to tell him that i'm having a hard time in college and he should that its normal for this kind of feeling and event to happen.

as i said im not proud but i just want to make a point that its normal for a college student to fail a class. and im going to say it again. i am not proud

so every night even if im not that tired i would go to bed at 1030pm and would pretend that i'm sleeping when im not and just lie there thinking about all this. i can't really get it out of my head coz every night i would have to do my obligations.

but the thing that's bothering me most. is that after that day, we were okay and he bought stuff already like nothing has happened. everything that he is making me do is actually beneficial but can't do it everynight during this term that i'm graduating and assessing practicum and trying to pass the goddamn term to finish and graduate this october of 2006.

that night i was talking to my bestfriend, zaza. she was telling that i could survive the term. i always do. i was just unlucky last term and little slacking at some point but she knows me too well that this will all come together and i don't have to be angry or upset with my dad. issues have risen back and i was telling zaza over the net that i've been feeling bad again about it. she was saying i should confront people about it and just find some answers to my questions.

funny coz i was chatting with my cousin about it and to zaza and i was crying. my eyes were just like the faucet just turned on and flowing with every drop of tear my body can produce. i was so depressed that even the next day, my eyes were just swollen. my friends noticed how tired my eyes were and was consoling me when i was like cheering them up. until the next day my eyes were still swollen coz thats the night when i was talking to my cousins and just pouring out there.

i dont want to do it again. but everytime i think about what happened it keeps me down. things pop in my head that i don' really want to think about. my heart just literally beats faster normal and i would feel tears bursting to come out of my eyes and i would stop it.

i want to stop it. i can't do it on my own but i have to. anyone can listen to my bullshit but im the only person who can help myself to carryon and i hate it.

i have no life as i know it

2006-05-31T23:35:00.000+08:00

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 80movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you'veseen.There are 167 movies on this list. Put yourscore in header and repost:

Total 6/11:
( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x ) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
( ) my first mister
(x) the virgin suicides

Total: 5/12
( ) The Princess Bride
( ) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
() Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( x) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total: 10/11
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 8/10
(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

Total: 7/10
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
() Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
( ) Robots

Total: 8/12
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG

Total: 10/13
(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

Total: 8/9
(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 9/14
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
(x) the Mask
(x) Son Of The Mask

Total: 5/13
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Se7en
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

Total: 7/12
(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
(x) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total: 8/12
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator 2

Total: 14/17
(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of fire
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) Cruel Intentions 3
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total: 9/11
(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
(x) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin

to add everything up i have watched 114 movies in the list. what a life.

hell is not even close

2006-05-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

P42,519 + surcharge = INFERNO!

im not really sure what triggered everything. coz everything i did was wrong. i can't seem to find the start of the story. i've been agonizing for the past month about the class i failed during my third term last year. and becauase of that i'm being punished.

the fact that im so lazy. completes my whole story. no! its not even close to .00000000001%. everything that i do is wrong. i don't love my brothers. im not responsible. i'm not growing towards the right direction. all i think about is myself. all i care about is my band and playing. i don't respect anybody. i prefer listening to my cousins than my parents. i don't listen at all. i hear but don't listen.

i'm a selfish son-of-a-bitch!!!!!

there are times that i do these things but i'm a person. i have a mind of my own and i don't let anyone tell me what to do. except for my parents. because they're the ones giving me money. and with that i mean my tuition and allowance for school.

today was the first day and it wasn't like any other first day. i am now scheduled to pay for my tuition. im a little late coz i'm following this schedule. i called papa to tell him im going home after class to pay for it. and dumb and kuripot me told him that i'm late for payment and there is a surcharge for late payment... ISSUE!

with that, he's asking me to stop going to school coz he's not willing to give me the money to pay for my tuition. i should just stay home and hangout ding nothing. he says that atleast they wouldn't be expecting anything from me coz im just at home. makes sense to me.

im gonna crack. he was telling i can now concentrate on the band. not a bad idea right? i mean i really want the band to work. the band getting paid and all i can raise the money on my own to pay for the P42519 tuition. FUN!
atleast i would be doing something i really like.

im not reacting to anything. i really dont want to argue with him. i'm just too tired of those long and depressing arguments with him. i keep thinking bad stuff that i want to do and intend to do.

my mum was forcing me to get myself together and ask him properly because i'm the one in need of his help (a.k.a. his money). i don't like to beg.

i don't beg.

so he let my chance depend on his games of solitaire. and the cards just doesn't want me study anymore. so he was telling my brothers that they're not going to study anymore so we could pay for my school. or they could len me their money so i could pay for the installment of my tuition. they did. they gave me their money without any complaints and i got 12000 from my three brothers. ain't they sweet? even if we fight a lot. we love each other.. and thats a fact!

more to this story but i have to be sleeping... its only 10pm but the story will soon get to you. its a long story.

happy birthday!

2006-05-20T11:37:00.000+08:00

h a p p y b i r t h d a y t o y o U !

another time for reflection

2006-05-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

it sucks how my dad really thinks i will not be graduating this year. it's bad enough already thati failed a class and the academic assistant yesterday was repeating it over and over to my face and won't let me add a course at first (eventually she let me get the class i needed).

he doesn't really listen to what i say. i'm trying to explain to him that i already have other subjects and im just gonna add the class i failed so i could pay the tuition. but then the academic assistant helped me coz yesterday only the people with problems in accounting can enroll and the rest would have to line up again on monday. she already added the class but i have to pay my tuition on monday. i have to pay a surcharge. i called him up but i think he was talking to someone then so he just said okay and put down the phone.

it's kinda frustrating that he doesn't see how bad i'm feeling about it. i kinda need the comfort and the assurance that i can do it. he thinks already that i will not be able to do anything. i know that im 100% lazy. but there is always two-sides of the picture. even if i'm lazy, i'm good at what i do.

i am... am not bragging but just telling the truth.

i don't know how to even describe the way of encouragement of my dad. will that even help me to work hard or just slack around. i didn't want to fail i was just one of the unfortch students who took the class who failed. i'm not proud of it.

i'm not allowed to be this arrogant person i am. but i have to strong. i can't let him put me down. like he always does, i should also ignore him and do just the best i could to succeed and finish the journey to the end.

amazing race!

2006-05-19T14:21:00.000+08:00

HIPPIES RULES!!!!

congratulations to BJ and Tyler! the one million prize was really meant for you. you have come a long way to prove that you really deserve the 1st prize in the amazing race 9! goodluck on more of your travels.

to the second team to arrive at the final pitstop. congrats to you erik and jeremy! its not bad to go back to waiting tables. you have been one hell of a competition in this race.

Congrats to both ray and yolanda! its just tough love you need! besides the prizes you got were awesome. and to travel the world with a loved one is a priceless thing.

i hope i can travel the world like how the contestants did it. its so much fun. i've been to some of the places they've been to. i'm thankful i could travel the world.

keeps me thinking

2006-05-18T01:38:00.000+08:00

i've been bumming at home for quite some time now. i never seem to think of anything except sleep and eat.

my last term in school and i haven't enrolled. what ifs came rushing in to me. what if i made my dad so mad that he wont let me enroll this time. what if i dont get the class i needed? what if i would fail a class this term? what if i left home? what if i have studied better? what if i didn't watch a movie with a friend of mine than attending a class for a change?

all these questions came to me and i couldn't find any answers. the "i told you so" line isn't enough. i need support. i've been keeping the frightened me indoors since i got that stupid report card last month.

i'm scared. i never worked out a plan that would talk about my future. i'm still young but i know i'm not that young to not think about what should be ahead of me. in less than 4 months i would hopefully finish school. i really dont know what i want to be.

i can't even picture myself during that time.

why does it have to be this hard? sometimes there are people that know already what they want and need when they grow up. for me its very complicated. did i skip a step while growing up? or was i sleeping during the lecture about the planning ahead of the future.

i keep hearing the topic but never really know what or how the step-by-step procedure works. that you can't find the right answers to the questions you have listed down while you were walking down the road.

they say its life. i say its me. its always different with every different person - life. you can't just plan and think that everything will work out the way you want it to work. its not the way the cookie crumbles.

i've been thinking a lot lately. my mum and dad always push me around. telling me what to do. and i really hate them for it. i can't blame them. they're parents and thats they usually and should always do to their kids. but i think pushing me around is not that bad. when my papa preaches i listen. i know he's right and i'm fed up with everything he says but he is really true. those things he tells me are things i should really think about coz i need someone to guide me in things i don't know.

im young and naive. and i'm scared of life. i just feel great pressure that brings me down. and i can't help but just think. think and no more act.

soon-to-be-drowning

2006-05-16T18:05:00.000+08:00

in less than one week i would be going back to school to finish my last 3 months of school(1 whole semester). i can't believe how fast i was able to finish college. it seems like it was just yesterday that i was in gradeschool putting makeup on during recess with my bestfriend and just laughing so hard with what we've been doing.

speaking of my best friend... the night of mother's day when we got home from a very yummy VIP dinner at Kulinarya, i openned my mail to be surprised with a message from a very close friend of mine when i was in gradeschool.

it was her birthday yesterday and i she picked me up at my place so i could attend her party. so sweet! kathryn surio. this girl is a friend of mine. her mum and i got to talking and she was remembering only me as her daughter's only friend in STC.

we lost contact when she started to go home study after gradeschool. i never saw her again until last night. funny thing coz her house is one tricycle ride away from my place.

her mum got so excited that they gave me a free membership in their gym. we got to catch up on things. there were so many things i don't know about her. i couldn't even remember really anything about her. i just remember how sick she was before, she is quiet and she cries when she arrives to school late. i know! my complete opposite!

it was a very long time. and now i know that there will be more time for us to get to know more about each other. more time in the future to hangout and have fun like the old days.

i can't believe that was 12 years ago. im not that old but we were that young and we still consider each other as best friends. FOREVER.

going back. first thing monday morning i should be up early to attend class. i can't believe my one month is up already. but then i feel like i haven't gotten enough sleep from the tiring days i had the last term.

i have to make the most out of this week before i get to be stuck with classroom and professors and fucking classes.

goodluck to me and to everyone who failed SALESBA! let's show these fuckers how they made a mistake...

happy birthday!

2006-05-05T01:37:00.000+08:00

greeting from manila. a happy birthday to my friends and family WHO ARE CELEBRATING THEIR BIRTHDAY TODAY!

My cousin nona

Crazy sexy cool Tin

My loving Biatch Friend

and to a very unforgettable aunt! *wink*(sorry i don't have her photo)

happy birthday to everyone and i hope everybody enjoy themselves as much as i am enjoying my life!

the summer i never expected

2006-05-02T00:32:00.000+08:00

everything was really planned. the thing i don't usually do (the planning in advance). but it was too good to be true. all was down the drain when i finally got my coursecard for this class (law on sales).

the whole time it was very easy for me coz the class was kinda using common sense. i was slacking at some point but i wasn't that bad. i failed. the one class i gave effort this term. the only law class i ever gave effort to even study. and i failed.

let's go back to the past.

april 5, 2006
it was the first and last day of my examination. i have to tests for that day. the first one was finish for an hour by 1130am and i have 6 hours and a half to study for that class (which i failed together with everyone who took that fucking test).

i read the book from front to back and i definitely knew i was going to pass the test until 6pm came. the day before this day i didn't go anywhere. stayed home (literally locked myself inside my room) and studied the book(and notes i have from the class) the whole day.

the test was fucking hard. everyone says so. even if i didn't study i would know those things i had the chance to answer. but i did study, and there is no difference.

april 10, 2006 - JUDGMENT DAY!!!
i went to school to pass a research paper and had to wait for 2 hours for the coursecard distribution. i wasn't really expecting to pass. but maybe i can persuade the prof to adjust my grade. i was really very participative in the class. everyone knows so.. they remembered my name even if they don't know me coz of me reciting often.

i failed the class. together with almost half of my class and other students from the other classes failed. basically nobody got a high grade in teh exam. it was as hard as my head. i couldn't really cry coz i know its my fault why i failed. but i can't help that i failed for the very first time in my life. but still i didn't cry. there was this choking feeling in me that is just stopping me to feel sad but giving way for anger.

i actually smiled to the professor when i got the card. i don't really know how to react because i never have had the prior experience of failing anything. not that i'm bragging to anyone but evrybody can relate t me when i say "first time".

i SMSed my closest friends and told them immediately. i couldn't face the fact so i just laughed it out. i was talking to my dad right after and i couldn't bare to tell him the truth. i wanted to so we could be open but i don't like to disappoint him. we've been a bragging bitches about graduating this year and i have failed him. i'm very sorry.

i was thinking of telling that i night i met with him but in the middle of our conversation, there was something that came up that hindered me from telling him about it. so i waited.

i never found the right time to tell him. until he asked me for my grades. i couldn't lie. something i've been doing quite often when it comes to school. i can't blame him to be angry. But I can’t blame myself to not really feel anything because I’ve been dragged from my bed to be scolded. I’m half asleep and being scolded. But I was still crying. I wanted to tell him I wanted to take the class during the summer but I was really thinking of what he’s gonna say.

I was so confused I just stared to thin air. Not really listening to him scolding me for what seemed like a long time but was just about 10 minutes while he was dressing up. I was just there. Thinking of what he might make me do or not do.

What is now?
First thing was the band. Mozzie is history for me until I graduate. I knew all my gigs are cancelled. My life is over. I can’t go out at nights so I’m back to sneaking out during the morning and come back drunk as hell after 3 hours of drinking my soul out. No more nightlife for me. All my friends are gona get pissed at me.

I’m gonna be stuck with my whole pretending-to-be-perfect-but-really-shattered-disengaged-family. And I really am. The whole day I’m fucking talking to my mum, my brother, my grandma or my dad. I wanted to talk to the maids but didn’t really see anything interesting to talk about.

I’m stuck with piles of books and DVDs that I have bought and have been intellectually drowning myself... making my brain and eyes bleed to death.

My supposedly-last-perfect-but-cancelled-summer is ruined. I am. And I don’t know what to do about it.

star in a million

2006-04-09T16:58:00.000+08:00

here i am the star in a million. laugh all you want. panalo tong picture na to diba?

Tagged by Pam

2006-03-17T09:25:00.000+08:00

Four Jobs I've Had In My Life
1. considered ba yung business ko sa school? chairman ako ng company ko. haha big time!
2. bum!
3. certified reyna ng tambay
4. shopping partner

Four Films I Can Watch Over and Over
1. White Chicks
2. edward scissorhands
3. with honors
4. my sassy girl

Four Places I Have Lived
1. 1827 Antipolo St.
2. 1214 Pioneer
3. 14J Dansalan Gardens
4. not really that rich para marami akong bahay...

Four TV Programs I Love To Watch
1. FRIENDS
2. The OC
3. Oprah
4. One Tree Hill

Four Places I Would Have Visited, Had I Had The Money
1. Paris
2. India
3. Dubai
4. Brazil

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. friends' blogs
2. pinkisthenewblog.com
3. youtube.com
4. yahoo mail

Four Of My Favorite Foods
1. pizza
2. pasta
3. cakes
4. chocolates

Four Places I Would Rather Be
1. faraway
2. the mall
3. boracay
4. in a parlor to get my hair done

Four Bloggers I Am Tagging
1. zaza
2. ging
3. reden
4. wala na ko maisip

going back to something i really love doing

2006-02-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

summer is here and i have to get ready to wear those two-piece i've bought.

im back to swimming. and i love the feeling of getting tired but not really perspiring. doing my laps so that i could really tone my body. WOWKIE! im not really like this. im not wishing to be thin. but to be in shape or fit.

funny things happen when going to the celebrity sports. you should read her blog for the details.

may it rain or shine. cold or hot water didn't really stop me from going.

EHEM!

2006-02-21T11:17:00.000+08:00

answer this please...

pink is the new blog fan

2006-02-10T22:50:00.000+08:00

i am hooked. i have never been really a good reader when it there are pictures involve. i just use my imagination to make up some lame story to excuse myself from reading the whole thing.

now that the only thing i do is face my laptop and work, my only break is when i would be reading this. here is where i get all the hollywood infos and the newbreaks on the hottest and most recent happening with the stars.

and this is the best pic i have ever seen so far. Oh britney!

wow! i was really shocked. and they look normal as if nothing has happened. i mean she doesn't have to brag that she's a mother already. we all know. and she could just have said it. but no. she has to flash us to get our attention...

i love trent. he's so lucky!

hell week every week.

2006-02-08T17:43:00.000+08:00

its been six weeks in school and it has made my brain collapse. i need to unwind but can't really find the time to do this. not even a time to visit the salon to get my hair done.

what sucks even more is that i've been told to stop smoking, drinking alcohol even coffee and other things as well(shhh!). things that make me and bring me to life right now. i know i have been digging myself from deep dirt right now, but im getting sick.

its been really hard for me to sleep at night. i need those things. i need it badly.

there is no time. a lot of things to finish and so little time alloted for it. half of the term has passed and i feel nothing has been done. our practicum has been doing poorly. i can't even have the strenght to sell our product. we've all been having a hard time doing so. with the schedule we have, its very hard to balance everything that is laid down on us.

i hope that it wouldn't be this hard on our last term next term, i need to look good when i graduate. haha.

i need to perform well this term. i need to be a dean's lister for just a term and it's just hard with some of the subjects i have. its not that i dont understand, its just that the tasks are too much to carry.

i know i can manage. but i don't think i could excel. im just hoping for the best. goodluck to me.

i never knew.

2006-02-07T02:02:00.000+08:00

Your Observation Skills Get A B

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)
And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

panalo

2006-02-02T00:10:00.000+08:00

a great find. crush calculator that will give you the right answers to your questions.

the third week of school

2006-01-18T20:12:00.000+08:00

its the third week of school and its been real hell.